Chapter 36: Thirty Six

Cassidy spoke as if she was in disbelief at first, her voice wavering before the relief washed in and she relaxed under James. The dream had been so real to her as if she had actually been there again at the fight and was feeling everything she did as a child and then some. She searched his eyes and then his face, frowning at the clawed marks across his jaw and down his neck, her brows coming together in concern and worry. “James? Did you get hurt by a rogue?” she asked, wiggling her hand free as he relaxed his grip on her wrists, reaching up and touching the edge of one of the scratches.

He had released her hands, but he was far too comfortable laying on top of her to remove his weight from her body. James flinched slightly by the sting of her touching the wound she just inflicted and gave a low grunt as he captured her hand with his. He brought her fingers to his mouth and gently kissed the tips of them. “No… There were no rogues in the territory that we could see. You were a little combative when I woke you up. Are you alright?” he asked in a hushed tone.

Heat rose up in her cheeks when James kissed her fingers and she stared at his mouth for a moment before he asked if she was alright or not. There was a look of fear in Cassidy’s eyes before she looked away from him and shook her head. “No… I mean yes. I am alright. It was just a bad dream is all.” She said in a hushed tone but quickly had her chin gripped by strong fingers and her face brought back to James’.

“It didn't sound like just a dream. You don't try to maim people from just a dream.” James said, his thumb gentling rubbing over her chin briefly. “Do you want to talk about the dream?” he asked.

Cassi blinked at James when he asked if she wanted to talk about the dream. Through every dream and nightmare she had before, no one had ever asked her if she wanted to talk about her dream. Jett had never asked her about what went on within them either. He had always been more concerned with damage control and getting her to calm down. She reached up and placed her hand against his chest, giving him a little push. “If I can breathe better, I will share.” She said, looking down where he was mostly laying on top of her from trying to keep her from fighting. Her gentle push worked like a charm and James looked a little flushed when he too realized he was laying on top of her still. He slid off to the side of her, stretching himself our and wrapping one arm around her waist while propping his head on his hand, waiting for her to share.

“Ah… Where to start…” Cassidy said a little nervously as she wiggled a little against his side to get comfortable.

“The beginning is always a good place.” James said and got an elbow to his middle that forced a chuckle from him.

“Fine… The beginning.” Cassi said and dropped her gaze from him, biting her lower lip for a moment in indecision. “I… I’ve always had horrible nightmares since the last big attack when my grandfather was killed by the rogues. I would have them almost every night until I just stopped sleeping for as long as I could stand it. Jett started to get me sleeping medicine when I was too frightened to sleep.” She told him, blinking for a moment in distraction as James began to lightly rub his thumb against her side in an attempt to comfort her. “You are not the first person Ive attacked coming out of the dream. Jett has been at the wrong end of the stick when waking me up more than his fair share of times.”

“It is good that he has always been there for you Cassidy, but what about the dream tonight?” James asked quietly, patiently waiting for her to get the courage to relive it.

Sighing softly, Cassidy gave a small shrug of her shoulder and crossed her arms to hug herself. “Most of my dreams always start the night my brother and my parents were killed. The rogues came that night… I was a child still. They caught everyones homes on fire to create a panic, even our pack house. It always starts with either me waking up in my smoke filled room, or outside after my brother got me out of the house. Everything is always so real… its like I can feel, see and smell everything I experienced back then. Then sometimes my dream just repeats. Sometimes I go on to dream of the second attack and then the third. Tonights dream…” she paused and became troubled looking, her heartbeat picking up in speed.

James couldn't imagine what it could be like to lose his parents. They were no longer the alphas in the pack, but they were incredibly respected by everyone, even loved on a pack level. He and his brothers depended on them for their advice and guidance still. When Cassidy trailed off about the dream she had just had tonight, he gave her a little squeeze of her waist. “Tonights dream?”

Cassidy didn't want to talk about this with him. Let alone anyone else. She feared the pain it brought to her, the anger and absolute sadness that brought heartache every single time she remembered her family. Tonights dream however was completely different than anything else she had ever experienced before. “Tonights dream… My wolf was in it. I don't think Ive dreamed since you had us locked in that prison. But she was in the dream tonight. It started like normal… My brother was there, yelling at me to run to the safe house, but then my wolf just goes trotting by as if the nightmare was nothing to be upset about.” She said with a frown. “Ive never seen my wolf in a dream before. Is it normal?” she asked looking up at James.

Raising an eyebrow when Cassidy asked if it was normal to see her wolf, he pressed his lips together for a brief moment in thought before shaking his head. “I have dreamt as my wolf before. As if I was in my wolfs form and running the land or something. My wolf has never been a separate entity. Did your wolf talk to you?” he asked and when Cassidy nodded, he probed further. “And what did she say?”

She lowered her eyes again and took a steady breath. “She took me through our village.” She said and her voice cracked a little, remembering the way everyone was frozen in time, the scent of blood and smoke in the air. “Everyone was frozen in time… My entire pack was outnumbered and running for their lives, fighting or collapsing when their loved ones links went dead. I had never witnessed any of this before since I always ran. She said I was blessed when I was born, thats why she was given to me. Something about how when I dream I am supposed to see what others don't.” She said and frowned. “I don't understand what she meant other than to be able to move around and see everyone I love dying in front of my eyes.”

“We can ask the elder tomorrow if you would like. She may be able to give you some insight on what it means to see your wolf like that and what her words meant.” James offered to Cassidy. “She may be old, blind, deaf and insane but she has the most knowledge in the pack about anything.”He was fond of the packs elder, the she-wolf had a no nonsense way of living and teaching and would probably have the answers Cassidy needed. He shifted against her, wrapping his right arm more securely around her middle and using his left hand to gently play with her hair. “So. What did your wolf do in your dream other than some mysterious information saying you were blessed?”

Cassidy went still and quiet when James made himself more comfortable and started to play with her hair, she glancing up at him when he asked what else the wolf had done. Her mind went back to that point when she started to run when everything came back to life. How she was rubber banded right back to witness her fathers death, feel that double edged sword of his link and the packs breaking with his death. Her brows knitted together and she closed her eyes when the fresh sting of tears burned behind her lashes. No matter how old she was, the pain never lessened. “She kept bringing me back.” She said in a shaken voice, seeing the visions of her nightmare in her mind when she tried to run. Her father fighting, the rogue holding her mother down to watch, running and repeating. “I watched my father die by the rogues… while they held mother down… and… and I just ran. She kept bringing me back… Over and over.” She whispered before she let the dam break.

She had never told anyone what her dreams were of. What she had to experience over and over every time she closed her eyes. Jett had trained her to be a fighter. To shut off her emotions in difficult situations even if she was rarely able to have that much control. Still, she never let Jett see how much her nightmares truly affected her. Her heart hurt and her breathing picked up just as tears spilled from her eyes. “I'm sorry…” she whispered, turning towards James slightly to push away from him to get out of his arms. Instead, she found herself engulfed in James’ arms and pulled tightly up against his body.

“Dont.” James whispered in a voice that was gruff as he struggled to contain his wolf and himself when Cassidy got so upset so suddenly.