None of them show any response to my words.
"Where's your female?" someone toward the back asks.
The question hits me like a blow to the gut. I could've handled any inquiry, was prepared for any discussion but this one.
Carajo.
The pack wants an alpha with a female. They need to know I'm preserving our alpha line. It's what the council told me, but now I'm seeing how much it matters to them.
Goddammit.
A leader doesn't blame others when he's found lacking. I'm not going to throw the council under the bus, even though I believe their interference ruined my chances with Sedona.
Sedona-fates. I've gone all day trying not to think of her, but now she's here, right in the forefront of my mind, the way I last saw her. Hurt, angry, and afraid. Her face pale with fury, blue eyes flashing. My Sedona. I nearly double over with the pain that seizes my gut.
I clear my throat. "I'm working on finding a mate. I promise I will take one soon to continue the Montelobo line."
The wolves shift on their feet, and the scent of suspicion grows stronger. They know a bullshit line when they hear one, I guess.
I owe them more credit. Despite the pain in my chest, I try again. "You may have heard I took a mate over the last moon, and it's true. But my mate was brought here against her will, stolen from her pack in America. I refuse to keep her prisoner here. I released her."
Unbelievably, some of the wolves nod, as if they agree with my decision. Maybe all they need is communication from me, so they understand the decisions their alpha is making. Rather than let the guilt at my failing as an alpha drag me under, I plow forward, give them more.
"I know I've been a poor alpha to you. I've been away while conditions here worsened. But I'm back now. I'm ready to dedicate myself to improving Monte Lobo for the good of all, not just those who live in the hacienda." I wave a hand toward the log book. "I'm starting with the finances. Some things don't add up, but I'm going to track where our money is going. Our pack should have greater wealth to make improvements here. Plumbing and electricity for everyone, for starters."
Again, I sense suspicion. Or maybe it's skepticism. How can I fault them? I'm unproven as an alpha.
I try one last time. "My door is open. If you have anything to report, or request, visit me at the hacienda. I want to hear from you."
A few men nod.
I incline my head slightly and turn to walk out of the mine, with the weight of at least twenty pairs of eyes on me.
"Señor!" someone calls as I step into the sun. I shield my eyes, blinking until I make out the weathered face. It's Marisol, the old farmer Paco's wife.
"Don Carlos, welcome home." She bobs a curtsey.
"Señora," I greet her. At least someone is glad to see me.
She steps closer. "My husband tells me not me to bother you, but..." She trails off, biting her lip.
"You are one of my pack. You are always welcome to approach me."
The older wolf studies me. I catch a whiff of her emotions-worry, resignation, a tinge of something more than nervousness. Terror?
"You have nothing to fear from me," I emphasize.
"Your father-he was a good wolf," she whispers. "He wanted what's best for the pack. And you-you are like him. We see him in you."
I didn't expect this, so I stay silent.
She drops her gaze, shoulders hunching in submission. "I don't mean any disrespect, alpha."
"Marisol." I touch her shoulder. "I am grateful you spoke. I hope to honor my father's memory." I search for the words. "I also want what's best for the pack. Not a few wolves, but all of them. I promise I will work hard to be the alpha you deserve." I lean close. "Things are going to change around here. For the better." Whether the council likes it or not. One day, the pack might rally behind me. Until then, I will work to win their trust.
The hope on Marisol's face tells me that day might soon come.
"Bless you, Don Carlos," she whispers, dropping another curtsey. I let her slip away.
I meant every word I said. Now all I can do is fulfill my promises.
Even if I don't have the motivation of making things perfect for Sedona.
Even if I'm not sure how my heart will go on beating without her.
I will throw myself into my work and make a difference for my pack. And someday, maybe, I can try again with my lovely mate.
Sedona
My father and I drive two hours up to Flagstaff to visit Rosa, the shifter from Mexico. I fiddle with the radio, but every station gives me a headache. For four days I've lived in a stupor. The pregnancy makes me tired-I sleep fifteen hours a night-but some of the fatigue must be depression.
I see the worried glances my parents exchange when they think I'm not looking. Everyone treats me like I'm made of glass. It's exactly what I didn't want when I first came back from Mexico. Fates, I feel even worse now than I did then.
I was confused, then. Now I'm wrecked. Carlos ruined me for all other males. Ruined me for love. I seriously don't see any light in my future.
No, that's not true. I have this baby to look forward to. At least that gives me purpose.
We pull up to a tiny cabin out in the woods. It's a sweet domicile for a wolf-all of Flagstaff is, a small town surrounded by mountains and woods.
A short, sturdy Latina woman comes out onto the wooden porch, wiping her hands on a dishcloth. She watches me get out of the car with a steady gaze.