Every minute with my mind turning over our last moment together. I hate that she thinks I might be a part of the council's idiotic obsession with my future offspring. I hate knowing Don Santiago triggered the trauma of her ordeal again.
But now I know with complete certainty-it's impossible for us to be together. I could never bring her back here. All she would remember is the evil done to her.
A growl starts up in my throat. I should've killed every member of the council the moment they set us free. Am I such a coward to turn away from murder?
I scrub my face, but it does nothing to clear the cobwebs hanging over my eyes. If only I could find my way out of this legacy of gloom.
Juanito runs out to meet me, his childish face, sometimes appearing so old with the burdens he carries, shines. "Don Carlos!" He skids to a stop, reaches enthusiastically for my suitcase. I let him take it, not because he's a servant and I think it's his job, but because denying him would cause disappointment.
I ruffle his hair. "What's new, my friend?"
The boy shrugs. "Nothing. Did you bring your female back? They said you would."
The hole in my chest blows open even wider. "No. She can't return here. She would never forgive the council for taking her prisoner."
Juanito looks up at me. "Do you?"
"No." I don't. And I should really clean house-throw them all out at the very least. But I don't know if I have any allies here, apart from my nine-year-old friend.
Juanito nods, like he expected that answer. "Me neither." He pushes open my bedroom door and leaves the suitcase.
I sigh and go to see my mother. The sooner I get that visit over with, the sooner I can get out and walk the land. Hope the answers somehow come to me.
Tomorrow, heads will roll. Even if one of them ends up being my own.
~.~
Sedona
It was easier to get a flight to Phoenix than Tucson, so that's where I go, calling my mom to pick me up from the airport.
The moment I see her, I'm like a child again. I burst into tears and throw myself into her arms while she lets out a stream of mother babble. "Fates, Sedona, I've been so worried-are you all right?-are you hurt?-what did they do to you?-tell me everything."
I pull away and dash at my tears with the back of my hand. "I'm marked and pregnant. I thought I might be in love, but it's not going to work out. So I'm home."
"For good?" My mom can't hide her joy. Of course she would love to have a grandpup around to spoil.
"I don't know, mom." The tears start again. "I don't know what to do."
She bustles me out to the car, where my dad's waiting by the curb. He gets out and gives me a bear hug, and for once, says nothing. Maybe I hurt him by going with Garrett after the Mexico thing.
No, that's stupid. My dad doesn't get hurt. He's probably trying to give me space. First time for everything.
He takes my suitcase and throws it in the trunk.
"Sedona's pregnant," my mom whispers as I climb in the back seat. Great.
My dad climbs in and pulls into traffic. "You okay, baby?"
I swallow and nod. "Yeah."
"Are they after you?"
A chill runs through me. Are they? Did they send Carlos to bring me back and when he failed, went themselves? Or again, is Carlos really the mastermind behind the Breed Sedona Project?
No. I know in my bones he isn't. He can't be. My instincts aren't that off.
"I don't know, Daddy," I admit. "Maybe. Or they will be when they find out about the pup."
"You'll stay here, then. Where I can protect you."
I bristle even though I knew that's what he'd say, and I truly need his protection. It's just that he doesn't ask, he orders.
"Garrett can protect me," I say stubbornly, even though I don't want to return to Tucson. Not now, anyway. There's nothing for me there.
But there's nothing for me here, either.
And there wasn't much for me in Europe until Carlos showed up.
Hell. Is this what it's like to have your heart broken? Life without your lover is nothing but shit?
Will this feeling of loss and loneliness ever go away? Can I find meaning again? Maybe with our child. Fates, I hope I can kick this overwhelming sadness before he or she comes.
My dad gives a non-committal snort. I seriously hope he's not insinuating the reason I was kidnapped was because Garrett didn't do a good enough job. He starts the car and lurches out into traffic. "We've been looking into things. Your brother killed the men who kidnapped you, but they weren't the wolves in charge. There's someone bigger. No one knows his identity, but he's called The Harvester. He buys wolves-other shifters too."
"What does he do with them?" My voice is hoarse.
"It's unclear. None of The Disappeared have returned, except for you."
Something tickles my consciousness, my instincts gunning, and I rub a spot on my arm. I remember the blood there after I bumped into the group of humans on Las Ramblas. I grip my arm and examine the area. There's nothing there. Why would that memory surface now?
My blood. Had someone wanted my blood? Had that crowd of jostling humans been an excuse to draw a sample of blood from me? But why?
Duh. To see if I'm pregnant. But was that the council or the Harvester? Probably the council.
"I think they are after me, Daddy." My voice sounds so hoarse I don't recognize it.
"Who? Your mate or his pack? Or both?"
"I-I don't know. His pack, I think." Sickness twists in my belly. I put a hand over my abdomen, sending a secret message of safety to my baby.
I won't let them have you.