Chapter 51: One more goodbye

Amina’s POV

Two months ago, I had fallen for the Alpha of the Blackwoods Pack, but between everything that happened, I had no idea where our relationship was going. It seemed like we were standing on the edge of a rift that promised to sink deeper under our feet if we tried to move. We had both failed in our duties as mates and there was no happy ending in sight, only a life filled with hardships and mistrust.

“Give me some time.” I whispered to Benjamin and swallowed my tears.

He laid a soft kiss on my lips before picking me up and carrying me back up the stairs. He put me down in front of the bedroom door and grazed his soft lips against mine once more.

“I’m gonna’ stay at my parent’s house for a while. At least, until you call me back.” He muttered into my hair as I buried my face in his shirt and inhaled his soothing fragrance.

He didn’t give me the chance to say another word as he was already walking down the stairs and closing the front door behind him. I didn't know what to think anymore so I entered Benjamin’s room quietly and crawled into his large bed. I laid under the covers and stared blankly at the ceiling until sleep took a hold of me.

A week later, I was feeling much better physically, but my emotions were still upside down. Dr. Stohel had stopped visiting me as I was clinically stable and my other guests consisted of Benjamin’s family. Each day, friendly faces would drop by to check up on Ophelia and I. Everyone had warmed up to her rather quickly and although she never left my side, she seemed to open up to others as well.

My mate had stayed true to his word and kept his distance from me and even if, most of the time, his was the only face I longed to see, I was glad to have my own space to think.

“Leave it to a Luna to kick out the Alpha out of his own house.” Roxanne chuckled as she sat above me to braid my hair.

“How dare you? I didn’t kick him out, he graciously offered to leave.” I replied feigning indignation.

As we laughed, I remembered the days where it was just her and me, peacefully gossiping the hours away inside of our crammed and sketchy apartment.

“You’re my best friend, Roxy and I love you.” I said as I brought her right hand to my cheek.

“I know and I love you, Mina.”

I turned around to face her and she instantly knew what I wasn’t willing to say out loud.

“Mexico?” She asked me plainly.

I bobbed my head up and down, nodding my answer.

“When will you be leaving?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll take the bus to go home first and I’ll leave from there in a month.”

“You’ll take my car.”

“I can’t.”

“You will. That way you will have to bring it back to me.” She ordered in a soft brittle voice.

Roxanne had left us sometime after lunch and I used the rest of my day to prepare for my conversation with Benjamin. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I also knew it was something that needed to be done. Too much had happened between us in such a short period of time and the one thing that remained clear through it all was the fact that I was nowhere near ready to become an Alpha’s mate. Benjamin owned a huge part of me and meant too much. I couldn't reject him, but in order to be able to give myself over completely, I first needed to mend my broken soul.

Beyond simply being my mate, Benjamin represented my deepest hope for happiness and I loved him for it. I loved him from the very first moment that I laid eyes on him. I loved him for all that he was and for showing me everything that I could be. I loved him for loving me despite my shortcomings, but I couldn’t be what he needed to me be.

Tonight, from the guest bedroom where Ophelia slept and where I rocked her back to sleep, I could hear Benjamin walk into the house. He remained downstairs while I made sure the young girl was peacefully asleep.

“How is she doing?” He asked me sitting on the floor next to the fireplace that Ophelia had lit.

“Every night is a new nightmare.” I sighed as I made my way towards him. “She’s been through a lot, but she’s a great girl. I hope she’ll have a place within your pack.”

“She means a lot to you so she means a lot to me. Ophelia’s Blackwoods if she wants to be.”

I thanked him as I stood above him, staring into the fire. Benjamin gently pulled me by the arm until he had me sitting on his lap. He began stroking my lower back with one hand and my cheek with the other. The fire cast a soft light on him and I could see for the first time in weeks, the draconian changes in his face. His jaw was covered with a stubble that he was too tired to shave. The dark circles under his eyes turned away from their blue light and his cheeks hollowed out slightly. It looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in months.

“You look beat.” I told him concerned as I grazed my fingers on his chin.

“You too.” He replied dropping his smile. “What did he do to you, baby?” He asked me lowly.

“Nothing that he’ll ever get to do again, you made sure of that.”

“Did he force himself on you?” He stuttered at the weight of his question.

“Not this time, no.”

Benjamin crashed his lips on top of mine and kissed me passionately. I was left breathless by the intense depth of his desire for me. As he pressed his body harder against mine, his tongue swirled into my mouth and the taste of him nearly made me forget what I had planned on doing tonight. Every time that he was close to me, I became desperate for more of him.

“Benji…” I let out panting against his lips.

“Baby, I love you. I promise that I’ll never let you down again. Just forgive me.”

“I’m not mad, but I do have to go home. I'm leaving.”

“No, you’re not.” He teared into my chest wrapping his arms against my waste.

“I can’t stay here and I can’t be what you need. Benji, please you have to let me go.” I sobbed out as I freed myself from his arms.

I got up from him and headed for the stairs quickly as I could feel my willpower wilt with every second. I was halfway up the stairs when his dejected voice bounced off the wall and echoed all around me.

“You’re never coming back to me, are you?”

Before I could answer, Benjamin got up suddenly and stormed out of his house, slamming the door behind him. A long and gut-wrenching howl resonated through the air and it was the last sound that I heard from him. I pulled his favourite clothes from their hanger and enveloped myself in his scent to try to comfort myself through this miserable night.

“So that’s what my goodbye party consists of? One sole friend and her mate?” I unenthusiastically joked at the expense of Ryan and Roxanne as they threw me the keys to her white sedan.

“Yeah well, not many people in town are happy that their Luna is leaving.” Ryan said in a dry tone.

“Not many people around here are happy that I’m leaving either.” I relied pointing at the teenage girl pouting on the doorsteps. "She refused breakfast and now she's threathening to leave."

“I’m telling you, I’m not staying here without you. I’ll become a rogue again, I don’t care.” She yelled out, raising her hand over her eyes to protect from the sun.

“And I told you, Ophelia, I can’t bring you with me on an assignment.”

“Well, I’m running away then.” She pulled her tongue out.

I looked back frustrated at the couple, throwing my arms up in defeat.

“Hold on.” Roxanne spoke up. “You’re not going to Mexico for another month or so… so how about Ophelia goes home with you now and comes back here when you leave for your assignment?”

I turned my head towards the girl who had a huge smile plastered across her face.

“That works for me! Shotgun!” She laughed as she ran and climbed in the car with the speed of light.

“Teenage werewolves.” I rolled my eyes to my friend. “I’m gonna’ miss you both. Do me favour, don’t let him hurt too long. He deserves to be happy. So please, help him.”

“Of course, we will.” Ryan nodded before pulling me in for a group hug.

I climbed behind the wheel and as we were pulling out of Benjamin’s driveway, Roxanne made us promise to video chat with her every chance we got. I waved goodbye with a heavy heart and just before our car merged into the road, my mate’s piercing blue eyes connected with mine. He turned away and walked towards his house without a goodbye. I could barely breathe as leaving him hurt me more than anything I've ever felt before.

Ophelia’s high and excited voice proved to be a great distraction from my heartbreak and, as she rambled on about how excited she was to see my hometown, I was suddenly a little happy that she insisted to come with me.

“Hey chatterbox, could you plug my phone for me please? It’s been out of juice for weeks.”

“Sure! Tell me about your city!” She asked plugging my phone into the car. "I can't wait to see it."

“It’s big…some would even argue that it’s too big. I like the food scene over there. It’s very diverse and it helps better my cooking.” I said slowly, thinking back to the few things that I missed about the city.

“Oh, I love food, this is gonna’ be awesome. You’re gonna’ have to take me everywhere.”

*Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!*

My cellphone buzzed like never before when it started to charge and I could see countless notifications scroll down the glass screen. I decided to focus my attention on the voicemails for now since I was driving. Many were from my mother and I hissed under my breath at each voicemail. Her anger was rampant and I wasn't looking forward to calling her back.

**“Hi, Miss Langley. This is Doctor Ramsay from Chapel Hill Hospital. You have left the hospital tonight against medical advice and it would be in your best interest to— Message deleted.”**

“**Good afternoon, Miss Langley. This is Doctor Ramsay from Chapel Hill Hospital. I’m calling because the results of your blood tests came back and Miss Langley, you are pregnant. I strongly suggest that you come back to the hospital so we can perform a full check up and get you started on a course of prenatal vitamins. I could also give you a referral for an OB-GYN…**”

‘*Pregnant, me?*’ I thought to myself as I stared at the road. A deafening ringing almost burst my eardrums and my vision became blurry. A lump formed in the back of my throat and I couldn’t focus on anything else but the mind-blowing news. My thoughts were racing through my head at such speed that nothing else could be processed.

“Mina! Watch out!”

I was about to lose my grip on reality when the loud honk of another car and Ophelia’s head-splitting shrill violently pulled me out of my daze. I sharply swerved our sedan to the right, slamming on the brakes to avoid a head-on collision with the jeep coming down the other side of the road. Our car spun around twice before coming into a full stop mere inches away from the ditch.

“Are you okay?” I asked the jolted teen.

“Yeah. Are you?” She asked me right back.

“I don’t know.”