Chapter 35 Chapter Thirty-Five
We grab plates, forks, and cups. We set the small table in the kitchen that only seats four. There is no point in setting the big table in the dining room for just the four of us. Plus, I want to feel closer to my guys. Shortly after setting the table, Reece and Raikin are done cooking.
We take our time eating, partially because I am trying to work my nerve back up. I don’t want the guys to be mad at me or upset at me for asking about Logan. What if after we talk, they decide I’m not the right girl for them?
“You’re being very quiet baby. Everything okay?” Raikin asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I clear my throat, setting my fork down on my plate. “Umm, yeah. I was just thinking about everything.”
Reece nods his head. “You ready to talk?” His voice is soft, his eyes studying my face.
I nod my head. “I guess so.”
“Just take your time baby. We will just listen.” Raikin says, grabbing my hand from across the table.
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a second. “Well, you guys already know I have never done this before.” They all nod their heads encouraging me to go on. “So, I was just thinking maybe we needed to set up some ground rules or something.”
Reece smiles at me, grabbing my other hand. “Rules sound good baby, anything specific you were thinking?”
“Well, I- I just lost my virginity like a week ago. So, I was thinking at least until I get to know you guys better, and we see how this is going to go with each other we should take sex off the table. At least for now.” I say practically whispering, unsure of how they are going to react.
Reece squeezes my hand. “That sounds like a great idea baby. We don’t want to pressure you in to anything, sexual or otherwise. We know you need time to get to know us. There is no rush, we can take things as slow as you need us to.”
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “You guys aren’t mad?” I ask looking around at each of them.
Raikin laughs, surprising me. “Of course we aren’t mad. Nothing you say or ask us will make us mad.”
Ryder and Reece nod their heads in agreement. “Is sex the only thing you were worried about?” Reece asks looking at me concerned.
I shake my head no. “I don’t know how to ask this next question.” I say looking down at the table.
Ryder puts his hand on my wrist. “It’s okay baby, ask anything that’s on your mind.”
I look over at him, smiling. “Well, I know Ryder didn’t care before, but I’m not really sure now.” Ryder’s brows furrow for a second and I raise my eye brows at him, then he nods his head in understanding.
Reece and Raikin stare at me confused. “What is it?” Reece asks after a minute.
“Is it still okay for me to be friends with Logan, Aaron, Calvin, Brandon, and Harrison? You know, now that we are all together in a relationship. I know Ryder didn’t care before, but you guys seem like you don’t really like Logan. So, I just wasn’t sure.” I say my words spilling out like word vomit.
Reece and Raikin look at each other having some kind of silent conversation. Their expressions, blank not giving anything away. After a minute they both turn and look at Ryder. Ryder has the same unreadable expression. Making it impossible to know what they are thinking. I love that they are brothers and they are close enough to have conversations without even speaking, but I can’t wait until I am able to read their minds or whatever they are doing with each other.
This silent conversation goes on for what seems like forever before they all turn to me. They make me feel self-conscious, having all three sets of eyes on me like that. When they don’t say anything, I know I messed up, I shouldn’t have brought it up.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I won’t bring them up again.” I say quickly shifting nervously in my seat, looking between the three of them.
Reece squeezes my hand, his facial expression becoming sympathetic. “No baby. No, you didn’t say anything wrong at all. We don’t want you to stop being friends with them. You can be friends with anyone you want. We will never ask you to stop being friends with any one at all.”
“Then why did it take you guys so long to answer me?” I ask confused.
Raikin is the one to answer. “Sorry sweetheart we were thinking.”
“We don’t care if you are friends with them, or if you hang out with them baby.” Ryder chimes in.
I nod my head, listening to them. “What about the-? What about the you know kissing and stuff? I know you didn’t care Ryder before when it was just me and you, but things are different now.” I feel greedy and stupid even asking. I mean I technically have three boyfriends now and here I am asking if it’s still okay for me to make out with my five other guy friends.
Ryder laughs, and I feel my cheeks heat up. “I still think it’s hot as hell baby. That’s just me though. Reece, Raikin what do you guys think?”
Reece rubs his hand on his chin, like he’s deep in thought. “It’s okay with me. No sex though, with anyone but us baby.”
I nod my head in agreement. I look at Raikin, who is looking down at where his hand is holding mine. “Do you have feelings for Logan or any of the other guys?” He asks, looking up at me.
I stare into his eyes, thinking about his question. It’s not a simple yes or no, and I am not going to lie to him. “I’m not going to lie to you, any of you.” I say looking at all three of them. “I do have feelings for them, but not the way it sounds. They were my first friends here, the first guys to ever show real interest in me. So, I don’t think I have feelings for them in a fall in love kind of way. I honestly think my feelings are more sexual attraction than anything else.”
I feel Raikin tense up. “Would you ever act on those feelings with any of them?”
“No, of course not. I would never do anything to mess this up with you guys. I know this is new, but I want this to work.” I say pulling my hand free from Reece, to grab both of Raikin’s hands in mine. “If you don’t want me to do anything with Logan and the other guys, besides be friends with him I won’t. I won’t be mad at you either. I promise.”
Raikin smiles at me, taking one of his hands out of mine, reaching across the table to cup my cheek. “It’s okay with me baby. You can do what you want with them, just no sex.”
“Are you sure?” I ask furrowing my brows. “I swear I won’t be mad if you don’t want me to do anything with them.”