That was a question I still asked myself. Back then, I'd told Alessandra she was being paranoid. That she was letting her imagination run away with her. But now? I honestly didn't know. But that wasn't something I needed her to worry about. "No," I told Sera. "He barely knew her." Not that that mattered. "But he didn't trust her because she was an outsider, as he put it."
I thought she was going to ask me more, like if it was true that I'd killed her, but then she changed the subject. "And what about your son?"
Elliot's dark curly hair, chubby face, and big, dark eyes flashed in front of my face. He was always a good boy, even when he was a baby. A happy boy. And he loved me. A love I wasn't sure I deserved. But as soon as he started walking, every time he saw me, he'd run to me and throw his little arms around my neck, even if I just stepped outside to make a call. I could still hear his giggles. And the way he begged me for "one more tickles" when I'd tuck him in at night, while his mother stood in the doorway and smiled.
"I'm sorry," Sera said, interrupting my memories. "You don't have to talk about him if it's too hard."
Glancing down at her, I was surprised to see tears in her eyes, and I wondered what it was she saw in my own. "He was a good boy," I said quietly. "Sweet. With dark curls and chubby cheeks." I watched, fascinated, as one of the tears escaped to run slowly down her cheek. "He was my whole world," I whispered, letting the pain wash over me. I didn't allow it to happen often, too afraid I would drown in it and never be able to fight my way up to the surface again.
She squeezed one arm up between us to cup my cheek in her palm, and I gripped it in my own, holding it there and turning my head to kiss the center, then the inside of her wrist, as the agony of losing my only child twisted and churned inside of me, gutting me alive until I lost my breath. The way it always did when I allowed myself to think about him.
"Enzo…"
I heard a similar pain in her voice. But I didn't want her to hurt. I didn't want to share this agony with her. Didn't want anything to dim the sunshine that radiated from her to warm my cold, dead heart. "Don't," I ordered.
Releasing her hand, I wrapped my fingers in her wet hair and tugged her head back, bringing her lush mouth to mine. She tasted like tea and honey and I moaned, delving my tongue deeper into her sweetness.
Instantly, my cock grew hard. So hard I thought it was going to punch right through my slacks. I welcomed the distraction of her body as she pressed herself against me, needing somewhere to focus the pain before it suffocated me. Needing to release it.
Bending my knees, I wrapped one arm beneath her round ass and lifted her, breaking off the kiss as I looked around frantically for somewhere out of the view of the house. A covered seating area was off to my right where the roof of the house extended out to cover the deck. I took her over there as she clung to my neck and wrapped her legs around my hips.
There were no cushions on the chairs as Texas was heading into the cold season, but I barely felt the chill in the air as I pressed her against the side of the house, careful to keep the thick towel between her and the stone. I felt nothing but the heat of her body warming my cold soul. As soon as we were out of sight, I reached between us and freed my cock from my pants and buried myself inside of her, crying out against her shoulder when her wet pussy gripped me tight.
"Oh, god…Enzo…"
I took her hard and fast, right there against the house, our faces tucked against each other's shoulders to muffle the sounds we made until I bucked against her, my orgasm hitting me like a fucking earthquake. I emptied myself inside of her, then dropped to my knees, draping one of her legs over my shoulder to open her wide and putting my mouth on her. I could taste my semen and her desire as I found her clit with my tongue and slid two fingers inside of her, curling them until I found the spot that drove her wild.
Within seconds, Sera's fingers tightened in my hair as her entire body tensed and she came with hard pulses of her inner muscles, drenching my fingers even more, her breathy cries making me hard again.
She moaned as I slowly pulled my fingers out and licked them clean. Then I kissed the inside of her thigh, feeling the abrasions beneath my hand and kissing them, too. I looked up, hoping she could see the apology in my eyes.
She stood over me with parted lips, the towel draping open, revealing her soft belly, full breasts, and hardened nipples that rose and fell with every ragged breath, the expression on her face one I wanted to see every fucking day.
There was so much I wanted to say. But none of it would matter. Not now.
A small gust of cold air blew over us and goosebumps spread across her smooth skin. I immediately stood and pulled the towel closed around her again, then tucked myself back into my pants. "Come on." Tucking her against my side, I led her into the house. The smell of Italian sausage and tomato sauce hit my nose and made my stomach grumble as we hurried across the great room and up the stairs. Amazingly, we managed to get inside our room with the door closed before anyone saw us.
Grabbing her hand as she tried to walk away, I told her, "I need to tell you something."
She looked down at my hand gripping hers and then up at me with a questioning look on her face.
"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for being so caught up in my own shit last night that I failed to notice I was hurting you." I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles. "It won't happen again."
"Stop apologizing. You didn't hurt me, Enzo. The tree did." Though her words were teasing, there was no amusement in her eyes.
But I wouldn't apologize for taking her in front of my men. She needed to learn that what she had done-running from me the way she had-was not acceptable. I stepped in front of her and pressed my forehead to hers. "I would do anything for you, Serafina. But I cannot allow you to disrespect me in front of my men."
"I wasn't disrespecting you. I was saving myself."
I will save you, I promised silently.
I'll save us both.