It hurts.
What hurts?
I don’t know on how to explain the pain that I am feeling today and I feel that my heart is being torn a million times and my chest is tightening. This is so hurts. It hurts a lot.
That’s how big my sin to him for him to endure not talking to me?
I can’t take it anymore.
I never dream of having a perfect partner but him, he is perfect in my life.
Kiki…
I miss you so much.
I can’t function well and thin straight because we are not yet okay. I am getting near to him but he is distancing himself. Too close yet too far. He is avoiding me, aren’t he is tired? He is so over acting and acting like a childish.
It’s been since we are not okay and this is just nothing on him so our relationship too. In short, he don't care at all.
I tried to understand him and give him days to think, reflect. I understand him that he feel hurt about that but he shouldn’t treat me like this, it so hurts in part. He is unfair. I feel like dying each day passed that we are not okay. I already bow down, what he wants me to do so he will talk at me?
He's my life and my world.
"Kiki…" I called his name in a weakly way.
I don’t know what I am going to do anymore. I am dying in pain.
"Kiki…" I go near him and I hold his hand tightly.
He stilled when I held his hand. He look at it and he can’t look at me. Why don’t want to look at me?! This thing makes me frustrated and added on my problems!
He is going to work.
Can he prioritize me just for this day?
It’s been days and becoming a week in the next two days. I feel there is missing piece on me. I can’t stop myself from crying and he let me hold his hand.
“Talk to me. Please.” I beg and look directly on his eyes and shook his hands that I am holding.
I can’t another day to not fix the misunderstanding. I feel my knee is getting weaker. I Hold at his another hand.
He look at me and his eye are emotionless. His cold stares. He is like a robot that doesn’t have any life.
“Sorry Kiki… please talk to me.” My voice is shaking.
I can’t bear this anymore.
Does he wants me to kneel in front of him or kiss his feet? I will do it without hesitation.
“Let’s talk about this. Let’s fix the problem and address them. I can’t take it anymore… Kiki, please talk to me! I am getting crazy.” I stiff.
“How did you do that to me?” His voice is full of hate and his expression didn’t change at all.
.
“I already broke up with him before when we are together and I don’t know that he will chase me and threaten me. It’s not my fault to be beautiful.” I wiped my tears. I don’t like crying it’s too dramatic. Life is already dramatic.
This is the feeling of being in love, you can’t avoid pain. This is how it feels too when someone made you complete and when there’s a misunderstanding or problems it feels like a hundred objects is sobbing your heart.
“Claire…” he muttered my name serious, “you really don’t love me.” he is hurting, “if you really love me. You won’t leave me.” Confusion is written in my face.
What is he talking about again? What left? I never left him and I will never do that.
My heart ache when he remove my holds in his hands.
“I never left you!” I said, “and even if you push me away I won’t leave you.” I said it from my heart while sincerely looking at his black eyes.
His eyes wants to says something to me. His eyes are longing for someone. He is hurting into something that he can’t speak about. Kienzo is remain mysterious on me.
“Don’t be immature.” I couldn’t stop myself from saying those words.
His face became blank again and I feel that he didn’t like what I had said.
He is immature because he don’t want to face and talk about our problem. You shouldn’t act like that way if you are in a relationship.
I look at his fist when he clenched it. So, he is mad again?
“Claire? Really?! You fucking left me!” I almost jump when he shouted again. His veins showed in his neck and hands.
What’s his problem?
Why he is getting mad again.?
When did I left him? I didn’t remember anything. I think of event like that. Ah yes! I remember it now, when I sleep on Bolat’s house and I didn’t go home that time.
“Then what?! Someone showed up and he’s your fucking ex?! Are you playing with me?!” He is suppressing himself to shout again.
He is suppressing his angry.
This man have small brain. I heard a lot of good lawyer but this one doesn’t understand what I had said, how come he became a lawyer and received a lot of awards? I already told him, many times that I already broke up with Lorex. I wanna slap an apple.
“Kiki huhu…” my voice is begging.
“Claire, you know what? Stop fooling me! I can fucking sue you!” he said seriously and glared at me deeply.
I stilled to what he said.
He is too much!
“You fucking used me! I can’t believe that I let someone like you fooled me!” his voice is full of hate
I stare in the air and I can’t believe on what he said to me. I did not cheat on him.
His attitude is ugly!
“I didn’t cheat on you and fool you.” I said weakly. I don’t know what to explain anymore and I am speechless.
He said so much hurtful words.
“I’ll work for our annulment! I can’t longer accept that I am with a cheater like you!”
He said those while looking at my eyes, and his eyes are burning in angry and hate. He walk out and slam the door. He hated me and he is really angry. His mom were true that no one can tame and calm him down and change his mind whenever he is mad.
I forgot, if it started to soon then it will ended to quick.
I smile bitterly and I sat on the floor.
I know that he have a degree and well know but he don’t have rights to look down on me. I may didn’t have a degree but I am a good person with integrity. He don’t know what I had been through in my life for him to judge me, even he is my husband he don’t have right to say those words.
He looks so tall on himself.
He is genius yet have a ugly attitude.
He is asshole.
I love him serious yet he is acting like that.
He is not handsome. Who he is anyway? He is nothing too.
He stupid, I won’t cry over him but it really hurts.
---
“Sir, your client had been waiting for you. She had been waiting you and she said that you are unprofessionals, you made you clients wait.” Kienzo's assistant reported to him.
Kienzo’s assistant is walking while running to follow him from together. Kienzo steps are too big.
“You should tell him to find another lawyer.” Kienzo said furiously. His stares are in front.
“Sir, she is a woman.” His assistant corrected him.
Kienzo saw his twin that talking to someone but didn’t not greeted on him. Enzo smiled on him while looking.
Kenzo looked at him with a teasing smile. He don't have time to buy his twin's bullshit.
“I don’t fucking care.” Kienzo madly open his office door and his assistant is still following him, yet she feel nervous on Kienzo’s actions.
This is her first time seeing him in the bad mood.
He is scary when is not in the good mood. He might eat her alive.
Kienzo sat on his swivel stressful.
“Sir, your client is at the lobby. She is waiting for you there. You might want go there.” His assistant said slowly and in a respect way yet there’s a little sarcasm.
“Tell her to find another lawyer or she should go home.” Kienzo didn’t mind and open his laptop.
“Sir, she will sue you if you did not meet her right now at the lobby. She is mad and her noise is already smoking.”
Kienzo sighed and massaged his temple because of his assistant. This woman in front of him annoyed him more.
“Can you please fucking get out of my office and follow what I’ve told you?!” Kienzo shouted at her. Can’t stops himself from shouting.
“Sorry sir.” His assistant got scared at him and left him and she came back shaking when she forgot saying something on him.
“Ay sir, your wife here.” Kienzo stops from entering the password on his computer.
“She said that, she passed by. That’s all sir, good morning and god bless you. Don’t be sos tress and hot tempered today.”His assistant said and stormed out of his office.
What she’s doing here again and what she needs? They’re already talked.
Another problem.
It’s morning yet his head is aching.
What does woman needs again from him?
Why that woman is hard to deal with?