Chapter 60 Regret
Like something sacred had been destroyed.
Like he had been betrayed by the world itself.
And yet… he had still pointed a gun at another man.
I buried my face in my hands.
“I don’t know who to believe anymore.”
My heart felt exhausted.
I stood slowly and leaned over the sink, staring at my reflection. My eyes were red. My lips trembled. My body looked like it had survived a war.
“This isn’t safety,” I whispered to myself. “This is chaos.”
But deep down, I knew that wasn’t fully true.
Because when Damien had grabbed me and pulled me away from Raymond, part of me had felt… safe.
And that terrified me. I couldn't go back to living with so much fear, so much toxicity, not again and in that moment as Damien held the gun to Raymond he looked so much like him.
DAMIEN
I didn’t move after she locked herself inside the bathroom. The gun was still in my hand.
I stared at it like I didn’t recognize it.
My fingers were numb. My heart was pounding so violently I thought my ribs might crack.
I had come so close. So close to becoming the monster everyone thought I already was, the monster I was made to be.
When Raymond said he kissed her, something inside me had gone dark. It wasn’t anger first.
It was pain.
A sharp, brutal pain I hadn’t felt since I was a boy. I had imagined her lips on mine.
Her trust.
Her softness.
And suddenly another man had taken that.
I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled shakily.
“I would’ve killed him,” I whispered.
That truth sat heavy in my chest. Not because Raymond deserved it. But because Jasmine had seen it. She saw the worst of me. I remembered the way her voice had cracked when she begged me to stop.
“Damien, please.”
God.
I closed my eyes.
Raymond had known exactly what he was doing.
Feigning weakness. Pretending to be the victim. Twisting words into his weapons.
"You groom girls for your clubs.
You were going to make her one of them"
That lie cut deeper than any knife.
I leaned against the wall, sliding down slowly until I was sitting outside her bathroom door.
“I never wanted that for you,” I whispered through the wood.
I had brought girls into that world. I had made terrible decisions. But Jasmine was never meant to be part of that darkness.
She was light.
She was warmth.
She was everything I didn’t deserve. When Raymond said he was the only one who wanted her…
I almost laughed.
I wanted her so badly it scared me. Not her body. Her soul, her loyalty, her heart.
And I had nearly destroyed everything by letting my rage speak instead of my love.
“I scared you,” I said softly, knowing she could hear me. “Didn’t I, tesoro?”
Silence.
That silence was worse than any scream.
“I would die before I hurt you,” I continued. “But today… I almost proved the opposite.”
"I believe you wouldn't have done anything with Raymond behind my back, I know there's an explanation, i-"
My hands trembled as I set the gun down on the floor beside me.
“I don’t know how to protect you without destroying everything around me.”
And that terrified me.
~
The house stayed silent for a long time.
Too silent.
Richelle eventually knocked gently on the bathroom door. “Jasmine… are you okay?”
“I just need a minute,” Jasmine replied weakly.
When she finally came out, her face was pale, her eyes swollen from crying.
Damien stood up immediately. But he didn’t touch her. He didn’t even step closer.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “For everything.”
She hugged herself. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
Richelle looked between them, walking to Jasmine's side and wrapping her arms around her,“This house feels dangerous right now.”
Jasmine nodded. “I need space.”
Damien swallowed hard. “You can take the suite. I’ll sleep downstairs.”
“No,” Jasmine said quietly. “I think… I need to be away from you, away from this home, it feels like a cage right now. It's suffocating me"
His chest tightened. “I don’t want you leaving.”
“I don’t want to stay afraid.”
That sentence broke him.
Richelle squeezed Jasmine’s shoulder. “Come to my place, you can stay as long as you'd like”
Jasmine hesitated, then nodded. “Okay.”
Damien watched helplessly as she grabbed a small bag from her room and began throwing close from her closet into the bag. Richelle helped, packing enough clothes to last her days. And the thought of Jasmine being away for that long sent another wave of pain through Damien.
Richelle takes the bag, her other hand around Jasmine as she guides her to the door.
Every step she took away from him felt like punishment.
At the door, she stopped. “Damien… I don’t hate you..”
Hope flickered in his eyes, for a brief moment before it was shattered
“But I don't feel safe with you right”
That hurt worse. She left with Richelle. The door closed behind them. Damien stood alone in the house.
The place that had once felt like his paradise, his tesoro's scent all over his space, her voice, now felt like an abandoned place.
He walked back to the spot where Raymond had been lying on the floor. The faint smear of blood was still there.
He stared at it, it seemed to mock him. Damien wished he could blame everything on Raymond. It was his fault, but his reaction to everything was what chased Jasmine away. His tesoro, she was afraid of him. The terror in her eyes as she begged him, she was scared, shaking but she still tried to stop him from doing something he would regret.
Damien ran a hand through his hair.
For the first time in years, Damien Blackwood felt something unfamiliar.
Regret.
And far away, in Richelle’s car, Jasmine stared out the window, holding her arms around herself, she rested against the door, silent tears slipping down her cheeks.
“I don’t know what to believe,” she whispered.