71

71
Carden’s P.O.V.

The morning air was cool and crisp, the early light filtering through the trees casting shadows across the pack’s grounds. This place had always been my anchor, a constant reminder of what I was fighting for, but lately, even the familiar sounds of the forest weren’t enough to steady me.

I had done everything possible to keep my focus on the pack’s safety, to distance myself from my feelings for Aria. But no matter how hard I tried, thoughts of her found a way to creep in, whether I was training, on patrol, or even lying awake at night. The tension between us was impossible to ignore, and every time I caught a glimpse of her—like yesterday, as she issued that firm command—it reminded me of what I couldn’t have.

And yet, I knew I couldn’t walk away from these feelings. Aria had tried to set boundaries, to pull away, but nothing seemed to dull the pull between us. I couldn’t let go, and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to.

As I made my way back from the training grounds, I saw Raven by the gardens, talking to a group of pack members. She smiled and laughed at something they said, but there was an intensity in her eyes whenever her gaze landed on me, a sense of expectation that was hard to ignore. It had been like this for days—her patience with me felt unshakable, almost as if she were waiting for something.

I nodded in her direction and continued toward my cabin, but the image of her lingered in my mind. Raven was unwavering, always supportive, but lately, something about her patience seemed... deliberate. It was as though she sensed my inner turmoil but chose not to confront it, almost as if she had a plan of her own.

I couldn’t deny that part of me was grateful she hadn’t pressed me for answers or confronted me about my feelings for Aria. But her patience also felt like a trap—a silent reminder of how much I owed her, of the weight of her loyalty. And that weight only made the guilt inside me grow heavier.

\---

Inside my cabin, I sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through my hair as I tried to clear my mind. I was Alpha; I needed to stay focused. This constant back-and-forth in my head was making it harder to lead, harder to see clearly.

A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts, and I looked up, half-expecting to see Raven. Instead, it was Aiden, his usual easygoing expression replaced with a look of concern.

“Hey,” he greeted, stepping inside. “You got a minute?”

“Yeah, come on in,” I replied, motioning for him to sit. “What’s up?”

Aiden settled into the chair across from me, folding his hands in his lap. “I’ve noticed you seem… distracted lately. And honestly, the rest of the pack is picking up on it too. Is everything alright?”

I tensed, feeling a familiar discomfort at being so transparent. Aiden was one of my closest friends, but I hadn’t told anyone the full extent of what was going on. Still, if anyone deserved an answer, it was him.

“It’s… complicated,” I admitted, glancing down. “Things with the pack, with Kane… it’s all a lot to carry.”

Aiden nodded, his gaze steady. “I get that. But I don’t think that’s all it is.” He paused, studying my expression. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with Aria, would it?”

I froze, my hands tightening into fists as I tried to keep my expression neutral. But I knew Aiden could see right through it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Aiden sighed, his expression softening. “Carden, I’ve known you long enough to see when something’s eating at you. I don’t mean to pry, but I think you owe it to yourself to be honest. Whatever it is between you and Aria… it’s not going away, is it?”

I looked away, the truth pressing down on me. “No. It’s not,” I admitted, my voice rough. “But that doesn’t mean I can act on it. We’re both with other people. This isn’t something I can let interfere with the pack.”

Aiden leaned back, crossing his arms. “I get that. But bottling it up isn’t going to help either. The pack needs an Alpha who’s clear-headed, who’s not constantly fighting an inner battle. If Aria’s weighing on your mind that much, you need to find a way to address it, or it’s going to eat you alive.”

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. He was right, of course. But every time I thought about having that conversation with Aria, about facing the reality of what was between us, it felt like stepping over a line I wasn’t ready to cross.

“I’ll figure it out,” I said finally, my voice heavy with the weight of the promise. “Thanks for looking out for me, Aiden.”

He nodded, giving me a reassuring smile. “That’s what I’m here for. Just remember, you don’t have to carry this alone. The pack trusts you, and we’re all here to support you, no matter what.”

As he left, I sat in silence, his words echoing in my mind. He was right—I couldn’t keep bottling this up. I had to find a way to resolve it, one way or another.

\---

The next few days passed in a blur, each one a test of my resolve as I tried to navigate the responsibilities of being Alpha while dealing with my unresolved feelings for Aria. I focused on the pack, on keeping things running smoothly, but there was a tension building inside me, one that was becoming harder to ignore.

One evening, as I was finishing up a patrol around the borders, I caught sight of Aria near the edge of the forest. She was standing alone, her gaze fixed on the horizon, lost in thought. Without thinking, I walked over to her, drawn to her presence like a magnet.

“Couldn’t sleep?” I asked softly as I came to a stop beside her.

She glanced at me, a faint smile on her lips. “Something like that. I needed some air.”

We stood in silence for a moment, the weight of everything unsaid hanging between us. It was a familiar tension, one that had become a constant presence whenever we were together.

“I know we agreed to keep our distance,” I said finally, breaking the silence. “But I can’t pretend this is easy, Aria. Every day, it feels like I’m fighting myself.”

She looked down, her expression conflicted. “I know what you mean,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “But we made a choice, Carden. We both agreed it was the right thing to do.”

“I know,” I replied, my voice rough. “But that doesn’t make it any easier. I… I can’t let go, Aria. No matter how hard I try.”

She turned to face me, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and longing. “Neither can I,” she said softly. “But we can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep letting our feelings cloud our judgment.”

I took a step closer, the distance between us shrinking. “So what are we supposed to do, Aria? Pretend this doesn’t exist? Act like we’re nothing more than Alpha and pack member?”

Her gaze held mine, steady and unwavering. “Maybe that’s exactly what we need to do,” she said, her voice firm. “For the sake of the pack, for Raven and Warren… for us.”

The finality in her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I could see the resolve in her eyes, the determination to keep her distance, to stick to the boundaries we’d set. It hurt, more than I cared to admit, but I couldn’t argue with her logic.

She was right. We had responsibilities, obligations that went beyond our feelings. But that didn’t mean I was ready to give up on her, to let go of what we had.

“Alright,” I said finally, my voice steady. “If that’s what you want.”

She nodded, her expression softening. “It’s not what I want, Carden. But it’s what we need.”

We stood there for a moment longer, the silence between us filled with everything we weren’t saying. And as much as it hurt, I knew that this was the only way forward.

But deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t the end. Not for us.

\---

The silence stretched between us, and I could feel the weight of our choice pressing down, heavy and unrelenting. There was a part of me that wanted to reach out, to bridge the gap that had formed between us, but I knew that would only make things harder—for both of us. So, instead, I forced myself to take a step back, the distance echoing the choice we had just made.

Aria’s eyes softened as she looked at me, a small, sad smile gracing her lips. “Maybe, in another life, things would have been different,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “But we have to do what’s right, even if it hurts.”

The ache in my chest was unbearable, but I nodded, understanding that we were both bound by a duty that went beyond what either of us wanted. "Then we’ll keep going, one day at a time,” I replied, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me. “And if the time ever comes… we’ll know.”

She held my gaze, her expression filled with a mixture of hope and acceptance, before she finally turned to leave. As she walked away, I stood there, the cool night air sharp against my skin, and reminded myself that sometimes, holding back was the greatest act of love.

But I made a silent promise as I watched her disappear into the trees. No matter how much we tried to ignore it, no matter how many boundaries we set, my feelings for Aria weren’t something I would ever truly let go of.