Chapter 38: Lover's pain

Amina’s POV

Once I climbed out of the car, Benjamin had ordered the rest of the group to leave us behind. Facing the full authority of an Alpha’s command, they didn’t put up much of a fight and in a few minutes, I was left in the middle of the road with an infuriated mate. While I didn’t feel completely unsafe, a familiar feeling of uneasiness had anchored itself to me. I knew all too well how ugly this situation could get. Micheal’s hostility had always led to his assaults and Benjamin’s level of anger closely matched that of Micheal’s. The threat of danger felt almost too close for comfort and overruled by a basic instinct of self-preservation, I unwittingly took a few steps back.

Benjamin appeared clearly irritated by my need to distance myself from him. He moved forward until there was no more space between us. I studied him intently as he inhaled my scent and I noticed his demeanor switch up drastically. All of a sudden, the clenched muscles in face softened up, his pupils flared, his shoulders dropped and his fists came undone. Just like I always did, he couldn’t help but feel the effects of the mate bond and, even if his anger boiled to unprecedented levels, his heart and soul remained attached to mine. He slowly raised his hand up towards my face but hesitated to touch me.

He chose, instead, to walk away from me. It was the only way for him to remain strong. He took off into the bushes leading up to the forrest. I followed him from a distance holding up my painful arm. When he heard me wince in the background, Benjamin turned to face me.

“Are you okay?” He asked me concerned and I shook my head no.

“No more lies between us, Mina.” He said in sigh as he closed his eyes.

“It hurts.” I finally admitted.

“Was it worth it?” He asked pointing to my arm. “You got hurt because you wanted to see him, didn’t you?”

“Yes”

“Was he there?”

“No.”

“Of course he wasn't. It was a trap and one that he knew you would stupidly fall for.”

His words hit me like a ton of bricks but it seemed to matter little to him as he started to pull away from me again.

“You loved him, right? Do you still do?” He asked with his back turned from me.

“No.”

“What about Travis? Do you love him?”

“No.”

“You’re a liar, Mina. How do I know that you’re not lying?” His voice trembled under the weight of his emotions.

“I’m not.”

Hot heavy tears rushed quietly from my eyes as I followed in Benjamin footsteps like a lost puppy. I knew that this was all my fault. He had given me plenty opportunities to tell the truth and trust him, but all that I could think of was protecting my own little ego. I was ashamed of my past and ashamed of myself.

“Do you love me?” He asked as he stopped dead in his tracks.

*‘I want to! But how? How could I love you when I don’t even like myself?’* My heart was screaming out but my mouth kept shut. Unable to fight for him, I finally understood the depth of the hole that I stood in. I spent three years travelling and living a lie. I wasn’t getting better or happier. All I ever did was runaway from my problems and my past. Micheal had a hold of me that I needed to break in order to heal.

“You can’t even give me an answer, can you? It’s simple, Mina! Do you love me, yes or no?” He asked again turning to face me.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes it is!” He screamed out violently as he rushed towards me. “Let me show you. You’re my mate and I love you. Now your turn! I’m your mate and you….” He trailed off waiting for me to say what he wanted to hear.

“Fuck! Of course I had to be the one who gets stuck with the fucked up human mate!” He laughed spitefully as he moved back from me. “I bet that it wasn’t hard lying to me and going behind my back, though, was it?”

“I’m trying…” I muttered in a feeble voice.

“No, Mina. I’m the one who’s been trying. You’ve just been a pain from the very beginning.” He kept yelling and walking further away.

“That’s enough.” I felt completely defeated.

I wanted him to stop.

With every passing second, my heart was shattering into a million pieces and I felt like the biggest fool. This whole thing was beginning to feel like a déjà-vu. He swore to protect me but he became the one hurting me. Sweat poured out of me and I wanted to throw up. I became lightheaded and I could feel my heartbeat slowing down. Benjamin’s voice muffled and the ground under me swayed from left to right. His piercing blue eyes were the last thing I saw before everything around me went black.

I woke in an unfamiliar place, alone and confused with a throat burning for some water. When I finally looked around me, I was laying in a hospital bed, hooked up on an IV drip and my right arm was propped up on a pillow and tightly wrapped up. I was beginning to freak out a little when a heavily bearded older man entered my room.

“Ah! Miss Langley, glad to see that you’re awake. I’m Doctor Ramsay. How are you feeling?” The man dressed in a white coat said cheerfully.

“Alright, I guess.” I answered with a hoarse voice.

“Do you have any pain?” He asked when he saw my eyes narrow.

“No, just really thirsty.”

“Are you sure? No pain?” He insisted.

“Yes, no pain. So it was blood loss, you said?”

“Well, I didn’t say it yet.” He smiled. “But, yes. You lost a lot of blood. We had to transfuse two bags and sedate you for emergency surgery. You should've come to the hospital sooner. You’re lucky that your wound didn’t get infected, Miss Langley. Oh, and we also administered your first of the rabies shot.”

“That was not necessary.” I said with a croak.

“Miss, you’ve been savagely mauled by an unknown animal. It seems more than necessary.”

‘*Alright, the doc is not a werewolf.*’ I thought to myself as I nodded my head back to him.

“When can I leave?” I asked a little impatiently.

I was fine working in hospitals, but I hated being a patient.

“We’ll keep you under observation for the night and the rest will depend on how your bloodwork comes back tomorrow. In the meantime, try to rest. Call if you need anything.” He said leaving the room.

‘*That’s not a bad idea.*’ I thought as I looked over at the pile formed by my clothes in a chair. I wanted to grab my phone and call Roxanne but then I remembered that my purse stayed behind with her. I started thinking back to all of the events leading up to moment that I blacked out. I fought with all of my strength to contain the floodgates of tears as I replayed my afternoon on a loop. Benjamin had made it clear that he didn’t want me anymore and maybe it was for the best. I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s girlfriend, let alone an Alpha’s mate. Perhaps, he was doing us a favour and sparing us a lot more pain than I could imagine.

“I thought you might be a little thirsty.” A woman spoke in a soft voice right after clearing her throat.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice that someone had entered my room. She was about my age and was wearing what appeared to be a nurse’s uniform. She handed me a glass of water with a sweet smile.

“How are you feeling?” She asked me.

I raised my left thumb up towards her after gulping the cool water that she had offered me.

“So I was right, you were thirsty.” She laughed. “I’ll go get you some more.”

She turned on her heels to leave but before she walked through the open doorway, I had called her back to my side.

“Wait. Do you know what time it is?” I asked since the only thing the little window in my room let me know was that it was dark out.

“It’s almost one in the morning.” She said as her mouth curved into a soft smile.

“Has anybody come to see me? Maybe the man who brought me here… He’s tall, dark hair, blue eyes…” I stopped when she started shaking her head no.

“No one has come for you, not even the Alpha.” She replied to me.

I didn’t know what shocked me the most, the fact that she had just referred to Benjamin by his title or the realization that he had left me here all alone. He didn’t care about me enough to stay by my side, no one did. I shouldn’t have been surprised by that. Benjamin was the head of the pack and not even Roxanne could go against him.

“You’re a werewolf?” I asked her to which she nodded yes.

“I don’t know if I should be telling you this but…” The nurse started to say.