Chapter 27: TWENTY-SEVEN

J A D E

Few days turned into a week, and I had been ignoring Markov like the plague. He had kept to his word, and never pushed or pressed for answers, but it was slowly driving me crazy.

The bond was growing, and the need to be close to him was strong, but Mia was not giving in.

I had no idea what was wrong, and I couldn't reach her, no matter how hard I tried.

But, the weirdest thing was, I would feel her even if it was the slightest bit whenever I'm far away from Markov, but the moment he's around, or the moment we touch, she pulls back.

I didn't understand it, and no matter how much I tried, she just would not talk to me.

I was going insane, and I had no idea what to do.

"Jade..." A familiar voice called my name and I looked up to see Ava. I haven't seen her in a while, and I didn't realize just how much I'd missed her.

"Ava..." My voice shook, as she immediately walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

I was shocked to feel the wetness on my face, and I realized that I was indeed crying.

"I..uhh..I just.."

"Come on. Let's go outside for a walk." She pulled away and wiped the tears from my cheeks. She took my hand and led me outside, and I followed her without a second thought.

I didn't know why, but her presence was calming, and it made me feel safe.

She led me towards the beach, and the moment we were there, the waves hitting the shore, and the breeze was gentle.

She sat down, patting the sand next to her, and I sat down, burying my toes into the sand. It felt refreshing, a little shift from the constant turmoil that my mind has been in for the past week.

"Tell me what's wrong, Jade."

"I don't know where to begin, Ava. So much has happened. And I have no idea how to handle any of it."

"Well, start with the beginning."

"Coming here was supposed to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is. Meeting Markov was something I'd always dreamt of, always looked forward to and always hoped would happen. But, the moment we met, my wolf started acting strange.

"Whenever I'd feel the bond, the emotions, whenever I would want to be with him, my wolf would hide. It's like she doesn't want the same things as me, and I have no idea why. I have never had a problem communicating with her before, but now, it's as if she is purposely shutting me out, and I can't seem to find a reason for her behavior.

"She has always wanted us to have a mate, and now, that we finally have, and now, she is hiding from him, and not letting me feel anything. And the worst part is, that no matter how much I try, and no matter how much space and time I give her, she won't let me in. She won't let him in. She just wants to stay hidden and locked away, and I have no idea what the problem is, and I can't help her.

"The bond is growing, and I can't control it. I want to be with him. God, I want to be with him so much. I crave him. I want him. But, my wolf won't let me, and it's killing me. Do you understand how fucked up this whole situation is? And on top of that, I can't help but feel like there's a lot I don't know about my mate. Everyone seems to have an opinion about him, and they are never positive. Could everyone be lying about him too? How can someone who has supposedly done horrible things, and has had a dark past, be so caring and attentive to the point that I am willing to overlook everything just to be with him.

"Am I wrong? Should I trust my instincts, or should I trust everyone else? Why do I feel like I don't know the full story, and that I have to make a choice, and it has to be a quick one. Why does it feel like there was something my wolf can sense about him that I can't, which is why she's hiding? And what does that mean? I just...I can't handle this. Everything was perfect. I was finally starting to find peace, and I was happy, and now, this is happening.

"Why can't I have my happy ending? Am I not worthy of love, or is love not worthy of me? Is there a reason why I'm being punished for trying to have a normal life, and live the way a shifter should?"

"Take a deep breath, Jade. Calm down. Wow. This is a whole lot. I feel bad for not being there for you through all these. You mean your wolf has been rejecting the mating bond?"

"Yes. For months, it has been like this. But, the other day, after you guys came, I was so emotional and overwhelmed, and somehow Markov able to bring her out. I thought that was progress. She let me feel her. She let me feel her emotions, and I was so excited because she was finally talking to me, and it seemed like things would get better. But the moment I touched Markov, or she realized he was near, she would shut me out, and disappear. I have no idea what's going on. She didn't seem sick or unwell, and I have no idea how to handle any of it. On top of everything, Markov is keeping secrets, and he doesn't tell me anything. And yet, the feeling is so strong. The emotions, the attraction, the feelings are there, but my wolf won't respond. It's like, she's scared. Like she knows something I don't. And now, I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm being pulled apart.

"I want to be with him. The urge, the desire, it's so strong. But, my wolf is pulling back, and it hurts. It hurts more than anything. And no matter how much Markov says that we will figure it out, I can't help but feel that he is not being honest, and it's just hurting me even more. But And I just..I feel like I'm losing myself, and my wolf, and now, there's the issue of the fact that people have been saying stuff about him, and everyone has a different story. What should I believe, and what should I ignore? Is he a bad person, or is everyone else lying? I'm so tired, Ava."

The tears I've been holding back, started streaming down my face, and before I knew it, Ava pulled me into her arms, and I sobbed against her chest.

"It's okay, Jade. Let it all out. You have been through so much. Just cry. It's going to be okay."

"But, what if it's not, Ava? What if everything goes wrong? I'm blindly trusting him. I'm letting him in, and I'm giving him my heart, and there's a huge part of him that I'm not aware of. What if it's not enough?"

"Shhh...it's okay. You are doing what you think is best. No one can tell you what is right or wrong, and it is your decision to make. Jade, listen to me. You are the bravest woman I have ever met. You have been through hell, and no matter how much pain you had to endure, you picked yourself up, and you kept fighting. You've been so alone, and the world has done nothing but hurt you, and yet, you keep holding on, and you keep trying. You need to give yourself enough credit. Give your wolf time. She might still be trying to get over the past trauma you both went through, and she is still adjusting to the new environment. It will take time. But, she is still with you. You will figure it out. You always do."

"But, what if she doesn't want him? What if he's not the one for us?"

"You will find out soon enough, Jade. And you will have to make the choice. I can't tell you who to believe or not. Right now, I have no clue why your wolf is hiding, and why the bond has been rejected. I don't know what has happened between the two of you.

"But, the best advice I can give is to follow your heart. If the feelings are strong, if the love is real, you will know what to do. As a shifter, you are supposed to be mated for life. It is your fate. The universe has chosen the mate for you. There has to be a reason why. You just have to believe in it."

"It's not that easy. There's so much happening, and it's just a mess."

"You can get through it, Jade. I know you can. Just have faith. Your instincts will not lead you astray. If there is one thing you can trust, is your wolf. She is the strongest part of you, and she will always have your back. It will take time, and maybe some soul searching, but I know that things will be okay."

"Ava...Thank you. Thank you for being here. You have no idea how much I've missed having you around."

"Me too. Come here." She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close, and the feeling of comfort washed over me. I always wondered what it felt to have a sister, as an only child who lost her parents at a young age, and no siblings, the feeling of being held and cared for by someone you are not related to, was the best feeling in the world.

Being able to vent my problems to someone who listens, and gives good advice is a relief, and the fact that she cares, makes me feel so grateful for everything.

She's become like a sister, and I was so thankful for her.