Chapter 20

I was still confused about what the fuck Beck wanted from me. He fingered me then didn’t want me to touch him because he didn’t want me to ‘return the favor’? What is the point then? Does he not want sex from me? Then why the hell would he touch me like that? I was so confused by Beck’s intentions all of the sudden that I didn’t know what the fuck we were.

Either way, I just ignored it and pretended that night never happened which was a lot harder than it sounded. I just wanted to feel his lips on mine again. I think I was slowly coming to the realization that in an ideal world where hockey didn’t interrupt my personal life, I didn’t

Want Beck as friends with benefits. I wanted Beck.

It was a shame nothing would ever come to fruition.

Either way, I ignored that night just like Beck, both of us acting like it never happened. It wasn’t awkward, I don’t want to leave that impression. Beck and I continued to sleep at each other’s houses, joke around, and all of that but in the back of my mind there was always that cryptic wording that I couldn’t figure out. My three weeks had passed, meaning I could return to hockey and it couldn’t have gone more flawlessly. And where had Axel disappeared to that night in New York? Well, now I was meeting the mystery guy for dinner.

The smack of my hand on the back of Beck’s echoed trough the air of the loud restaurant, drawing attention from some patrons who thought someone just been bitch slapped. “Aye,” I pointed

At him to my left, resting my elbow on the table. “Stop steeling my broccoli rabe.”

Beck narrowed his icy eyes at me while swatting my hand away. “You don’t even like Frank Pepe’s besides, last time we came here for lunch you ate half my white clam.”

“Why would I choose this when I can have colony?” I whispered. Sure, Frank Pepe’s white clam pizza night have been ranked the number one pizza in the country seven years in a row, but I was a Colony Grill hot oil girl myself. But, Riko’s, Pepe’s, and Sally’s were all on the top 100 lost for almost a decade with Colony, and they’re all from the same family even if they are different recipes. But also, if Colony is the original, and it was owned by ex professional hockey players, which one is really the best?

“Because you live five minutes from here and thirty from Colony,” Sebastian

Interjected from across the green booth. “And if you don’t think this is the best, you can walk your pretty little ass right out of here because you don’t deserve it,” Seb pointed out, gesturing at the door before taking a bite of his margarita pizza.

“My ass is pretty but it’s anything but little,” I snapped playfully. “And, I think as the only one raised in Connecticut, my judgment of the best apizza style pizza is the only valid one. You transplants don’t know shit.”

“Bitch, you’re from New York.”

“False,” I cocked my head to the side sassily. “I was born in Groton then I moved to New York then back to Westport, so fuck you.”

“Damn,” a familiar voice came from my left. “I thought I told you to keep a leash on her,” the Hispanic drawled, appearing at our table with a taller Chinese man. He was only a little taller

Than Axel, who was 5’9” but Axel’s boyfriend definitely had a similar muscle tone to him.

“You talking to me?” Sebastian asked his best friend, almost offended.

“Either one of you,”Axel glanced at Beck pointedly before looking at me jokingly. “Some people value first impressions.”

“I think anyone that’s with you gives plenty of second chances.”

Axel glared at me before turning to his boyfriend with a small smile on his face. “This is Ken, my boyfriend. Ken this is Beck, Seb, and sadly, Danny,” he gestured at us respectively.

“Nice to meet you guys,” he smiled politely while Seb moved down the large booth to let both of them sit. We had already ordered food because Axel had said Ken and him ate after class and 2pm was too long for Seb to

Wait., hence the new to meet for dinner instead. Talk about high maintenance.

“Ken, are you from Connecticut? Because these two fools want to try and debate me over pizza,” I gestured at my friends, ignoring the fact the Beck just picked up the slice of mine that he was originally going after with a award winning smirk on his face.

“Nah, I’m from Manhattan. But as long as they aren’t from Chicago, I think we’re okay,” he smiled jokingly.

“Yes, I like a man who doesn’t want to pass out drunk and drown is his tomato soup in a bread bowl. Axel, you can keep him.” I joked at the right winger rolling his eyes again. “Also, I’m from Manhattan too. I lived there for like fourteen years. You and I know where it’s at.”

“Ignore her,” Beck cut in. “She can be a little much sometimes.” I couldn’t help myself as I punched him in the

Shoulder earning a playful glare and a flick of condensation from Beck’s cup.

“I swear you have the thing for getting me wet. First the water bottle now this. Wait. That came out wrong,” I paused in the middle of my blurb. “I take that back.”

“Nope, can’t take it back. We already know it’s true,” Beck winked suggestively at me while I scoffed, ignoring his knowing face and the heat in my cheeks.

“I’m sorry, are you two dating?” Ken asked curiously while biting back a genuine smile of his own. Seb did no such thing and barked out a hearty laugh at my humiliation.

“Fuck no,” both Beck and I said at the same time, both of us snapping our heads at each other with an offended look. Was the quick response for show? I wasn’t completely sure, but it seemed to be what rolled naturally off both our

Lips. Talk about mixed signals.

“No, I’m just his goalie and he’s the captain so we’re bound to have a love hate friendship.”

“I feel that. I actually play minor league baseball as the pitcher for the Bridgeport Bluefish. I’m kind of doing school part time,” Ken told us. No wonder he had a hockey player body; he was on a semi-professional sports team.

“Do you like doing part time? Beck and I are thinking of doing that next year to get our doctors and law licenses,” Sebastian asked the senior. I think Ken and Axel shared a computer science class, but I wasn’t positive on that.

“I mean right now I’m in the off season, but it’s pretty nice. If you can handle the work load it’s a great way to manage your time. You’re only going to be getting a few hours of sleep though, and probably not straight.”

“So how did you guys meet?” Beck asked after finishing my slice of pizza. It was an innocent question to everyone else but I could sense his protective undertone over his best friend. It was kind of hot, but I shouldn’t be thinking that way.

Beck was just one man. One man who happened to have a nice dick. That’s it. Nothing for me to get all worked up about. It’s not like I loved when he held me in his arms or made me laugh. I didn’t have an undying hunger to be near him and to have him touch me. Okay. Maybe this was a lot harder than I thought.

Even if Beck felt the same way it just couldn’t happen. I hate to sound like a broken record but it is the truth. I could never date a fellow hockey player, especially if I wanted to get drafted seriously and not just as a publicity stunt where I would never get ice time. Besides, what would be the point if

We’re both moving away to unknown locations indefinitely in six months. It just wasn’t worth it.

“We were partners in computer science,” Axel spoke, pulling me out of my zoned out state. Beck noticed beside me, sending a questioning look my way with furrows brows and asking eyes. I shook my head and turned back to the conversation, trying to forget about the mood dampener on my shoulders.

“Is that your major?” I asked Ken. Axel was just taking that class for shits and giggles. He and Beck were both studying to be lawyers so they choose to major in the criminal justice system before law school.

“No, I’m going to be a statistician.”

“Ugh,” I groaned in pain. “I hate stats more than life itself.”

“It’s ‘love’ more than life itself,” Seb corrected me.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Have you ever thought that maybe I hate life? That’s what I thought.” I mockingly turned my chin up and looked away from him, not able to fully contain my laugh as Axel and Beck laughed, leaving Seb to roll his eyes and Ken to hide a small smile.

“That’s what Beck meant by, ‘ignore her’,” Seb chimed in, giving Ken a look. It was my turn to scoff and roll my eyes at my left defender.

“One day, when I’m gone and your apartment is quiet and empty you’ll realize what you had,” my arms crossed over my chest as my emerald colored eyes narrowed to slits glaring at my tall best friend. “And you’ll never have it again. What if I died today, Sebastian?”

“Then I wouldn’t have to walk in on you and Beck ‘platonically’ dripping hot wax on each others naked bodies,

Because if anyone could turn that into a thing, it would be you two.” I couldn’t help but let my jaw drop in actual offense. Beck and I were perfectly platonic except for that one time in the hotel room and at that concert, which I’m pretty sure Seb didn’t even know about.

“I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment,” Beck mused with amusement at how embarrassed I suddenly looked. I smashed the back of my hand hard on Beck’s firm chest causing the thump to echo through the air, but not as much as my original slap from earlier. “That’s the second time you’ve hit me since we walked in here, people are going to start to think you’re abusive.”

“Maybe if you weren’t an annoying little bitch-“

“Can I get you something to drink?” The waiter interrupted as politely as he could, looking at Axel and Ken. My

Gaze snapped from Beck’s intense and defined face to the Indian waiter, my heart stopping for a second. ‘Fuck’ was all I could think as his dark eyes landed on me, his tall and lanky frame looking a little more filled out, in a good way. He opened his mouth slightly before closing it and looking back at Ken and Axel with a smile, pretending he didn’t just see me.

This is what I get for trying to find a boyfriend at a college with only seven thousand kids total.

I averted my own eyes to Seb with pursed lips, my hand on the left side of my face and a glare, watching as Seb tried to contain his laughter. I could feel Beck’s questioning gaze on me with I was blatantly trying to ignore the man at the head of the table as he took orders for two waters and Axel’s craving for a cheese pizza just three hours after his lunch. Just don’t talk to me. Don’t look my way. Don’t build up the courage, please.

“Danny, is that you?” Fuck.

“Vajhal,” I acknowledged, dropping my left hand to the table and looking a him. I felt so fucking awkward.

“I saw you got hurt like a month ago. I would have texted but I couldn’t find your number. Is everything okay?” He asked, seeming sincere as he tucked the notepad away.

“Yep. I’m fine,” I paused awkwardly, heat rushing to my cheeks. “How are Anfisa and Sai?”

“Good,” he too paused glancing behind him to the kitchen before turning back to me. “Hey, wasn’t it your birthday last week?”

I frowned, hating the attention from my friends. Sure they had all said something but I had forced my best friends to promise not to do anything for it. Now it was just another

Reminder that I was ‘lame and boring’ as Sebastian had put it. “Yeah,” I muttered.

“Happy belated birthday, Danny,” Vajahl responded before glancing behind him again to see the hostess watching him. When he looked back at us, he flashed me another half smile. “It was nice talking to you. I’ll uh, see you around.”

I didn’t even watch as he turned and left, instead putting my hands on my forehead as I leaned my elbows on the table and groaned. “Someone shoot me.”

“That was the most socially awkward interaction I’ve ever witnessed,” Beck commented with a teasing voice, but I knew he was dead serious. It was impossible not to be after the interaction he just witnessed.

“Axel, I swear you couldn’t have gotten here ten minutes earlier and spared

Me the embarrassment,” I complained while Beck put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his chest in mock comfort.

“What a shame. You’ll just have to go into hiding,” he taunted while I hit his chest again, but much lighter before pulling away.

“We need to leave before he comes back.”

“Who is he?” Ken asked cautiously, not knowing how much we all knew.

I opened my mouth to respond when Seb beat my too it with a laugh. “Her ex who dumped her sorry ass when his baby mama came back from Russia.” And because he couldn’t handle being with me knowing I’d been raped, but we’ll just forget about that. Vajhal was actually a nice guy, but his baby’s mother moved here just weeks after I’d told him the truth about my rape. He just took the easy way out, and in some

Knowing how much we all knew.

I opened my mouth to respond when Seb beat my too it with a laugh. “Her ex who dumped her sorry ass when his baby mama came back from Russia.” And because he couldn’t handle being with me knowing I’d been raped, but we’ll just forget about that. Vajhal was actually a nice guy, but his baby’s mother moved here just weeks after I’d told him the truth about my rape. He just took the easy way out, and in some ways I don’t blame him. He’s trying to make a family I guess.

“Rough,” Beck laughed at me. “You’re just having a great month, aren’t you?”

“I need new friends.”

“Bullshit. You love us.”

Sadly, I did.