Chapter 79

He removes my hands from his neck and puts distance in between us. "You don't understand Bel." Bel, my mother used to call me that but that was past. "Then make me" I give back.

He gets off the bed walks around in a circle like he is trying to control himself. Like he is trying to find the right words to tell me. I scoot closer to the edge and let my legs dangle of the bed. Patiently waiting for him to compose himself for the grand news he is about to tell me.

He takes another round then kneels in front of me, he holds my knees and rubs them a little. As much as this is a comforting gesture I fear it wasn't to comfort me. He sighs and takes a deep breath, he looks me in the eye and I could almost see tears. His eyes were glazed.

"All I just want is you to promise me Bella, promise me you are going to trust me. Even if you don't love me trust me an promise to wait for me ok Bella.

What on earth was he talking about, I thought I already trusted him. Did I need to trust him before I initiated the mating? It did make a lot of sense. He looked so tense, I had to ease some from him.

"But of course Aiden, I promise to trust and wait for you" whatever that meant. I slide my palm on his chest feeling how each fingers rises as it goes over a hard ridge on his abdomen. A Greek god personified.

At this time I probably should be worried about the pups and the phone call but we had plenty of time to discuss it. Right now didn't seem like the good time to bring this up. I didn't want to make Aiden more agitated, it would break me to see all his manliness crumble right in front of him. Like any man, I'm sure he would like to keep his pride and rather not let his wife see him shake.

The words I say ultimately melts his tenseness away. Like the way butter would melt once touches with an open flame from a blow torch. I kiss him then, it just felt right to, gosh his lips.

We kiss for a long while Aiden not letting me accelerate the pace so that we could get to other boundaries. He wouldn't even let my hands slip lower than his waist. What was this, was he denying me? Was this what he meant when he said I should trust him?

"What the hell Aiden? What the meaning of this, are you still mad at me for not eating? I'm sorry if it's that.

"No it isn't" he says as he tries to get up, I hold his hands so that he does not rise up to his feet. Why was he acting strange? He was fine yesterday when he came back and in that space of time he has spent it with me asleep. This didn't make any sense.

I look at him intensely, I knew he was going to get my silent question clear as crystal since it seemed to be his super power. Then from nowhere he turns angry.

"Don't you understand that I won't touch you?" he raises his voice. I was triggered. Aiden has never raised his voice on me, heated conversations yes but yelling at me? Oh he done it, it was as if he set off an alarm in my head. I no longer had control over what I did or what I said. It was a mash up of screams and yells and a little bit of hands.

I wasn't a violent person, in whatever situation I found myself in I was not a violent person but today I was drove to do just that just now. Of course my violence would be deemed petty and un harmful in the eyes of the almighty ruthless Alpha. He was made and built for this stuff. What was a slap here and there for him.

To prove me right he carries me and throws me to the bed when he is fed up with little hand pats.

"Is this what you want?" he keeps saying but I was too much in my head to really notice. He jumps on top of me and lands perfectly between my legs. He nudges my knees apart with a force that jerks me higher on the bed. There was something about his anger that I could not point out, but it seemed off to me. He was angry so it appeared.

While I was overthinking about matter that weren't even in my hands, Aiden makes quick work of proving his point. There was no love to this, this I could tell even before the act itself begins.

In no time he was in me ploughing as though he did not care a single drop for me. I was subject to his maneuvers and I couldn't do anything but suck it up and take it. It was what I asked for isn't it.

While I lay there in bed and let him take me in whatever way he could conjure I couldn't help but have this deep feeling as though he was distancing himself from me. Like he was setting boundaries and saying good bye, in a bad way, it felt like it was in a bad way.

He ruthlessly kept pounding and ponding to the point that it was not giving me any pleasure, it was hurting me, but how do I tell him that it hurts when it all happened because we were having an argument, wasn't this part of the same argument?

Whatever it was it did not feel nice. By the looks of it also hurt him but he looked like he was in a trans, like he was just acting subconsciously and from what I remembered I think it was best I let him do what he can and when he was done maybe this little mess would have been sorted out. What was a little of some pain after all.