JUNIPER'S POV:
"You know what? I do not even care what Cillian has done." My chest feels heavy as I stare at him.
I cannot tell what weighs me down the most-the fact that I gave him all of me and he didn't deem me worthy of knowing the truth about him, or the constant manipulation. He tampered with my memory for two months, and the ache in my chest feels like it will drown me.
"Why?" The word manages to leave my mouth as I stare at him with teary eyes.
The moment he questioned the authenticity of my tears flashes through my mind, sending fresh jabs to my chest. My tears begin to flow uncontrollably as I crash onto the couch.
Hiram moves to hold me, but I don't let him.
"Please don't," I say in a small voice, looking up at his face. "You don't really love me, do you?"
Never in my life did I think I would question his love for me. He made everything seem fine while he was erasing my memories.
"I don't even have a choice," he answers, and I scoff. "You're my mate, Juniper, and even if I didn't want to, I couldn't stop loving you."
That didn't sound consoling. It made things worse. Staying here makes me feel worse, and I know I can no longer stay. Leaving him hurts, but being manipulated for so long is a different kind of pain, so I rise to my feet.
"We shouldn't do this anymore." My heart shatters into pieces, as though the words didn't come from my mouth.
My eyes search his, and I watch as time seems to freeze for him. Then he reaches for me, shaking his head.
"June, no, we can't…" He struggles to form a full sentence. "You think I'm a monster? You're breaking up with me because of who I am, and what I am?"
"No, Hiram," I say, my breath shaky. "I'm breaking up with you for all the lies and manipulation. You didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Worse, you made me look stupid all this time. I've been trying to figure out the truth about wolves, and you watched me suffer. During the break at Miami, you did me dirty, and you went about like nothing was wrong. What kind of love is that?" I ask in a small voice.
"I was only trying to protect you."
"Protect me from what?!" My voice comes out harsh, almost drawing the last bit of breath I have. "You left me wandering like a crazy person. You left me with all those…" I pause, trying to breathe as I feel the air around leaving my lungs. "All those nightmares! You don't love me!"
His eyes redden, and I watch him struggle to hold back tears.
"Please… please don't say that, June." He pleads, pulling me to his chest, but as my head rests against it, I don't feel warmth.
I feel suffocated, and all I want is to get away from him. He's hurt me too much, and I don't see staying with him as wise.
"Please," he begs, caressing my head gently.
"You've hurt me so much, Hiram. And that person I saw last week-that was you. Coupled with this, I… I can't do this anymore." I feel a hot liquid on my shoulder as I speak. I try to look up, but he presses me hard against his body, not wanting me to see him.
"You can't even let me see you because you don't trust that I'll give you emotional security. God, Hiram, what is this?" I choke out. Then he lets go of me, and I look at his reddened eyes.
It hurts to see him hurt, but he didn't hesitate before doing this to me. I know I have to let go. I reach for his face, running my thumb under his eyes. Feeling his tears on my palm breaks me more.
"I'm sorry, but I just can't." I withdraw my hand at once, then grab my bag from the couch.
He grabs my hand before I can take a step.
"Please, June, I'm sorry. I swear I'll never keep anything from you. I thought I was protecting you, and…"
"Please stop, Hiram! I hate what you're doing to me-the emotional manipulation. I can't even imagine what it'll be like to regain the memories you erased," I say, but he still doesn't let go of my hand.
Before I can speak further, he gets on his knees, wrapping his arms around me, resting his head on my belly. I feel my heart ripping into pieces, but I know what I feel.
I need space, at least to think. I'm tired of begging and fighting to have an actual place in his life.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask, and he buries his face in my belly, clawing at my back with his hands.
"My whole life, I've lived authentically, and everyone complains about it. My mother thinks I'm wasting my life. I lost the only person who ever believed in me, and as for you… you were too good to be true. I never believed I could love anyone except my parents and siblings until I met you, and I didn't want to lose you. I feared you wouldn't love me if you knew who I was because no one has ever loved me fully for who I am."
"Hiram, no," I say, shaking my head. "I just can't do this. I'm grateful you cared for me in your own way, and you came through for me in ways I couldn't believe, but you've hurt me too much."
"I know, and I just want one more chance."
"I gave you all the chances you needed. Every single time, I gave them to you. But other people deserved to know you inside and out-not me. That isn't love. I'm not some child you can keep secrets from. I begged you to open up to me, but you never did. It's like this relationship is all about sex…"
"Please don't say it," he begs, and I pause, my chest rising and falling heavily.
My breathing becomes labored, and I feel as though I need an inhaler to help me breathe.
"Please, don't reject me. I don't think I'll survive it. I can't lose you, June, and…"
"I won't reject you. That's your reward for being good to me. It does nothing to me but makes me want you, but I can learn to live with that. I've been through worse-a dead father, a boyfriend who cheated on me, multiple sexual harassments, finding out I'm from a line of werewolves, and my boyfriend wiping my memory."
Saying it all aloud makes me realize he sounds worse than Cillian.
"God, you sound worse than him. You sound worse than Cillian. No, Hiram." I say, then I grab his hands, pulling them away from my body.
He remains there on the floor, his head bent, as I take a few steps away from him.
"This hurts me as much as it hurts you, but I think it's best for me." Knowing this is probably the last time I'll see him makes it worse. A part of me feels like this is a mistake, but my aching heart thinks otherwise.
"Goodbye, Hiram. I'll love you forever."