Chapter 94

Mason stood under the stream of hot water, wishing it would wash away the doubts he had in his mind, the voices reaching out to him from somewhere unreachable. There was something there, something he was supposed to do, but every time he tried to figure it out, it would slip out of reach and he would go back to being confused.

Candice had been nothing but supportive of him, willing to be patient until he was ready to be… together… again. They had been a couple for a long time; they had slept together before, but for some reason, something was holding him back. Maybe that’s why he was so confused. That he needed to get that part of their life together back and he would be back to normal.

“Hey, babe,” Candice called over the sound of the shower. “How are you feeling?”

Mason hesitated before opening the shower door and pulling Candice under the water with him. He pressed her against the wall and kissed her deeply while he let his hands roam over her body as if he were searching for answers too far out of reach.

“Mason, what-” she moaned, holding onto his shoulders. “My clothes are wet.”

Mason pulled back as if he’d forgotten where he was again and didn’t expect to find himself there.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, pulling away and running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m-”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, believe me,” Candice told him, peeling her dress off her body and stepping closer to him again. She ran her fingers down the damp skin of his chest and further down until his breath caught in his throat, and her hands rubbed him under. She felt his erection grow. “See? There’s nothing to apologize for. I’ve wanted this for so long. Wanted you. Wanted to feel you-”

Mason groaned as her hand began moving up and down his length until he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Without thinking, he ran his hands around her waist and down to her backside, lifting her off her feet. She wrapped her legs around him tightly, pulling him close in case he tried to run.

This time, she would finally get her way.

One more risk…

“We should use a condom,” she murmured against his neck as she nibbled at him a little rougher than necessary.

“I don’t think I have one-”

“It’s okay, they’re in the top drawer of the vanity,” Candice told him, giggling when Mason carried her out of the shower so he didn’t have to put her down.

He sat her on the bathroom bench and found a condom, slipping it on quickly. He barely had it on properly when Candice reached for him and pulled him against her. She guided his hand between her legs and smiled in a way she hoped he would find alluring. He held his breath and slid two fingers inside her, his mind wanting to slow down while his body was screaming at him to keep going, to bury himself so deep within her that he didn’t remember anything at all. Right at that moment, he didn’t want to remember. He didn’t want to think. He just wanted to feel, to have something normal, real.

He pulled his fingers from her and grabbed her hips tight, pulling her close to him and sliding deep inside her until there was no room left.

He shuddered as she wrapped around him. She wasn’t particularly tight, it was just enough for him to feel her shake when he entered her.

“Mason…” she whispered, dropping her head to rest against his shoulder.

He wasn’t sure why, but he wanted to tell her to stop talking. It was distracting, it was annoying, he just wanted to enjoy the moment.

Something didn’t feel right, but he pushed it aside and started to move within her. He picked up his speed, telling his mind to shut up and get it over with. It made him pause when he realized he wanted to get it over and done with. Shouldn’t he want to make it last, to show how long he can go for, to savor the woman he was going to marry?

He let out a growl of frustration with himself and started moving again.

He pounded into her as if he were chasing something, but it wasn’t what was in front of him. She dropped her head back, panting in a way that annoyed him and made him want to stop. But he kept going, telling himself that he just had to get passed this one more… hurdle… and he would be himself again.

“Ohhhhhh I’m close… I’m-”

Masson let himself go when he felt her spasm around him. He found his release but it didn’t come with the happy, almost numb, feeling he used to get. He pulled out of her as soon as he could, dumping the condom in the trash as if it were a sign of something he regretted, something he shouldn’t have done.

Candice didn’t seem to notice anything wrong with his reaction and slid to the floor and reached for him, but he stepped out of her reach, frowning.

“I-”

Candice didn’t want him to continue with what he was going to say.

“What are you doing today?” she asked quickly.

“I’m going into the office. And I called Damon-”

“Damon? Why would you want to see him? He hasn’t tried to see you, he’s running around with the woman he’s trying to convince you that you were married to. What kind of friend is he if he does that?”

“He’s my best friend, he would have come to see me if you hadn’t told security not to allow anyone near me-”

“Mason, I was protecting you!”

“I don’t need to be protected, Candice. I just need to remember!”