Chapter 16

“What’s the use of this?” I asked. We were now seated in the living room. Iris was teaching me how to use my new phone. I understood the basics, but Iris downloaded a slew of programs that I had no idea how to utilize.

“That’s a camera,” she responded. I rolled my eyes at what I heard. Huh? The cellphone was equipped with its own camera. Were there two?

“Should I remove it?” I was about to uninstall the program when Iris slapped my palm.

“What was that for?”

“Don’t delete. That’s different from the phone’s basic camera. It has a lot of filters and photo templates. I know you’re not going to post it on social media, but duh? Use filter sometimes. I swear, it’ll make you 10 times hotter than your typical images. “ She was right; several filters were available. It appeared as though I was wearing makeup even when I was not.

“This is cool.” I experimented with various filters and found that they all worked well. I took numerous photographs of Iris and myself, despite the fact that I wouldn’t share them on social media.

These were for memories.

“Always keep your GPS open, Aurie; that’s important especially in your current situation.”

“What’s a GPS?” That’s a word I had never heard. Was it also a camera?

“I can easily track you using GPS; even if you get lost, we can still find you since GPS can tell us where we are; we can easily locate you, Aurie.” My mouth dropped open. Wow, I had no idea technology advanced at such a rapid pace. When I was a child, my mother never said anything like that to me. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if GPS existed when I was young.

“Just like your iPad, you can search for anything on your phone as long as you have a stable internet connection. Save my number, Aurie. I should be the first in your contacts, huh? Memorize it as well so you can contact me immediately if something bad happens. Save the dean’s number as well so you can contact both of us.” She handed me a piece of paper with numbers on it. The two of them had their names written there as well, so I wouldn’t ask as to who those numbers belong to.

I retained Iris’ name as an emergency contact. She was, as she stated upon enrollment, my guardian.

“I really like this case, Iris, but it’s a little too plain. Transparent, really?” I thought as I looked at the entire cellphone. On the rear of the phone were three big cameras for taking pictures and video. The apple in the centre had a bite taken out of it. The color was white, not like Iris’ cellphone that was color purple.

“Wait,” she said as she rose from her chair and entered her room. When she returned, she had a small piece of paper in her hand, on which I had no idea what had been written.

“Here, put it on the back of your phone,” she said, handing me the piece of paper she was holding. It was only after that that I realized what it was when I looked at it.

This was my image before I cut and dyed my hair. It was true that I’d undergone a significant transformation in my appearance. I was wearing a white daster and my hair hanged down on my legs; at the time, my hair was really, really, really long. On the photo, I appeared to be a mature woman; yet, in person, I appeared to be a high school student. I think this was shot using an old Polaroid camera. The photo had been filtered, and it gave me the impression of being taken with a disposable camera.

“What am I going to do here?” I wondered, my face flushed with surprise. She didn’t respond and instead took the phone from my hand. As soon as she took the phone out of its transparent case, she placed the polaroid photo of me behind it. She then reattached the transparent case to the phone after it had been placed.

“If you’re bored, just look at your image. That’s your prettiest picture, in my view. I even photo copied that one so I can have a lot of copies if I ever lose the others.” She returned the cellphone to me after putting the photo. She was right, I could spend the rest of my life staring at that picture.

Iris and I stayed in and watched movies for the entire weekend. Despite that it was pure romance, I was not dissatisfied. It was fine as long as the storyline was good. My only issue was that every time there was kissing scene, the memory of what Pierre and I did at the grocery came flooding back to me.

I was not given the opportunity to explain why I did that. Pierre might have concluded that I was interested in him because I unexpectedly kissed him. I was a little nervous, to be honest. I didn’t know what to do, so I did the first thing that came to mind. Last Friday, Iris and I watched a movie together, and I picked up on that move. For a long time, I refused to think that kissing could be used as a means of escape from something. After successfully escaping from Mommy, I had demonstrated that it was possible.

I hoped Pierre wouldn’t misunderstood my reason. Depending on how Pierre and I ended up kissing at the store, Nellie might be waiting for me outside the restroom once more and beat the hell out of me.

The day flew by until Monday arrived. I commuted because Iris was in the city at the moment. Her father called yesterday, and she stated that they needed to discuss something important. I was alone at home. She said, however, that she would continue to attend class. Even if she was late, she would make up for lost time because they would have a quiz later.

I came across a giant bulletin board on my way to the classroom. This was the one that was frequently used whenever an announcement was made in EastWood. Some students were looking, but the majority were not. I saw barely a few ladies reading it.

I went there out of curiosity and read what was written. My heart hammered because of what I saw.

THE EASTWOOD CHEERLEADING SQUAD IS SEARCHING FOR AN ADDITIONAL MEMBER. IF INTERESTED, PLEASE ATTEND THE AUDITION ON FRIDAY AT THE GYM.

I read it over and over till it became ingrained in my head. I was desperate to join. My joy was at an all-time high until I entered the classroom. I was still reeling over the announcement. Would they accept me? This was one of the reasons why I ran away from home.

“Silence, everyone.” My fantasizing was cut short by the sound of Pierre’s chilly voice. He entered the classroom with the black notebook in hand.

I hurriedly diverted my look when his eyes met mine. I was ashamed of what I did. I was mortified to my bones. When he passed my chair, I simply shifted my focus back to the front. He didn’t even say hello or goodbye; he simply passed me as if we hadn’t kissed the previous week.

Tch, stupid Aurie. What did you expect him to do? That kiss happened because of your lack of choice, right?

The teacher arrived after a few moments. I never looked at Pierre, despite that I needed to pass a paper. I was hoping he had already forgotten about the kiss, because if I found out he was still thinking about it, I was going to die sooner because of embarrassment.

“Ms. Jenkins? Can you answer the problem on the board? There’s no need to come here; simply solve with your iPad and say the answer.” I raised my eyes when the teacher said my name.

Why me?

Math was the subject being taught right now, we truly did need to practice problem solving. I immediately despaired when I saw the problem on the board. For me, it was quite difficult; I was afraid I would be even more embarrassed if I provided the incorrect answer.

“I-I’m not sure how to solve that, ma’am,” I softly stated. I despised math so much that even if my notes were many pages lengthy, I wouldn’t understand it.

“Oh, you don’t know how? Why? You’re not listening to my discussion?” she cynically asked. I was much more ashamed when I heard my classmates’ faint laughs.

“I’m listening; I simply c-can’t answer the problem—”

“If you listen carefully, you’ll understand what I’m teaching. Are you having trouble paying attention? Almost every one of your classmates I asked has answered the problem I am asking you to solve. What’s wrong with you?” I looked down at the ground when I saw our math teacher’s disappointed expression. Was my understanding the issue, or was she simply inept at teaching? However, my classmates were capable of solving it! I was the only one who was unable to answer.

“I’m sorry, ma’am.”

“Apologize? That doesn’t make sense, Ms. Jenkins. Your apology will not solve the problem that is written on the board. I’ve heard from other teachers that you are good at quizzes and recitation but I’ve noticed that you’re failing in my subject. Are you truly good or you’re only able to answer because of your notes? Don’t get me wrong, Ms. Jenkins, but it’s sad to know that without your notes, you won’t survive the lessons. Dear, I have high expectations from you since dean was the one who enrolled you. Meaning, he’s amazed by your excellence. Looks like dean had a mistake for letting you study here.” She immediately asked my other classmates to solve the problem. Numerous students raised their hands as if they would perish if they wouldn’t be picked by her.

I became more embarrassed.

I kept my mouth shut till the end of the class. I’d never felt so humiliated in my entire life. Even if I stumbled a few times in front of a large crowd, my embarrassment right now was unmatched.

Everybody except me was aware of the answer. Everyone found it easy, but I found it difficult. I was sure they would now refer to me as foolish and lame.

I didn’t go through Iris’ room during break time. I immediately walked to the canteen and placed an order for food. Minutes passed, Iris approached me as I sat on the seat, holding her Birkin bag and a milktea.

“You’re not gonna eat?” I asked. She took another sip of her milktea before shrugging.

“I’m on a diet, and there isn’t any healthy food here in the canteen, so I’m not going to eat.” I didn’t say anything and just chewed my food. I wanted to tell her about earlier when I had been embarrassed, but something kept me from saying anything.

“Iris, I saw the announcement about the cheering team looking for a member.” She cocked an eyebrow at me and looked up.

“They posted it already?” I nodded twice and continued eating. Her eyes suddenly closed tightly as she sat back on the chair.

“Why? Do you want to join?”

“I told them to put the announcement up on Thursday, so why did they put it up on the bulletin board so early?” she exclaimed irritably. My brows were furrowed, a little befuddled.

“How did you know they were looking? Did you already know they were looking before they posted it on the bulletin board?”

“Of course. I’m the cheer captain of EastWood, Aurie. I’m the one who planned everything we had to do. It’s just annoying that there are some people who didn’t follow me and immediately put the announcement on the bulletin board. Because of what they did, there are a lot of people who’ll come to me even before Friday.” Of all the things she said, I understood only one.

‘I’m the cheer captain of Eastwood, Aurie.’

“Did I hear you right? You’re the cheer captain of EastWood cheering team?” I asked, making sure if I didn’t mishear a thing.

“Yes. Why? Are you impressed with me again, sleeping beauty?” “

“Of course. I’m thrilled to learn that you are the cheering captain. I’m considering to join but I’m worried about not being accepted.” I tried to make a friendly face, but she just stared back.

“Even if the entire school stands up against me, I won’t still admit you into the cheerleading squad,” she stated solemnly. “I truly don’t want you to join the cheerleading squad, Aurora.” When I heard that directly from her voice, my disappointment swiftly travelled to the center of my chest.

“Why? I got moves, Iris, and I can demonstrate them to you right now,” I mumbled. It was true. I didn’t have the appearance of a frog dancing, so I could brag about what I knew.

“I’m sorry, Aurie, but I’m not going to let you in. Even if you do tumbling a thousand times in front of me right now, I’m not going to allow you to join.” My brows were pinched in surprise as I heard her. What exactly was wrong with her? Did I do anything she didn’t like that’s why she wouldn’t let me in?

“Why is that? I see no reason why you shouldn’t let me in, Iris. If you’re searching for skills, I can demonstrate mine.” She let out another heavy sigh and shrugged.

“I’m not letting you join because of your condition, Aurora. I’m just concerned. Joining a cheering team with that condition is extremely dangerous. You can’t lift a person because your knees may weaken, and you may be unable to catch our members. You are also not the one who can be lifted because you frequently lose your balance. What if my members didn’t catch you? You’ll die early. You also get tired easily, Aurie.”

“However, Iris, I assumed you—”

“Yes, I understand that you run away to do the things you want to do, Aurie, but there is always a limit. It’s too dangerous for you. If you want to die early, I don’t want you to. I won’t allow that to happen. Sorry, Aurie, but I won’t let you do what you want this time.” I was speechless when she stood up and left me there.

I was desperate to join, but how?

A part of me understood Iris completely, but I was still upset. I understood that she didn’t want to lose me this early, but I thought she understood me? I fled to experience things I had never encountered before, and over the last few weeks, she had assisted me in fulfilling my desires one by one.

Why was she suddenly averse to doing so? It was not as if I was going to die if I practiced every day. I knew I was going to die soon, but I was certain it wouldn’t be from exhaustion. I’d been exhausted for several days; nothing unusual had occurred except for the usual dizziness and occasional vomiting.

I rushed to eat in order to make it back to class on time. Perhaps I would persuade her to the bones. She was unlikely to resist my charms, was she? I was desperate to do this. Because of cheerleading, I realized I desired to flee. I wouldn’t allow myself to die without experiencing this.