Chapter 37: Shattered Trust
Seraphine's POV
Cordelia anger had settled into a terrifying silence.
She just stood there. Staring at me with those amber eyes.
Disappointed. She's fucking disappointed.
And somehow, that hurt more than anything Kaelen had done tonight.
"Sit down."
Not a request. A command.
My jaw clenched. I'm not your—
But a fresh spike of pain shot through my shoulder. Reminder that I was bleeding. Still bleeding.
Fuck.
I sat on the edge of the bed. The oversized shirt sticky with blood against my skin.
Cordelia moved to the medical kit. Her movements were mechanical. Cold.
She won't even look at me properly.
She pulled out supplies. Antiseptic. Bandages. Gauze.
More than I'd had access to earlier.
"This will hurt."
Flat statement. No comfort offered.
She reached for my shoulder. I flinched back instinctively.
"Don't." Her voice was ice. "You wanted to escape. To be alone. This is what alone feels like."
Ouch.
I forced myself to stay still as she peeled away my makeshift bandage.
The shirt fabric had stuck to the wound. Blood dried in places.
She ripped it off.
"Fuck—"
Pain exploded. White-hot. Blinding.
I bit down on my tongue. Tasted copper.
Don't scream. Don't give her the satisfaction—
Cordelia worked in silence. Cleaning the wound with efficient, brutal movements.
No gentleness. No reassurance.
Just cold, professional efficiency.
Like I was a job. Not a person.
This is what I deserve. This is what betrayal earns you.
The antiseptic burned. I sucked in sharp breaths through my teeth.
My nails dug into the mattress.
Cordelia wrapped the wound. Tight. Secure.
Her hands never shook. Never hesitated.
She's done this before. Many times.
The whole process took maybe ten minutes.
Felt like hours.
When she finished, she stepped back. Started packing up the medical kit.
Still hadn't said a word beyond that initial warning.
The silent treatment. Great. Just fucking great.
I opened my mouth to speak—
She pulled something from her pocket.
Two things.
"Kaelen told me to return these." Her voice was flat. Empty.
She threw them onto the bed beside me.
---
The lavender sachet.
The note.
Both landing in a small heap on the blood-stained sheets.
My throat tightened.
"Keep them," Cordelia said. Voice still flat. "Or throw them away. I don't care."
The words were casual. Dismissive.
But I heard the hurt underneath.
She does care. That's why she's so angry.
"Cordelia, I—"
"Save it."
She turned away. Started organizing the medical supplies with sharp, angry movements.
Say something. Anything—
But what could I say?
I'm sorry I tried to escape the people who saved my life?
Sorry I don't trust you enough to stay?
Sorry I'm exactly as selfish as you think I am?
The silence stretched. Heavy. Suffocating.
---
Cordelia closed the medical kit with a sharp snap.
"Kaelen's already increased security around the house." Her back still to me. "There are guards on every exit."
Of course there are.
"You won't make it past the front door."
"You can't keep me locked up forever—"
She turned. Those amber eyes burning. "You want to try again? Go ahead. But the consequences..."
She paused. Something dangerous in her expression.
"You won't like them."
Is that a threat?
"I need to find my sister—"
"If I were your sister—" Cordelia's voice went quiet. Deadly. "—and I knew you betrayed the people who saved your life because you wanted to find me?"
She shook her head.
"I'd rather you didn't come looking."
The words hit like a punch.
That's not— I didn't—
But wasn't it true?
I was planning to leave. Despite everything they'd done.
Despite the risks they'd taken.
Betrayal. That's what she'd called it.
Is that what this is?
My throat burned. Eyes stinging.
Don't cry. Don't you fucking dare cry—
"Think about that," Cordelia said. Moving toward the door. "When you're planning your next escape attempt."
She paused at the threshold. Looked back one last time.
The disappointment in her eyes was crushing.
"I really thought you were about to join us, Seraphine."
Then she was gone.
The door slammed.
The lock clicked.
Footsteps fading down the hallway.
And I was alone.
---
I sat there. Staring at the closed door.
The lavender sachet sat beside me. Still faintly fragrant.
The note crumpled in my fist.
They were so kind. All of them.
Marge with her delicate gift and warm smiles.
Cordelia showing me around town. Teaching me about pack traditions. Defending me to Kaelen.
Even Kaelen himself. Cold, ruthless Kaelen.
He decided to lie to Old John. Risked breaking the treaty.
To protect me.
And I'd repaid them by escaping in the night.
Fuck.
Guilt twisted in my stomach. Sharp. Painful.
Maybe she's right. Maybe I am selfish.
I smoothed out the note. Read it again.
"Thank you for your kindness."
Meaningless. That's what Cordelia had called my words.
Looking at them now—I couldn't argue.
Words were easy. Actions were what mattered.
And my actions said: I don't trust you. I don't want to stay.
Even though you saved my life.
I picked up the sachet. Brought it to my nose.
Lavender. Gentle. Soothing.
For stress.
A bitter laugh escaped me.
Stress. Yeah. That's one word for it.
---
I tried to sleep.
Couldn't.
My shoulder throbbed. A constant, pulsing reminder.
But worse than the physical pain was the chaos in my head.
You betrayed them.
You're selfish.
Stupid.
Cordelia's voice. Over and over.
I stared at the ceiling. Watching shadows dance in the moonlight.
Am I? Am I really just running away?
Or am I doing what I have to do?
The bond pulsed. Faint but there.
Kaelen's presence on the other edge. Distant. Blocked.
He's in pain. Because of the mark.
Because of me.
I touched my neck. The original bite. His mark.
If I die, he dies.
Cordelia's words echoed: "The mark binds you."
So I'm not just risking myself. I'm risking him too.
After everything he'd done. The lies. The protection.
Is that fair?
My chest tightened.
I don't know. I don't fucking know.
---
Hours passed.
The house settled into silence.
I lay there. Mind spinning.
Why did I try to run?
Lyralei. To find Lyralei.
My little sister. Out there somewhere.
Alone. Scared. Maybe hurt.
She needs me.
That thought had driven me. Given me purpose.
I have to find her. Nothing else matters.
But now—lying here in the dark—doubt crept in.
Does it matter if I'm dead?
Does it matter if Kaelen dies because of me?
Cordelia's voice: "You'll be dead in a week."
Maybe she's right. I barely survived the forest.
Without their help, I'd already be—
The thought made me sick.
Died from that fucking lynx. Or worse.
They saved me. And I tried to run.
Guilt churned in my stomach.
---
I thought about the dinner. Last night.
When Orion had reported back about Old John.
Kaelen had made the decision. Deliberately. Coldly.
"Tell him we'll assist searching. But we have no leads."
Ordering Orion to lie. To hide the truth.
Risking the treaty. Risking Council involvement.
For me.
And Cordelia. The way she'd defended me to Kaelen.
"Give her a chance. She's been through hell."
They trusted me.
I looked at the sachet again. The note.
They welcomed me. Like I belonged.
Something twisted in my chest. Painful. Confusing.
Did I belong? Do I?
Can I?
Just survival. Just running.
From Machalar and Damien. From human hunters. From that lynx by the river.
What if I could stay? What if this could be—
I cut the thought off.
No. I can't think like that.
I have a sister to find. A debt to repay.
Damien. Machalar.
The bastards who'd taken everything.
They'll pay. I swear it.
But that small voice in the back of my head whispered:
Can you do it alone?
---
Dawn crept through the window.
Pale light. Cold.
I hadn't slept. Not really.
Just lay there. Trapped in my own head.
So what do I do?
Stay here? Trapped? While Lyralei suffers?
Or leave? Risk everything—including Kaelen's life?
No answer came.
Just more questions.
More guilt.
I clutched the lavender sachet. The scent filling my lungs.
I thought I was doing the right thing.
But now...
The bond pulsed. Faint but steady.
Kaelen was alive. Somewhere in this house.
Because of the mark.
The mark I tried to run from.
Cordelia's disappointment. Marge's kindness. Lyralei's face.
All swirling together in my head. Impossible to separate.
I'm so tired. So fucking tired.
Of running. Of fighting. Of not knowing what's right.
The lavender scent wrapped around me. Gentle. Persistent.
My eyes grew heavy. Finally.
Tomorrow. I'll figure it out tomorrow.