Chapter 46: Part 46

Stepping in, I felt so utterly out of place despite visiting his flat earlier. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Avon nervously shifting on his feet, smoothing his sides, but I couldn't focus on that. All that was whirring through my head was that I didn't belong here, legs refusing to take another step forward.

I opened my mouth and tried to even out my breathing but still couldn't seem to get enough air into my lungs. Stepping closer to the centre of the room, carpet swallowing the sound, I willed myself to calm down, and somehow it worked.

On top of a coffee table were what looked like several magazines, primarily interior ones, and I digested all of them in seconds, brows furrowed.

"Excuse the mess," Avon said. "I was planning on brightening up my living room."

"Sounds good."

"Believe me; it's not. Too much work, but I want to get started for a while now."

I hummed at the Alpha as he quickly walked towards the alley leading to his kitchen. I exhaled as soon as I was all alone, shoulders sagging. What was this weird feeling?

"Are you okay with wine, Emma?"

"Sure."

Avon came out with two glasses of wine, a grin on his face. "The dinner is ready. I hope you like pasta."

"I do!"

As he led me towards the dining table, I plopped down, teeth gnawing on the inside of my lip. My back went rigid as he pulled the chair closer to me, a giddy smile playing on his lips. I hesitantly glanced up from beneath my lashes; mouth pressed in a thin line.

“I hope you like it….”

He served both of them before gesturing for me to start. I took a bite of the baked pasta, the creamy pink sauce flooding my mouth. An involuntarily moan slipped through my parted lips. Clamping a hand over my mouth, I gave him a sheepish look, “Sorry, it’s so good. Did you make this?”

“Yes.” He brightened up. “I am so glad you liked it. You can have the recipe if you want.”

“Thank you.”

“So…” I trailed after a while, twirling the past between my fork, knees bouncing. “What did you want to talk about?”

I saw his body going still for a second before Avon exhaled noisily, his hand loosening around the wine glass. “Uh…I don’t know how to say this….” The Alpha trailed, tucking his feet before facing me, reaching for my hand. His lips curved upwards, a lilt in his tone as he continued. “I like you, Emma. I don’t know when I started, but I do not remember anything before you. We met in the worst of the situation, but there’s nothing I would change about that night. So I am trying to say is…can I court you?”

I was grinding my teeth, chewing each bite of the pasta over and over until there was hardly anything left to swallow. The breath was knocked out of my lungs, my toes curling. My eyes focused on my feet, my face red and uncomfortable at the thought of going through with this. Of course. I should have known, but nothing prepared me for this. Abel’s face flashed in front; the words washed over me from earlier, which I ignored.

A lump formed in my throat as I stared at the person in front. Avon was a good friend; that’s all I ever thought about him.

“Umm…I-I am sorry….” My voice cracked, fingers digging into my thighs as I met his eyes. His expression changed, but I held my ground.

Colour drained his face as he slowly whispered, “W-Why are you apologising? Is there someone else?”

I bit the insides of my cheek at his question, watching as he stared at me in anticipation—a knot formed in the pit of my stomach, tightening with every passing second. I didn’t want to hurt my friend anymore, but there was no point hiding the truth from him.

“Y-Yes…there is someone else,” I said in a low tone, nose scrunching. “I am sorry, Avon if I did something to make you….”

“No!” He cut me off with a low chuckle, his body hunching forward and shaking his head. “Do not blame yourself. I-I just thought that…forget about it.” The Alpha awkwardly tugged on his thick locks. “I apologise if this made you uncomfortable….”

I touched his wrist only to have him jolt on the spot. Securing a grip on his hand, I met his eyes. “No…Don’t be sorry for being honest about how you feel.”

He shrugged.

“I wish I had a different answer for you, Avon.”

“It’s okay.” He shook his head, not meeting my eyes. “Let’s just eat.”

***

I had been sitting on the doorstep for a while before I heard the door creaking, then a few muffled steps, and a heavy jacket was dropped onto my shoulders. The dinner was awkward, to say the least.

Avon kept his distance and only spoke when I made an attempt, lost in thoughts. Then again, I couldn’t blame him, so I came back home on my own. He was devastated at the rejection but didn’t show it on his face in hopes that it would hurt me.

How did it get here? I thought to myself, replaying every single moment we spent together. I didn’t want to lose him as a friend, the kind of person who’s there for you no matter what. Avon has been so selfless and caring, funny and easy to be around.

Fingers reached out to still my moment, my hands engulfed and covered in warmth as Abel rubbed them between his. After everything that's already happened, I found this the most intimate moment.

“Why are you sitting here?” I watched as his long fingers traced over my knuckles. Dropping my chin, I turned my head to face him.

The soft light that spilt over from the slightly ajar door pronounced his features, and I wanted to spend hours following the sharp, perfect lines of his face. His hair was in disarray as if tugged on countless times, and his body was clad in a loose tee and joggers.

“He said he likes me.”

The words hung in the air, and I didn’t have to clarify anymore. Abel took a sharp breath, his body hovering above and the grip on my fingers tightening.

“Let’s talk about this inside.” He said without hesitation, and I was inclined to believe him, can't detect anything in his words. As soon as he closed the door, I followed the Alpha inside his bedroom.

We lay on the bed.

I was tired, and my body felt sore and heavy, uncertain about handling this situation. All I could think was to concentrate on getting my pulse back to normal and control my breathing until my bare chest rose and fell regularly. From down below, I watched shadows dance across the ceiling. Instead of looking at Abel, who’s unashamedly staring at me, I could tell.

My skin was prickling.

We never did this, lay next to each other in silence. This was new but fascinating. Silence stretched on for another handful of moments before the sheets rustled, and I felt his arm brush through my hair, pushing it out of my face, smoothing it back.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, and I was already familiar with the change in his voice, slightly deeper, on just the right side of rough. “Hmm?”

“I don’t know where to start….”

I let out a sigh. My brain was still stringing together phrases, not connected or related, not making much sense. Slowly tilting my head, I raised a brow at him.

It's warm in this room, in his bed, under the familiar sheets and with Abel’s body pressed to my side. "Well," He started, swallowing around the word while his fingers trailed to my side. “How about you tell me from the start? What did he say to you?”

I took a deep breath, my hands subconsciously clinging tighter onto the sheets. I wasn’t upset at his question, just feeling drained all of a sudden, a kind of exhaustion that was unrelated to the presence of the Alpha. Abel was lying behind me, still holding me against his chest, breathing steadily on my neck, the cold tip of his nose buried in my hair, not missing the way his fingers were trembling.

I fluttered my eyes shut and started narrating everything that happened with Avon, my voice cracking at the end.

“Oh…” Abel’s voice was quiet against my skin, oddly throaty. “Do you regret saying no?”

“I do not.” I shook my head. “But I also didn’t want to hurt him.”

“Give him some time; he will heal.”

“I hope so.”

My arms were trapped between our bodies, and I had no choice but to place my hands on his chest; my fingers started tracing along his collarbones, and somewhere in between, I fell asleep.

***