Chapter 108 Chapter 108
Shae glanced at the other faces in the room, all were tear-stained.
“Bastards,” Aunt Marilyn hissed. “No one has ever been brave enough to explain to me…” she glanced at Billie, “in detail, what it’s like.”
Billie sniffled and shook her head. “I don’t blame…” tears started flowing again, “I don’t even know his name.”
“We’ll find out.” She couldn’t believe what Billie had gone through. It wasn’t at all like it had been for Calum and her. These herbs they used on people made them frantic, almost mad with need… it was vile. A shiver ran down her spine. They had to stop this before more women were hurt. Looking from Billie to her mentor, she waited until Nona looked up. “We have to tell them the rest.”
Marilyn moaned, pained, “everyone has a right to know what’s been happening under our very noses for so long.” She shook her head. “Barbarism is what it is.”
Her mother set her cup down on the table and looked at Marilyn. “What are you talking about?” She dabbed a hand on her cheek, wiping the dampness away.
Shae inhaled slowly and blew out a long breath, gathering her words. “Calum found a mass grave of remains, of bones…”
“Bones?” Her mother frowned, “what kind of bones?”
“Our kind, Faye, the remains of shifters.” Nona supplied in a quiet voice.
“What do you mean?” Billie asked, her voice shaking.
Shae wrung her hands together, trying to keep it together enough to explain. “One of Calum’s missing clansman was there, still wearing his collar…” she swallowed the lump in her throat, “he’d been shot in the head.”
Her mother jumped up so fast she jarred the table, causing the cups to rattle. “What are you saying? The cap... men released are killed?” Her voice was high pitched. “That’s … that’s impossible. They go home.” She said quietly, confusion in her tone.
Getting up, Shae went to her mother. She hadn’t expected a reaction like this from her.
“Oh no.” Billie gasped.
With a hand over her mouth, terror in her eyes, her mother stood there shaking her head back and forth. “No…” she inhaled a ragged breath, “no, I can’t accept that.”
“Mom?” Shae put a hand on her arm to steady her. “It’s okay, we’re going to put a stop to it…”
Her mother looked at her, but wasn’t really seeing. “I always thought he went home. I was at peace with it that way.” She shook her head. “How could I be so stupid?”
Pulling her hand back like it had been bitten, Shae looked over at Nona, who was looking at the floor, then to her aunts, no one would make eye contact with her. Something broke inside her in that moment and Shae slapped her hand on the table, sending cups clattering. “What aren’t you telling me now?” She knew she was yelling, but after the last few days, she really didn’t care. Chancing a glance to Billie, she saw confusion on her face, and felt just a tiny bit better that she wasn’t the only clueless person in the room, for a change.
Standing there with her hands on her hips she watched the older women in the room glance to each other, they kept looking to her mother, so clearly this was for her mom to tell. Taking a deep breath, she tried to be calm enough to ask, even though she wanted to demand. “Mom?” Her mother didn’t look at her. Shae studied the emotions on her face, they went from shame to anger, to mourning. It could only mean one thing. “Mom, is he my father? Leroy, is he my father?”
Her mothers teared eyes jumped to connect with hers. She shook her head. “No.”
Shae put a hand on the table to steady herself. “Who is?”
A hollow expression replaced the sadness in her mother’s eyes. “I don’t know his name… they… they were numbered and the names in the book are,” she exhaled a ragged breath, “was his assigned name.” Her mother sat quickly, as if her legs had given out. She stared past Shae’s shoulder, her eyes glazed, not seeing anything. “It’s your middle name. Kel, only we add more to them, depending on the sex of the baby…” she gave her a guilty look, “Kelani. It’s how they keep track, so half-siblings don’t mate.”
Shae’s legs gave out, she dropped down to the floor and lowered her head onto her knees, hugging them. “Finish.” She growled, unable to feel anything but rage.
“Shae…” Nona said softly.
Lifting her head, Shaelan glared. “I want her to finish explaining why a man that has hated my very existence for my entire life has been masquerading as my father.” Nona sat back in her chair again. Turning slowly, Shae looked at her mother, the woman that had, up to this point, been the only pure and unmarred thing in her world. “Finish,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I had a mate, not a true one, but we loved each other.” She nodded, looking down at her own hands. “He had been injured, in a fight…” she glanced fleetingly at Nona, “He was the true alpha of the clan and…” she exhaled a slow breath, “and we were discussing putting an end to the captive breeding…he didn’t agree with it.” She finally looked at Shaelan, tears filling her eyes. “But…we couldn’t conceive, so I consented to participate in the breeding program.” She offered a shaky smile. “We just wanted a child to love.” The words garbled as she continued, “Your fa-Leroy killed my mate in a challenge to become alpha…” she swallowed a sob, “my family had always led…” She held a shaking hand over her mouth, “he didn’t know I was carrying you when he took over…” she shook her head several times, “he let me keep you when he found out.” Her whole body stared shaking, “He thought he would be seen as strong and virile when it was revealed that I was pregnant so soon after…” She shook her head several times, “but he never truly accepted that you weren’t his.” Her eyes pleaded with Shae, “I would have died before I gave you up.”
Shae didn’t know how long she stared at her mother. She rocked her whole body gently as she hugged her knees tightly. “Where’s this book?” Her voice sounded hollow, even to her own ears.
“I can get it,” Nona said softly.
She didn’t turn to look at her, “I want to see, with my own eyes, if I have siblings I didn’t know about.”
“You do.” Her mother said in a sad tone. “That boy you liked we forbad you to hang out with. Kellan is his middle name.”
She had a brother. No father. Her entire life was one lie after the other. “Does he know?”
Her mother shook her head. “Only the elders know, outside of the alpha and maybe the second family.”
Shae nodded her head in time to the rocking motion of her body. Stopping herself, she pushed to her feet and stood there for a moment. Forcing her numb legs to move, she walked to her room and closed the door. Locked it, then she slid to the floor and leaned against it. Outside it she heard someone else do the same thing, and knew that Billie was there. She didn’t think she could face even her right now.
She stared at the bookshelf, not really seeing it. Her heart physically hurt, but she couldn’t form a tear. So many lies. Her entire world was one lie after another. Shae felt rage move through her, and she jumped up, screaming as she swatted at the books on the shelf. They flew in the air, clunking into whatever they hit. Picking up the shelf, she heaved it at the wall and then spun around and flipped her mattress off the bed. Her dresser was next, the drawers were pulled out and flung across the room. She stopped and stood panting, and shaking. Calum, she wanted to see him. Not even he could fix this ness. She screamed again, making a noise she had never before heard in her life. The sound of a lonely, wild animal.
“Shae,” Billie’s voice came through the door. “Shae, please let me in.” She pleaded.
The tears fell so fast now, she blindly stumbled to the door and placed her cheek against it as she reached to unlock it.