My hair was still wet and knotty from the shower and I scraped it up into some twisted pineapple look, before hurrying out of my room. I really need to be more on top of the schedule here. ** I ran downstairs and ran straight into Austin. He was wearing a tropical print shirt, unbuttoned to show off his pecks. "Woah, what's the rush, Mill-" he stopped when he noticed my outfit, "Good look, Millie." I blushed, not used to compliments on my appearance. "Thank you, Austin." I was mindful that my hair was a mess and I had no makeup, but I appreciated Austin's compliment. We both walked into the living room. Chad was crouching by a cabinet to grab another bottle from the lowest drawer. Chad looked up as we walked in and whistled. "You dressed up." I looked around and saw that no one else was wearing a party outfit. Oma, who was the epitome of style in this house, was in a maxi dress and sandals. "It's a casual five course dinner," Chad explained, holding the bottle, "We'll change to go out after." There's no such thing as a casual five course dinner in my mind. "She'll wear whatever she wants," Luke interrupted, stepping towards me in a crisp white shirt and black trousers. His hair was still wet from the shower and his skin had tanned from a day out in the sun. He smiled at me, "You look incredible, by the way." If I blushed when Austin complimented me, I turned beetroot when Luke did. "Finally, we can eat now," Bianca exclaimed, trying to gather everyone into the dining room. "We're going to need five minutes," Luke said, before glancing back at me, "Is it OK if we talk now?" "Aren't we going to hold up dinner?" I asked. "Not if we can start on appetizers," Austin offered, somehow standing beside us as if he was a part of the conversation, "The oysters looked really good." "Yeah, it's still early. You two go ahead," Oma agreed, smiling encouragingly at me. OK, I guess I need to stop running. ** Luke and I walked down a flight of stairs to a basement floor I didn't know Chad's villa had. We passed by a glass wall that revealed an indoor swimming pool. Another door had the sign "sauna" on it. My mouth opened wider with every door we passed by. "Luke, where are we going?" I finally asked him, "Let's just talk here and get this over with." I stopped us in a small room with a glass window. It must be a waiting room of some kind, next to a few empty showers. There was also a bench with folded white towels. "Here?" Luke asked. "Since when did you get a scuba diving license?" I asked him, while I crossed my arms over my chest. It's a habit I got from him. He does that from time to time. "That's how you want to start this?" he asked, unimpressed. Was that judgement in his voice? "Maybe you want to start?" I offered, "Because I have no idea what you're thinking. I get the sense you're angry at me, but I don't know what I did." He sighed, "You didn't blackout last night." "I know what I did. I just don't know what I did to you," I replied, feeling irritated by his assumptions. He didn't say anything. He didn't want to. I could see he was debating with himself whether to be honest or not. Was that because he didn't care anymore or because he wanted to avoid a fight? Either way, it created distance between us. "Do you want a girlfriend who can keep up with you?" I asked, "Because that's not me. I don't have many friends and I'm not comfortable partying every night. You know that. You threw me into your world expecting me to swim." "I wasn't expecting that," he said, "I thought you'd have fun. My friends are your friends." He looked deflated. Then he asked, "Why are you asking me if I want a girlfriend who can keep up with me? What does that even mean?" "It means that you probably want someone who fits into your life," I said, embarrassed to be admitting this. Speaking openly to someone can really put you in a vulnerable position. I explained further, "It means that I embarrassed you last night. You enjoy this untouchable status at school and I bring that down when my actions reflect on you," I said. I know he pays attention to his image. I know he likes it when others look up to him. Who wouldn't? "No Millie," he corrected me. "You don't embarrass me. I don't want you to embarrass yourself." "Well that's a bit late," I muttered, "This is how I am." Luke shook his head. "That's a cop out. You got wasted last night to hide from your own insecurities. And I'm going to call you out on that. I'm sorry for not being more aware of your feelings and for not doing more to make you feel included, but you shouldn't drink like that. Be stronger willed." "Don't talk to me like that," I told him, "I was trying to have fun last night and I made a mistake. I agree I shouldn't drink so much but how is that a crime?" "It's not a crime. Do you think that it's fun to lose control of your senses in a foreign country? It's irresponsible. It's not cute to be falling all over the place," he said, "What if we lost you?" I didn't reply. I really couldn't. "And I know you drank because you felt insecure. What have I done to make you feel that way?" he asked, "I never want to make you feel insecure and last night I did." "Because you left me," I repeated for the fifteenth time, "You didn't pay attention to me." "Millie! I pay more attention to you than I have ever done anyone in my lifetime. For one night, I forgot that you don't like clubs. I got so comfortable and used to you hanging out with my friends that I didn't think you'd feel alone with them." "You went to dance and left me on the side!" "I was wrong to do that! I wanted to dance and you didn't. I figured we could both do what we enjoy and you seemed fine with Austin," he said, "I'm sorry I didn't think it through. I make mistakes, but so do you. You need to own up to yours. You can't go through life expecting someone to hold your hand." "I don't expect anyone to hold my hand," I argued, "Luke, do you not hear what I'm saying? I'm telling you that I don't fit in. It's hard for me. I don't even dress like them!" "Who cares how you dress?" he replied, "I hear what you're saying but you don't hear me. Who gives a f*ck what others think? You look amazing in this outfit as you did in your cartoon shirt yesterday." "It's so easy for you to say." "I know it is, but I'm telling you that it's something you need to work on. You've given me a lot of hard talks in the time we've known each other, so here's one for you. I care about you. I care about you so f*cking much and I never want to see you hurt or vulnerable like you were last night." "You were the one who hurt me too, Luke!" "I made the mistake of leaving you alone too much yesterday. It was our first night out in a group and I didn't think it through. I'm sorry, but can we agree to work on building your confidence? Let me help you work on it. I don't want you to drink through pain." That left me speechless. Down in the basement of Chad's villa, I had lost track of my words. "I know it hurts," Luke said, "Trust me, I've been there. But Minnie, you're stronger than me in so many ways. All I'm saying is that I don't think your happiness should be tied to the superficial acceptance of irrelevant people. They're irrelevant."