Chapter 57: A BRO SHALT NOT USE THE L WORD-6

"You, uh, get a little competitive there?" I grinned. "Austin and Madison never saw that coming." Eliza wrinkled her nose. We stepped to the wall to let the next group play. Eliza grabbed a soda can, and I slowly drank from my, um, not soda. "There something going on between you and Madison I don't know about?" I asked. We leaned against the basement wall, half watching the next game at the ping-pong table. "Not really." "That's fine," I said, "Madison has trouble getting along with other girls." "Can't imagine why," said Eliza. I didn't take the bait. True, Madison could be awfully overbearing, dramatic, and rude. She was hot, though, and a lot of guys liked her. But Eliza was so much more. In every department. The thing people didn't really get about Madison was that she was exactly like Austin and I were, or at least I was before Eliza, kind of. She didn't want a boyfriend, just boyfriends. Lots of them. North Cassidy could forgive bros for that lifestyle, but not Madison. Especially when she rubbed her will to do whatever she wanted in the world's face like she was starring in a soap opera. "She's hard to compete with," said Eliza. "She's not competition," I murmured. Our shoulders brushed and God, did I want to pull her close to me. We were still surrounded in a crowd, with some people trying to get closer to the game table and some people trying to join a different game. A large circle on the other side of the room formed where Carter and Hannah were sitting. I took a step towards that, but Eliza grabbed my finger. "I'm sorry," she said, "you probably think that's crazy clingy. The Nick Maguire I know hates clinginess. I do too," she spoke quickly, like she couldn't get the words out fast enough, like she was afraid I would interrupt her. It was more babbling that I'd ever heard from her before. And I loved it. "The thing about Madison is I can't stand thinking about her being with you. I can't stand thinking about me not being with you. I care about you and this way too much, and I don't want her to ruin it." She looked everywhere except for me, and I heard it in her voice. It. "None of that seems crazy. I feel like that too," I said. I'm falling in love with you. Those words shocked me as I thought them. What, Nick? Every voice in my head swarmed, confused, trying to figure out what that meant. It was too soon. Too fast. Too much. You're not in love, Nick, my brain protested, You're just happy. But this wasn't about me. It was about her, and how I always hoped to make her feel special. And safe. Especially safe. "I couldn't stand not being with you either," I said. I love you. "I—" I almost told her how I felt. I probably would have, if Carter and Hannah hadn't called us over. Eliza headed towards her friends, who were apparently all waiting for us. I would have told Eliza if I hadn't let her walk away from me and into the circle with Carter, Hannah, Robert (obviously), Austin, Madison, Jeff, and a few juniors. The words unsaid left a strange taste in my mouth. Like soy sauce mixed with Diet Coke. "Lezzgo, Nick," Jeff called. "We're playing spin the bottle." Eliza took a little stutter step, but Hannah already tugged her hand, making space (by inching closer to Carter) for Eliza to sit next to her. Carter sighed when he saw that Eliza would be playing the game and looked at Austin and me as if to communicate that as far as she was concerned, we weren't there. If I'd ever asked for proof that the universe hates me . . . well, there it was. "Come on, Nick," said Jeff, "We're waiting." "This isn't really my game," I answered. Let's go, I tried to signal to Eliza. "That's a lie," said Carter. I debated leaving Eliza there. She was a big girl, and I had other people to talk to. We didn't have to be everywhere together. "Mags, you know we can't play without you," said Austin, "Everyone wants to kiss Nick Maguire." "Aaaaand Austin owes us pizza," said Carter. Austin just laughed. "Two pizzas," I corrected. "One from earlier." I took the space between Jeff and one of the girls I'd seen around but didn't really know. Though I should have, since she might have been at our soccer game? I forget. There was no way this would end well. First, the group itself had some really weird mojo, where Carter was with Hannah, even though he swore it wasn't going to happen. Madison kept staring at them, looking like she was going to have a panic attack. Austin kept staring at her and look ing like he might panic himself. Also, spin the bottle is a stupid game for sixth graders. It's basically a recipe for mono. Like, freaking go ask the girl out that you want to kiss. It's not that hard. Jeff clapped so loudly and enthusiastically, it was clear that having us here meant a lot to him. This better not ruin my life, Karvotsky. A guy can dream, right? We started out with just the cheek. Jeff went first, it being his party and all, and landed on some junior girl I didn't really know. I think. I wasn't really paying attention. Then Austin's bottle landed towards some other girl and Madison didn't even flinch. A second, sinking feeling added to my mix of wary emotions. The voodoo in the room was palpable. Pretty soon, Madison gave a dramatic yawn. "Boring. Let's kick it up a notch PLEASE. Lips, three seconds." I actually scooched back, trying to sneak away, when Robert Maxin grabbed onto my ankle. "If I have to be here, you have to be here," he said. "Boooo," I said.