Chapter 97: Beneath the Surface

Seraphine's POV

"Stop that."

Cordelia's voice cut through my spiral. Sharp. Final.

I looked up. She was glaring at me now. Actually glaring.

"This self-pity bullshit." She leaned forward. "You think you're the first person to struggle? To feel like an outsider?"

My mouth opened. Closed.

"Every single thing you just listed?" She ticked them off on her fingers. "Those are part of adapting. Part of learning. Part of becoming pack."

"But people died—"

"Yes. They did." Her voice went hard. "And that fucking sucks. But it's not because you exist. It's because Damien is a psychotic bastard who can't let you go."

I shook my head.

"Vespera wanted me gone. She said—"

"Fuck what Vespera said." Cordelia's eyes blazed. "That bitch poisoned your bread. Made pups sick. Then had the audacity to show up at Ember's funeral and demand we throw you out?"

My breath caught.

Cordelia wasn't done. "She doesn't give a shit about pack safety. She wants you gone because she's terrified."

"Of what?"

"Of losing her position." Cordelia's lip curled. "She's been sniffing around Kaelen for years. Thinks she should be Luna. Thinks she deserves to stand beside him."

The words hit like ice water.

"But you're his mate." Cordelia's voice dropped. Vicious. "His true mate. And that terrifies her. Because no matter how hard she tries, she'll never have what you do."

I stared at her.

"So she's doing everything she can to make you leave." Cordelia's hands clenched into fists. "Poison. Public humiliation. Turning pack members against you. All of it designed to break you down until you run."

My throat closed up.

"And you know what pisses me off most?" Cordelia leaned back. "It's working. You're sitting here questioning whether you belong. Whether you deserve protection. Whether you should just leave."

Guilt twisted in my chest.

"That woman is not fit to be Luna." Cordelia's voice went cold. "A real Luna protects pack members. Especially vulnerable ones. She doesn't try to drive them out to secure her own status."

The truth of it settled over me. Heavy. Undeniable.

"I just—" My voice cracked. "I don't know how to do this."

"Do what?"

"Be part of something." I gestured vaguely. "I've been alone for so long. It's easier that way."

Cordelia's expression softened slightly. "Is it though?"

I thought about it. Really thought about it.

Being alone had kept me safe. Protected. No one could hurt me if I didn't let them close.

But it had also been... empty.

"I like being alone," I said quietly. "I do. But—"

I stopped. Swallowed hard.

"But?"

"But I also like talking to you." The words came out small. Vulnerable. "I like having tea in the garden. I like that you bring me scones."

Cordelia smiled. Genuine. Warm.

"When I was in Silverwood, I didn't have friends." I picked at the grass. "Except Lyralei. Everyone else kept their distance."

"That sounds lonely."

"It was." I looked up at the sky. Clouds drifting. "I convinced myself I preferred it. That I was better off alone."

"And now?"

Now I wanted to belong.

The realization hit hard. Unexpected.

I wanted Shadowmere to accept me. Not just tolerate my presence, but actually want me here.

I wanted pack bonds. Community. A place where I fit.

"I want to stay," I whispered. "I want this to be home."

Cordelia reached over. Squeezed my hand.

"Then fight for it." Her voice was fierce. "Don't let Vespera or anyone else drive you away. You belong here."

I nodded. Throat tight.

"I need to go handle some Gamma duties." Cordelia stood, brushed grass from her pants. "But I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay."

She picked up the basket. Paused. "Seraphine?"

"Yeah?"

"You're stronger than you think." She smiled. "Don't forget that."

Then she was gone.

I sat there for a while. Processing. Feeling.

Maybe I couldn't control what other people thought of me. Maybe some wolves would always resent my presence.

But I could control how I responded.

I could stay. Fight. Prove myself.

And maybe—eventually—this could be home.

Even if I never fully belonged, I could have peace here. Safety. Cordelia's friendship.

That was enough.

It had to be enough.

---

I spent another hour in the garden before exhaustion hit.

Dirt under my nails. Sweat on my back. Muscles aching from kneeling.

But my mind felt clearer. Lighter.

I gathered my tools. Put them away in the shed.

The sun was setting now. Orange and pink bleeding across the sky.

I walked toward the river. The one that ran along the eastern edge of the garden.

My favorite spot.

I pulled off my boots. Then my socks. Wiggled my toes in the grass.

The river was cold this time of year. Snowmelt from the mountains.

But I didn't care.

I stripped off my shirt. My pants. Underwear.

Stood naked on the riverbank.

The evening air raised goosebumps on my skin. My nipples tightened.

I waded in.

Fuck. Cold.

But also exactly what I needed.

I dunked my head under. Let the current pull at my hair.

When I surfaced, I scrubbed at my arms. My legs. Washing away dirt and sweat and the weight of the day.

The water numbed my fingers. Made my muscles ache.

But my chest felt warm. Alive.

I floated on my back. Stared at the darkening sky.

This was mine. This moment. This peace.

No one could take it from me.

Then I felt it.

That pull. Deep in my chest. In my bones.

The mate bond.

He was close.

I stood up. Water streaming off my body.

Turned toward the shore.

Kaelen stood there. At the river's edge.

His eyes were locked on me. Wide. Shocked.

Then they shifted. Darkened.

Gold flashed in the depths.

"What the fuck are you doing?" His voice came out rough. Barely controlled.

I tilted my head. "Bathing."

"You're naked."

"Yes."

His jaw clenched. "Any male could walk by. Could see you."

I shrugged. "So?"

"Then I would gouge out their eyes."

He moved so fast I barely tracked it. One second on the shore. The next in the water beside me.

His hands clamped around my wrists. Pulled me toward him.

I met his eyes. Steady. "You had Jason and Derek watching me for weeks before." My voice went sharp. "Were you planning to gouge out their eyes too?"

His grip tightened. "That was different."

"How?"

"They were protecting you." His eyes blazed. "Not—not this."

"I don't care if someone sees me."

That was the last straw.

He moved again. Faster. Pushed me backward until my spine hit the large rock at the river's edge.

His body pressed against mine. Wet. Hard. Burning despite the cold water.

One hand released my wrist. Slid up to grip the back of my neck.

His thumb found my pulse point. Pressed.

"You think I'll let any male touch what's mine?" His lips brushed my ear. Voice dark. Possessive.

My breath caught.

The mate bond roared to life. Fire in my veins. Electricity under my skin.

Every point where our bodies touched felt like burning.

His chest against my breasts. His thigh between my legs. His hand on my neck.

I should push him away.

Should tell him to back off.

Should—

His thumb stroked my pulse. Slow. Deliberate.

My body betrayed me. Trembled. Arched toward him.

"You're shaking." His voice held dark satisfaction. "Cold?"

No.

Not cold.

The opposite of cold.

My breathing came faster. Shallower.

Each inhale pressed my breasts harder against his chest.

The bond pulled. Demanded. Screamed.

His eyes met mine. Gold completely drowning out the black now.

"Tell me to stop." His voice was barely human. "Tell me to let you go."

I opened my mouth.

Nothing came out.

His grip on my neck tightened fractionally. "Say it, Seraphine."

I couldn't.

Didn't want to.

The realization crashed through me.

I wanted this. Wanted him.

His other hand slid down. Gripped my hip.

We stood there. Frozen. Teetering on the edge of something irreversible.

The last light of sunset painted the water gold and crimson.

His thumb kept stroking. Steady. Hypnotic.

"Mine," he growled again. "Say it."