Serafina
I knew there would be some pain the first time I had sex. I knew because
I'd read about it. And because I'd snuck a vibrator into my room once. A college classmate who I'd gotten to be friends with had snuck one to me when she found out I'd never been with a boy. But when I tried to use it, I'd been so nervous, and it had hurt so much I'd finally given up and hid the damn thing deep in my closet. So yes, I knew losing my virginity would hurt, but I never thought it would hurt like that.
However, it wasn't just the physical pain I cried from. It was the shock that he would do what he did, knowing it hurt me, like he didn't even care.
Clenching my teeth to keep my jaw from quivering, I closed my eyes tight, fighting back tears as Enzo ran his fingers up the crack of my ass to my pussy, collecting the remnants of his ejaculation and pushing it back inside of me. He hadn't worn a condom, and although I was on birth control to regulate my periods, I never thought to ask him if he was clean. I was stupid to think he would be considerate enough to protect me. "You didn't wear a condom." I couldn't keep the accusation from my voice.
"No," was all he said.
I covered my face with my hands and tried to roll to my side so I could hide my naked body from his burning eyes. But he clamped his hands down on my legs, just above my knees, and held me spread out beneath him. His thumb rubbed the inside of my thigh, pressing gently on the bruise there until I winced.
"Who left these marks on you, Sera?"
Although he didn't raise his voice, I could hear the barely controlled rage he tried to contain within it. I dropped my hands and opened my eyes to find him studying my face as he waited for an answer. Seeing him there, kneeling between my legs like some kind of masculine god, I almost forgot about the soreness between my legs. But his dark eyes burned through me, searing me down to the bone as he waited for my answer. I blinked a few times before I could speak. "I'm not going to tell you. Ever. So please stop asking me."
"You need to tell me."
"Why?"
He didn't respond. But he didn't have to. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know. I finally relented enough to say, "It was just a guy at the club who drank too much. He doesn't deserve to be punished."
"He hurt you. He deserves everything I want to do to him."
This time, it was my turn to be silent. The guy was an ass, but he didn't deserve to die the horrible death I could see in Enzo's eyes. I pulled the edge of the comforter up over me, half expecting him to deny me even that small comfort. But he didn't. I was shaking, but not from the cold. I felt exposed. Vulnerable. And underneath it all, there was hurt that he'd caused me so much pain and didn't appear to care at all. He was too obsessed with finding out who had dared to touch his "property."
But I was not okay. He frowned and reached for me, then pulled me up into his arms as I tried to drag the comforter up with me. He lifted me easily onto his lap, my knees on either side of his legs. The position made my pussy throb with aftershocks of pain, and a whimper escaped my throat. "Shhh..." he soothed as he held me. "I am sorry, baby. I never wanted to hurt you like that."
"Then why did you?" My voice was muffled from the quilt I was trying to hide behind. Were all men this unfeeling when it came to sex? Taking what they wanted with no consideration for the person they were taking it from?
His chest rose and fell against mine as he took a deep breath, and I felt his hand on the back of my head, smoothing down my hair. "I just... I'm so sorry I hurt you. That wasn't my intention." He paused. "I lost control. And I can't promise you it won't happen again, but I can promise it won't hurt like that again."
The emotions I'd desperately been trying to quell burst forth on a pathetic sob.
"Hey now... hey." He pulled me up tighter against him. I gave up trying to hang onto the quilt and wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his shoulder. It was fucked up, I know, seeking comfort from the very person who had caused me such anguish. But despite everything that had just happened, his arms felt good around me. I felt safe. And before he shoved his dick inside of me, he'd made me feel good. So fucking good. He hadn't known I'd never been with anyone before. Maybe there was no helping the rest of it, I continued to rationalize. Maybe it would've only made it worse if he'd gone slow. It was better to just do it and get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid. "It won't be like that next time?"
"No, baby. It won't ever hurt like that again."
He held me tight as I hid with my face buried between his neck and shoulder. When the throbbing pain began to subside to a fluttering twinge and my tears dwindled down to sniffles, Enzo lifted up onto his knees and backed off the bed, taking me with him. Not ready to give up my hiding spot just yet, I wrapped my legs around his waist and tightened my arms around his neck. His low moan of satisfaction and pleasure caused the muscles low in my stomach to tighten with need.
I felt him walking across the room, and then he was setting me down on the closed toilet seat in the ensuite bathroom.
"Let go, baby girl."
Reluctantly, I released my death grip on his neck and dropped my arms down to my sides. Keeping my head down, I wrapped one arm around my breasts and let my other arm fall to cover the dark curls between my legs.
"Uh uh. Don't do that." Sitting on his heels in front of me, Enzo took my hands in his and opened my arms. "Don't hide from me." With a finger under my chin, he gently lifted my face until I was forced to meet his eyes. As soon as I did, I was hit with so many emotions I couldn't help but veer back to try to lessen the impact. But he shook his head. "Don't try to push me away, Sera. Don't do that to me."
"I'm not doing anything," I whispered. "I just..." How to put into words all of the things I was feeling right now? And did I even want to?
"Just what?"
I glanced up at him and then looked away, unable to take the intensity behind his gaze right now. "I've never been with someone like this, and it has me a bit... shook."
He studied my face for a long moment. "Okay," he finally said. "I can understand that." Then he rose to his feet and walked over to the tub, turning on the water.
"What are you doing?" I asked stupidly.
"Running a bath."
"Why?"
He didn't respond, he just sat on the side of the tub, completely comfortable in his nudity, and tested the temperature of the water with his hand. When he was satisfied, he turned to face me, resting his elbows on his knees. Once again, I was struck by how utterly beautiful he was, in a terrifying kind of way, and I couldn't keep myself from running my eyes over him with hungry appreciation.
Enzo was a big guy, with lean strips of muscle running beneath his skin, but not so much that he looked off balance like a bodybuilder. No, Enzo was strong, but not from lifting weights. Or maybe not just from lifting. To my untrained eye, he was built like a fighter. Lean and hard, without an ounce of fat on him. His left pec, shoulder, and upper arm were covered in black tribal tattoos. On his upper right arm was a dragon done in a similar style. And following the "V" of his right hip were words written in Italian. And although I spoke a little of the language, I'd only caught a glimpse of them and couldn't make out what they said.
"Because I need you to relax, and I don't want you to be sore."
My face burned. "Oh." Which meant he would want to take me again, and soon. I forced myself to meet his eyes. "What if I don't want to do that again?"