“I want what my Alpha wants and you are promised to him. Not me,” she said.
“Why don’t we talk to father about it? Maybe he would make an exception.”
“And go back on his word?” Ava said shrilly. “Never. An Alpha who goes back on his word isn’t meant to be an Alpha at all. Since when do you question your duties? We’ve been raised for this. You’ve known longer than I have that you were promised to the Alpha, to Alpha Ethan. Why are you…. it’s that boy, isn’t it?” Ava asked.
“Man. He’s a man.”
“He’s no man. Ethan is twice the man he’ll ever be. I saw you with him. Who is he?” Ava asked. When I didn’t say anything, she was up off the bed and behind me in a minute. I didn’t look at her, I only continued to stare at my reflection. “Tell me who he is, Adealine!” My lips were closed.
“Ethan is your mate, Ethan is your Alpha. Ethan is our King. Let’s not forget that! I need to know who the boy is, Adealine!” She was yelling in my ear now. I could feel spittle as it splashed across my cheek.
“Get out, Ava.”
“What?” She asked.
“Get out of my room. Now.”
“How dare-”
“How dare you!” I yelled as I turned around and jumped to my feet. We were nose to nose as I glared at her. “Get out of my room now before I force you out!”
“Dinner is in fifteen minutes! I am your escort!”
“I will not be going down to dinner, so you do NOT need to escort me anywhere! I don’t care what you want but if you wait any longer, I’m going to throw you out.” Shock crossed her face before she huffed.
“Father will not be pleased,” She said through gritted teeth.
“Nothing I do pleases him,” I whispered.
She didn’t even blink. She felt nothing for me. She turned her back on me and walked towards the door.
“This will only be harder on you if you don’t obey him. It’s better for me to be here than him,” she said as she faced the door.
“After what happened earlier, I’m sure they will understand why I couldn’t make it,” I said.
She paused. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t ask about what happened. She didn’t even nod her head. She opened the door and walked out. I ran and closed the door behind her. I didn’t bother holding back my sobs as I bolted the door. I turned from the door, my back against the wood, and slid down to my backside. The dam broke free and the tears fell of their own volition now. I threw my head back against the door and stared out the window. The clouds were gray and it was starting to rain. I could taste it in the air. The sound of rain filled the room as it started to fall down hard. It was soothing in a way, the sound of rain as it washed everything away. I scrambled to my feet and pushed off the door. When I was by the window, I extended my hand out and sighed as the cold rain splashed and dripped down my fingers. I pushed my hand further out and I felt clean as the rain washed the dirt on my arm.
There was movement near the field and my gaze dropped down. Out of the field came a big black wolf. I couldn’t look away. It looked up at me and held me captive in its gaze. It was powerful yet dangerous. The wolf shifted and in its place stood Ethan. He was naked, his head tilted back as the rain washed down his body. He was soaked. He looked back up at me and I held my chin high. I wasn’t going to look away. I wasn’t going to cower under his gaze. That’s what he wanted. I would be damned if I did a single thing that he wanted. If only I could find my mate. I watched as Ethan walked toward the packhouse entrance. They would give him clothing when he entered.
If only I could find my mate.
I wanted to laugh. What would finding my mate do? It would only break my heart more than it needed to. I didn’t want to find my mate. A part of me did but a bigger part of me knew that I wouldn’t be able to get away. I wouldn’t be able to live after knowing him. I didn’t want to feel the burden of the mate bond as another took me. If I never found my mate, I could deal with this. I could deal with my fate. I could deal with the life I was to live. Three years of freedom were all I had left. I wasn’t going to fool myself into believing my mate could save me. I would enjoy the next three years as much as I could. Ethan wanted my purity?
I shook my head. Never. He wouldn’t get it. I wouldn’t let it. I wouldn’t give it to him. He didn’t deserve it. The one thing he wanted was the one thing I wouldn’t give him. He could go to hell. I’d drag him there myself if I had to. He wouldn’t be touching my virginity, he wouldn’t take it, he sure as hell wouldn’t be claiming it. I would give it away.
Yes. I would choose who got it. I didn’t care if it was looked down on. Women were expected to save it for their mates while men were off sleeping with whoever they wanted to. No. I wouldn’t. I smiled. I could already see the look on his face. Goddess, what a look it would be. I was already excited to see it. Imagine what he’ll think when he tries to take what isn’t there. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to squeal. I didn’t think about what he would do to me because I’m sure it will hurt but I can’t wait to see the look on his face. He may take me in the end. He may claim me night after night. I may give him pups but that… that he won’t have. I’ll choose. I smiled widely as I looked out the window. Tonight, I hoped Shane visited me. I was going to tell him about my plan. I wonder what he’d think of it? I’m sure he would like it. What man wouldn’t?