Chapter 31 CHAPTER 31: Moral Dilemma
Hazel
It was my second day at the hospital. Doctor Alex had come in earlier to inform me that I would have to be in close monitoring until he was certain I was good enough to be discharged.
A dull throb pulsed in my lower abdomen, a constant reminder of the fall. The pain medication coursing through my system did little to quell the pains wracking my body. Every movement, even a shallow breath, sent jolts of protest through me, leaving me weak and yearning for relief.
Then my mind drifted to the awkward scene that happened yesterday between Adam and Williams. The memory played on a loop, a tangled mess of emotions I couldn't quite untangle. Then, as if summoned by my thoughts, the door creaked open and Adam appeared in the doorway with a bouquet of lily flowers and a big smile.
"Hey Hazel," his voice was warm and comforting. He pushed the door shut with his foot; the bouquet was held carefully in front of him.
The scent hit me like a rogue wave the moment Adam rounded the corner. It wasn't just his usual cologne, a comforting blend of spice and something citrusy. Today, it mingled with the sweet cloying aroma of the lilies he held, curdling in my stomach like sour milk.
I felt the vomit coming up to my throat. Even with the throbbing pain in my head, I lurched from the bed, then ran to the bathroom and clutched the toilet as if my life depended on it as dry heaves racked my body, each one a tiny hammer blow to my already pulsing head.
I sat on the floor after emptying my stomach as a searing pain racked my head. Adam appeared in the bathroom door, storming in like he was ready to fight a war for me, and his eyes went wide as he stared at me clutching the toilet like I was making sweet love to it.
“I’m fine” I managed in a squeaky voice. His panicked expression softened “What can I do to help”? “Water Please” I replied.
He went back into the room and grabbed a bottle of water and handed it over. As he stepped into the room and tried to make me stand, I felt another wave coming. I dug and buried my head again in the toilet, puking my guts out.
“Should I call the doctor’? " He asked as I nodded, but he did not move.
After I was done arranging myself, Adam helped me to my feet, but my legs refused to carry me as my head felt heavy and throbbed like it was going to fall off. I leaned on Adams, but he took me in his arms as if I weighed nothing and I wrapped my arms around him. Then he deposited me on the bed and stepped out, then came back with the doctor.
“You look terrible” he said while the doctor did his examination.
“Well, thank you, Adam, u don’t look bad yourself “I replied, feigning a smile. He chuckled and found my hands, took it to his lips and kissed the inside of my palm.
Then he sat on my bed, leaned over and dropped a kiss on my forehead before pushing back my hair. His eyes were warm and dreamy as he looked at me long and hard with that same blank expression of yesterday.
The doctor finished his examination then turned to me.
“It’s just morning sickness and yours seem to be a bit peculiar” the doctor spoke
“Morning sickness? I looked at the doctor, then turned to Adam, who tried to avert his gaze. The doctor looked between us.
“You didn’t tell her”? He turned to Adam.
“Tell me what”? I asked, panic creeping into my voice.
“Well, Hazel, you are pregnant” the doctor announced, as it was not news,
The world seemed to tilt on its axis. Pregnant? The word echoed in my mind; a foreign concept that suddenly felt monumental. I hadn't planned on this, hadn't even considered it a possibility. A wave of emotions washed over me – shock, disbelief, a sliver of fear quickly replaced by a warmth that bloomed in my chest as I realized a tiny life, nestled safely inside her.
I turned to the doctor; my voice thick with emotion. "Are you sure? I wasn't..." I trailed off, unsure how to articulate the jumble of thoughts swirling in my head.
Dr. Alex squeezed my hand gently. "Quite sure, Hazel. The scans were very clear. This little one is about five weeks along."
Then my mind started the calculation. Five weeks ago, I had only slept with Adam. A bile rose in my throat as the realization hit me. My eyes darted to Adam, who was looking at me intently with a blank expression on his face.
"This is…" I began searching for the right words. "Unexpected,".
Dr. Alex chuckled. "Life has a way of throwing surprises our way, doesn't it? But sometimes, the best surprises are the ones we never saw coming." At his words a chill ran through me as the dread settled in my stomach. I turned away from Adam’s gaze and coiled into myself. My mind whirled to Williams. What if it was Williams? What if the doctor was mistaken? What was going through Adam's mind?
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I spun around. The doctor had left. I felt tears prick my eyes as I looked up at him. His eyes held a lot of questions that I was not ready to answer. Then I said the first thing that came to mind.
“It’s not yours, I slept with my husband” The confession hung in the air and my heart sank when I saw the color drain from his face.
He looked like someone had ripped the rug from under him, the air knocked clean out of his lungs. His hand instinctively flew to his chest, clutching it like it might shatter into a million pieces. He rubbed the spot absently, as if trying to ease the physical manifestation of the pain that flickered across his features. The sight of it tore at me. The raw vulnerability in his eyes was a stark contrast to the strong, confident man I knew. I wanted to reach out, to offer comfort, or maybe even an explanation, but the words wouldn't come. Shame and guilt intertwined in my gut, forming an iron knot that choked any rational thought.
"You might have slept with your husband," he said, his jaw clenched tight, "but you cannot deny that the baby inside your womb is mine." His voice was cold.
Tears streamed down my face, blurring his stoic features. "You can't prove that, Adam, not until the baby is born," I choked out, each word a betrayal. I was so distracted by the whole accident that I forgot to take precautions to avoid a situation like this…how could I forget…” My voice trailed off, the weight of the situation crushing me.
He stood abruptly, his eyes a storm brewing behind them. "Don't you dare call what we shared a mistake, Haze! What we had... what we still have! You don't even care about Williams, do you?"
"I love him, Adam," the words tasted like ash in my mouth.
A laugh, ragged and raw, escaped his lips. "No, you don't. You love me, Haze. You can't deny it. You don't even care about him." He dropped to his knees, his touch sending shivers down my spine, a stark contrast to the ice in his eyes.
"Haze, you love me, right?" he pleaded, his voice thick with desperation. His gaze searched mine, searching for a truth I couldn't give him.
My heart thudded against my ribs. I felt like a frantic bird trapped in a cage. I had no option but to face the consequences of my impulsive action. With a trembling hand, I snatched my own back, the movement abrupt, desperate.
"I love my husband," I whispered, “and this baby is his." My voice cracked, betraying the turmoil within.
His eyes, once pleading, hardened with a chilling resolve. "You don't mean that," he rasped, his voice a low growl. "I know you don't."
"I love you," he choked out, the words laced with a desperation that mirrored my own.
“I want to be alone Adam” I said as I watched him flinch
Then Adam turned to me with a stoic expression on his face. Gone was the man who moments ago held me with such tenderness. "Look at me, sweetheart," he commanded, his voice low and dangerous. Ignoring my wince, he cupped my face with both hands, his grip surprisingly tight.
“If you think for one second that I’m going to give up on you or give up my child, then you are sorely mistaken. I will fight you to the end. I promise you that'' Then he held my gaze for a beat too long, the intensity of his stare burning a hole into my soul. Then, with a final, brutal push that sent me reeling back against the pillows, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Fear, cold and sharp, clawed its way up my throat. This was the Adam I didn't know, the Adam I never wanted to meet. And the worst part? His words hung heavy in the air, a chilling promise of a fight to come. A fight for me, for the baby.