Chapter 76: Chapter Twenty-Three

**Amina’s POV**

If there was anything I learned in life, it was that happiness, in its ever-fleeting form, was nothing more than a childhood dream. A pure, immaculate fantasy untouched and untainted by the evils of this world, just as children were before waking, before growing. If all went well, and if all our cards aligned, and if fate, in its eluding grand design, felt generous enough, perhaps one could get near this dream and reach so close that it became a reality. 

Alas, these were too many ifs, and as I laid in our room alone, Benjamin locked away in his office, I realized how stupid and naive I was to think I had come within reach of absolute happiness.

Unable to sleep, I tossed and turned in my bed until my frustration finally took the upper hand. I was irritated by everything but especially bothered by the fact that, despite our love, Benjamin and I remained trapped in a vicious cycle of mistrust, fear, and uncertainty. It was as though we were walking backward, always one step forward and ten steps back, and the events of tonight were proof of that. 

Who was to blame here? Him, or me, or some unseen external force lingering above us, relentlessly plotting and denying our happiness?

“Argh!” I groaned, snatching the covers off of me before I stood up. 

Travis’s last message reluctantly danced across my mind over and over, and I was beginning to resent him for coming between Benjamin and me. Maybe he didn’t trust my mate, but I did. I trusted Benjamin with my life and my heart, even if he couldn't do the same.

I found him sitting behind his desk, his legs stretched out on a second chair, one on top of each other. His eyes were closed, and his breathing, shallow. He seemed to be sleeping, and, despite the turmoil of feelings brewing within me, I was reluctant to wake him up.

“It's late, Mina. Go to bed.” Benjamin's voice caught me off guard.

He still had his eyes closed, but this time, his relaxed face looked a little more troubled as his jaw tightened and his thick dark eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“I- I’m….” I hesitated, entering his office on my tiptoes. “I want to talk about what happened at the diner.”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Well, I do.” I replied in a sudden loud and demanding voice.

His eyes snapped open, and his head abruptly jerked towards me at the surprising authority seeping from my tone. I didn’t intend on raising my voice, but his dismissive demeanor was the last straw, and before I knew it, my feelings came flying out of my mouth.

“Look, I know I’ve upset you, and maybe I shouldn't have agreed to Travis’s attendance at Ophelia’s party tomorrow, but you have to understand… O wants him there. They’re friends, and she likes him. What else could I have said to her?”

“Mina…” He sighed as he rose from his chair, pinching the bridge of his sharp nose. “Mina, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s late. Can’t you just go back to bed?”

“I’m not the one who wants Travis at that party, Benji. So stop being mad at me.” I pleaded with him, ignoring his hundredth attempt at brushing me off. “We talked about this, Benji.”

“Yes, we did.” He growled back at me. “You said you wouldn’t see him again. You said you picked me, and now, you’re asking my parents to invite him back into our lives.”

“For Ophelia, dammit, not for me! Were you not at that table?” I screamed, my exasperation unwittingly reaching an all-time high. “She asked for William, Shira, and Travis. What else could I do? At every single turn, I chose you. I rejected him and told him no, over and over for you. I went home with you and laid with you. I want you. What more can I do to prove to you that Travis isn’t going to steal me away? It's fucking crazy, Benji! You’re acting crazy!”

“I know I am!” He yelled out, punching the wall, as his anger suddenly trumped mine. “I can’t help it. I’m the only one of us who can feel the weight of our mate bond, Mina. Do you have any fucking idea of how strong it actually is? Whatever spark you feel when we touch, whatever pull toward me you sense when we’re away, whatever scent you think you can perceive, double it. Triple it! Multiply it by a thousand. That’s what I feel with you.” 

He finally stopped pacing and took in a deep breath as he leaned back against the hollowed-out wall. 

“I knew…” He sighed. “I knew as an Alpha wolf that the bond with my mate would be a strong one, but I have been losing my mind ever since I met you, and I didn’t know why it was so bad until recently. You’re a Lycan, Mina, an Alpha at that. This shit is too intense, too powerful, even for me. You were supposed to share all of it with me, but thanks to your mom, you can’t.” 

I was dumbfounded. I never knew of Benjamin's daily struggles against the heaviest and most burdensome afflictions of our bond, but as his shoulders slumped, his head bowed, and his back rounded, my anger slowly subsided. Benjamin seemed genuinely browbeaten and crestfallen, and the only thing I felt was an overriding urge to comfort him. 

“Goddess, Mina, if you could only mark me, I wouldn’t feel so insane." He whispered as I approached him. "One moment I’m high on life, happy that you’re with me, and the next, I worry our bond isn’t as strong without your mark. I just feel so insecure when it comes to you and Travis. He knows our bond isn’t as strong, and he’s using it against us. I can’t bear the thought of losing you to him, Mina. I’ve lost you too many times already.”

“Can't I become like you?” I wondered aloud as I cupped his cheek with my right hand.

“Werewolves are not vampires or witches, Mina. We can’t just go around turning people.” He sighed, his head leaning into my hand.

“How about marking then? Can a human mark a werewolf?” 

Almost instantly, Benjamin stifled his laugh. “No, you can’t. That’s just a bite; it’ll never stay. Within two minutes, the mark would have completely healed.” He explained, teasing at my idea.

“Then, we have no choice. I’ll have to bite you every two minutes.” I half-mindedly joked as I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. “I’ve never had much luck with anything in life, Benji, but I want my happy ending with you.”

“I know, baby.” He whispered under his breath, holding me tighter against his body.

**Benjamin’s POV**

Be strong, be tough, and stay guarded at all times.

Be cold-blooded and impenetrable, don't talk or show any weakness.

These were my Alpha teachings.

These were the fundementals of my life until Mina came barging in it. Suddenly, my heart was my greatest asset and my vulnerability my greatest strength, and even though it still felt strange and uncomfortable to me, I couldn't deny the inner peace that came with honesty. Mina didn't care about my Alpha title or the power and riches it could bring to her. She only ever desired happiness, and I wanted to be the one to give it to her, even if it meant unveiling my soul and showing whatever cowardly weakness laid within me.

We fell asleep in each other's arms last night, draped in a comfortless silence because, despite our conversation, we both knew we weren't at the end of our troubles. On the contrary, they were just beginning.

Marking your mate is as essential, if not more, than just being with them. It solidified the bond and allowed one to share everything with the other. But she was an Alpha wolf cursed into living as a human. She could never mark me, let alone ever experience the real driving force behind our bond, and the longer I went on, unmarked, the harder it became to carry it all by myself.

As a sense of disconnection wedged further into my relationship with Mina, the paranoia about the one she had with Travis Reese continued to feed off my insecurities. I had no idea how deep their bond was, and although she told me she loved me, my mind could only worry and obsess that she might end up choosing Travis.

‘*Goddess, now you truly sound like a madman*!’ I scolded myself as I slowly got up from the bed, not wanting to wake Mina. ‘*She said she wants to be with you, idiot. Trust your mate*.’

Nevertheless, jealousy, anxiety, and protectiveness raged within me as I headed off to work, and from his low approving groans in my head, I could tell my wolf agreed with me. Silas and I shared one common thought; Travis was a threat to our relationship with Mina, and as much I had confidence in her, I couldn’t trust him.

So enough was enough.

He had to go.

I needed only to figure out how.