Chapter 67
There was no way we could go to a physical store because Ariel should be on bed rest, but we have a system here in our world that allows delivery to any park, and we had decided on online shopping.
Ariel had opted for more clothes to fit her size since her stomach had reduced compared to before, and I had followed suit, getting some outfits. It is not every time I get to go shopping, and she had offered to pay. I would be stupid to reject her offer.
“What do you think?” I turned the laptop to Ariel to seek her opinion since she was an expert in this area.
“Hmmm, not bad. Your style is slowly evolving.” She mused as she noticed some colorful clothes, a far contrast from my monochrome pattern.
“Yeah, I am trying out new things, and a touch of color would be nice.”
“Hmmm, maybe you should choose a dress or two. Toby is still here, and anything could happen. You don’t want to be stranded and without a dress if he eventually asks you out on a date.” This time I couldn’t hold it anymore, and I burst out in laughter, throwing my head back as the sound left my lips. “Hey, it is not funny; anything can truly happen.” Ariel tried to defend herself, but I was yet to recover from my fit.
“I don’t think you are aware of what is going on between Toby and me, Ariel. There is no hope for us, none at all, and trying to get a dress is just a waste. I would rather get pants and jeans that would be more practical.
“But you may never know; anything can happen.” She said with an assurance that made me squint my eyes in suspicion.
“Do you know something?”
“What? Me?” Her voice had a sharp, high-pitched tone that clearly indicated that she was lying, but I decided to leave it be. “Just add some dresses, okay? It would come in handy with time.”
“Fine.” I wasn’t ready to deal with her nagging, and it was better to just get it on now. With her help, I selected three dresses, and we added them to the cart, and she was satisfied.
I stayed with her long enough to see the baby awake and watch him because Ariel was still in her mama bear era, and she hadn’t gotten comfortable letting others carry her.
As I made my way back to my room, Toby appeared in the hallway, and a heavy sigh escaped my lips. I wasn’t ready for this, I was not ready to feign indifference and let him just walk past while the tension between us hung in the air like a storm cloud.
“I have been looking all over the place for you.”
“Alright.” I fold my hands, already bracing myself for what was to come. “What do you want?” My voice came out harsher than I had intended it to be, and I realized too late, but I couldn’t take it back.
“Can we take this to my room? The walls have ears, and I want this to be private.”
“No!” I yelled before I could think it through, and I gave him an apologetic look, knowing how my response might have come. But Toby and I alone, in his room? Enveloped in his scent? There was no guarantee that I wouldn’t go feral. “It is better we talk here; there is no one else on the floor save for us and the alpha, and I think they are too occupied with other things to care about us.”
His searching eyes were all over me, trying to determine if I was serious, and when I didn’t budge, he reluctantly agreed. “I was going to talk to you about our bond.”
“What about it?” I snapped, my tone haughty, but I didn’t have time to feel apologetic towards it. I know our bond hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine, but I had never had a problem with it; if he was contemplating breaking our bond, I was not going to allow it.
“I think it is time for a change.” He began, and I slowly nodded my head, but my eyes were blinking faster than the flapping of a bird's wings, trying to keep the tears at bay. I knew it was inevitable; he was going to reject me.
“What sort of change?” I deserve a pat on the back for maintaining a steady voice.
“I know our relationship hasn’t been the best, especially with this distance, but I want to try all over again.”
“What?” I yelled out, surprised that it wasn’t what I had hoped for, but that didn’t mean that I understood what he was saying. “Excuse me, but what?”
“You heard me, Maddie. I am tired of this back and forth we have going on. I understand that distance will always be an issue in our relationship, and for now, it may not be possible for anyone to forfeit their pack. But we can make it work.”
“Toby.”
“Before you reject it, just think about it. We could take a trip to each other’s pack, probably for a day or two. We are in a technological age now, and things have become easier; we could talk to each other, and I could even get to see you via video call. I understand; it is not what we want, but I am tired of not being able to talk to you. Even if I can’t have you in my arms, it is enough that I can get to talk to you.” At this point he was rambling, and I had to stop him.
“Toby. I don’t know if this can work.” I began in the most sincere voice I could muster. “It is just as you said. We can’t continue this back and forth where you come, something will happen, you go, or I come, then we fuck up, and I go. It is too much of an emotional burden to me, and I don’t think I want to be doing that always.”
“I know Maddie,” he said, trying to reach for my hands, but I evaded it. “But I don’t see any solution in hindsight for us, and we cannot continue to remain like this. I know it seems like I am doing well, but I can’t function without you; even breathing becomes a chore when you are not around. I miss you, Maddie, and Adrian misses you too.”
“I know, and so do I and Lia, but I have to think of myself. Every time you left, you would take a part of myself with you, and I would shut down. I literally can’t function, and even breathing becomes so hard. Is that how you want me to be living my life?”
“I know, but think of all we could be and do and achieve. You have to give this a chance; this is the only way I think I can get to be with you, and I want to take it.”
“I don’t know Toby.” I shook my head, refusing to let the idea take root in my mind. “It seems very stressful, and I cannot go through that again.”
“Just think about it, Maddie.” He urged, his eyes all sad and droopy, and I fought the urge to wipe the frown off his face.
“I can’t promise you that. I am here for business, and once it is over, I will be leaving. There is no guarantee that I will be able to think of anything else.”
“I know.” He reached for my hands, squeezing them gently in his, and I allowed him, unable to resist the warmth that it provided. “You don’t need to do too much; just give it some thought. It is not too late to start something.” He was looking at me with those eyes that always make me weak in the knees, and I was powerless against it.
“Alright.”
“Thank you.” His smile lit up the whole room, chasing the darkness that had been clouding me, and my heart leaped against my ribcage.
“Yeah.” I replied in a breathless voice. I cleared my throat, gently removing my hand from his hold, and made my way back to my room, but his voice kept echoing in my mind.