Chapter 90: Anonymous My mind is a sludge puddle of emotions. Guilt for what I've made Luke go through. Fear of the punishment that was waiting for us. And sadness for the argument we just had. I would do anything to reverse time and undo this terrible day. I grew up on the idea that a trusting, loyal relationship does not exist in real life. I haven't seen a single one work. But I want us to. I would love for us to be different. I don't know how stable relationships work and maybe that's obvious from the way I've acted. I've been insecure because... I've never been secure before. I don't have a stable history of relationships to build off of. Has he? I guess I have wounds I didn't even know I had. I try to think that my parents leaving me doesn't affect me... I try to think that being cheated on or teased and mocked at school doesn't affect me... But it does. It's hard to grow together. No one is perfect and, in a relationship, you start to see those imperfections. What we do, affects each other. Luke's happiness is so important to me. Even though we were fighting a few minutes before, the idea that he could get expelled terrified me. He had so much more to lose. I'd rather take the fall. I was starting to hate these hallways. Ever since I met Luke, I've wanted to run away from all of this with him. And I hate my urge to run – because I want to be the type of person that faces my own problems head on. Like he does. Luke calls it out, while I hide. I deflect and I don't recognize when I'm wrong. I lean on his strength. He's always so capable, so certain that everything will work out in the end. I admired that. Maybe I even envied that. But now I understood that, sometimes, even he needs someone to lean on. And I haven't been there for him in the same way he's been there for me. It's hard for me to realize that even strong people have their weak moments. Was I too late? I looked over at Luke, wanting to wrap my arms around him, to shelter the sensitive side that he'd shown me. But that side of him was gone. His expression was cold as he talked to the teacher who was escorting us to the principal's office. "I told you Mr Dawson, that she has to come," Mr Laghari looked frustrated, "No amount of threatening or convincing me is going to work." "I haven't gotten to the threatening part yet," Luke said. "Yet?" the teacher snapped, "Luke this isn't the time for your backhanded comments. You and your girlfriend are in a boat load of trouble and the Principal will decide what happens." Luke exhaled an audible sigh, "Just let her go. She has nothing to do with this." I warmed at that. Even though we were in a fight, Luke was still defending me. "She does," Mr Laghari said, "And like I said, I don't make the rules, so stop trying to kill the messenger." "Who else am I going to kill then?" Luke replied with a smirk. That little- Did he learn nothing from our conversation?! But hearing Mr Laghari say that we were in a boat load of trouble really sank in. Pun intended. My mind went from freaking out over my future with Luke to freaking out over our futures, period. Luke's college offer and my 'not-now-but-hopefully-one-day' college offer... Breathe, Millie, breathe Was it because they caught me drinking at school? Or was it about what Luke did to Kaden? Both? I've never been to the principal's office before. I've never been suspended before. This is not part of the plan. I don't have much of a plan, but if I did, this wouldn't be it. We stopped outside the door to the reception area. It was becoming all too real now and my thoughts went into overdrive. Where do I go if I get expelled? When Mr Laghari stopped, I stopped. Like a robot, my hands were clasped firmly by my side. I didn't move an inch. If I stand really still maybe I can blend in with the wallpaper. "Millie," Luke whispered behind me, "Breathe." He called me Millie. I wish I could hold onto him and feel the comfort of his presence behind me. I'm not sure if he wanted me to do that anymore. "Right," I exhaled. How hard can it be to breathe? I've been doing it my whole life Mr Laghari walked into the room first. There was a busy reception desk and chairs by the wall, where students sat to await their fate. There were offices on the other side. I saw the vice principal's office, the school therapist's and the largest door at the end had the word "Principal" on it. Maybe I can plead insanity? Mr Laghari used his clipboard to point us towards an unmarked room, "You can wait in here until the principal calls you in. Your parents are on their way." "You called our parents?" I repeated. Good luck finding mine I love how he thinks calling my parents is a threat. If the school can locate my parents, I'd award them a medal myself. I was way more afraid of Luke's parents than mine. His are intimidating. And they'll probably blame me for being a bad influence on their star son. Am I being salty? Probably. Mr Laghari hovered in the doorway to make sure we walked inside the room and stayed there. Luke asked him, "You want to babysit us some more or you heading out?" Mr Laghari muttered something before closing the door on us. If he wasn't trying to keep his job, I'm sure he would've cursed Luke out. Or at least tried to. Luke seemed so unaffected. How my boyfriend can go from passionate in one second to cool in the next... "Oh," I said in surprise as I noticed the others in the room, "It's a reunion." Chad, Austin, Arturo and Cearra were all sitting there.