Chapter 19: NINETEEN

J A D E

I was laying in this huge queen sized bed that I couldn't even call mine. Because, with all that has happened, I knew this place couldn't be my home, it couldn't be my safe haven.

It was only then, the realization hit me.

I was all alone, in a world full of people who hated my guts, but still had to pretend to be nice. It made me realize just how unfair life has been to me since the death of my parents. How I've never known happiness or peace.

How my heart was slowly dying day by day and how no one cared.

No one cared.

Everyone hated me.

Hated.

Me.

And there was nothing I could do about it. How did I go from being an Alpha's daughter, to losing my parents, to getting adopted by my father's 'friend', who was the mastermind behind my doom. Dane was never a friend to my father, and it took until his death to realize that.

It made me wonder how my life would be like if I hadn't ran away from my pack and got married to Mason. Would I have been happy? Would I have been able to live a normal life?

But the answer was no. In Alpha Dane's pack, I was getting beat every day, tortured, treated like a worthless slave who didn't deserve a chance at life.

I had been miserable.

Even in a different pack, the situation hadn't been much different. I was still treated the same. The only difference was, I wasn't being beaten up and abused everyday, but there were other ways to abuse a person.

I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally.

I felt violated, and the thought that the one man I thought was going to be my salvation turned out to be the one thing I would be running away from, made me realize just how fucked up my life had been.

How did I end up in this situation?

What was so wrong with me that I deserved to be treated so badly by everyone?

And was I ever going to get the happy ending I deserved, or was I going to die young? I cared about Markov, I really did, but everything died the day he forced himself on me. And now, I was stuck between believing that he was possessed by some spirit or something, or the fact that he was the true monster, the wolf in sheep's clothing.

But, what made me fall for him so hard, so fast, that I couldn't tell the good from the bad? But as much as I wanted to lean into him and let him love me, the memory of the night before kept flashing back, making it harder and harder to even stand being in the same house with him.

But, Eliza had promised that there was more to the story.

Did I want to listen?

No, I didn't.

Did I want to understand?

Not really.

But, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

But, how could I explain the fact that my wolf didn't accept him? It was the oddest, and most ridiculous plot twist that could have ever happened.

I couldn't fathom how that was even possible, but it was.

And, I wasn't sure what that meant.

Did that mean that there was something wrong with me, or with my wolf? Or was it just an anomaly that no one had ever seen before?

Or could also mean that there was something my wolf could sense about Markov that I couldn't? Was there something sinister hidden under the surface of a beautiful, perfect exterior?

What was it that my wolf could sense, but I couldn't?

There were just too many questions that needed answering, but none that would make any sense.

Your wolf should be the first to accept the mating bond even before your human self does. Your wolf is the most primal part of you, and she can sense the good or bad vibes coming from someone, even if your human self couldn't.

But, Markov and I...

It didn't make any sense, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make any sense out of it.

It was just all too much, and it made me wish I could take the day off, or run away.

The ball was starting in an hour and I stared at my dress at the corner, already convinced that I still wasn't going to the ball. I wasn't going to go out there and pretend and put on a fake smile just so my mate could show me off like some trophy prize.

I wouldn't do that.

But, I wasn't a coward either.

I could walk out there and pretend like nothing had happened, and no one would know any better.

But, what about the fact that everyone knew something I don't, and everyone was talking about it? What was I going to do about that?

Wouldn't I look like a fool, pretending everything was fine when everyone knew it wasn't? Everyone in this pack seemed to be keeping a huge secret from me, down to even the people I call my friends, they knew something I don't, and it was pissing me off.

I hated it.

I had a right to know the truth, just as much as everyone else.

But, could I handle the truth, if there was one?

Would the truth set me free, or would it trap me into a deeper lie?

And if it did, would I ever be able to find my way out of the web of lies and deceit that seemed to have been woven around me without my consent?

Would I be able to trust again, knowing that the only people I trusted were hiding the truth from me, and would they tell me the truth, or would they continue to hide it from me?

There were too many questions and not enough answers.

It was driving me crazy, and the only thing I could do was try and figure out the mystery behind the truth. My door was suddenly swung open, and up to like four or five women rushed inside the room, holding some tools.

I stood up, staring at them confused, they all stopped and bowed their heads before me. "Alpha has ordered us to prepare you for the ball." Eliza said, before they hurriedly unzipped the bag and took out the most beautiful, long, black dress I had ever seen.

I sat back on the bed and folded my arms. "You can go inform your Alpha that I will not be attending the ball."

One of the ladies looked up, her expression turning sad. "Alpha's order is law, Luna."

I glared at her.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"He can't force me. I don't want to attend the ball. Period. He doesn't decide my fate, I do. So, you can all leave, because there is no way I am attending the stupid ball."

They all stood still, not moving a muscle. "We can't. We have to do what the Alpha has asked us."

"I am your Luna, and you will do as I say. I am not attending the ball. Case closed. Please, leave my room."

They all looked at each other, their expressions saying that they had been given orders to not leave the room unless I was dressed and ready for the ball.

They slowly walked out of my room. I let out a sigh as soon as they closed the door, finally getting my peace and quiet again. At least, I could actually decline without being forced otherwise for the first time in my life.

But that relief was short-lived, because the next thing I knew, Markov had stepped into the room, and I could feel his gaze piercing through me.

I ignored him, and laid on the bed, rolling my back towards him, pulling the covers over my head.

"You are going to the ball, love." He said, his voice deep and commanding.

I turned towards him, glaring. "No, I am not. Please, get out of my room and let me sleep."

"Jade, please. Do this for me. I need you. I can't face my people without you by my side. You have no idea what I've been going through since the moment you told me to get the fuck out of here." His tone was begging, pleading. "I know I don't deserve to be forgiven. I know that, and you're the last person I'm supposed to beg, but I need you. I am nothing without you, Jade."

My heart ached at his words.

I couldn't believe he was begging.

It didn't suit him.

He was the Alpha, the big boss.

But, it was also then I realized just how vulnerable and exposed he was at that moment. He looked like a little child, pleading for mercy.

And for some strange reason, the thought of him needing me made me weak.

"Why? Why do you need me, Markov?"

"Because, you make me strong, Jade. Without you, I'm weak. Without you, I'm nothing. Without you, I can't survive. It's as simple as that. I'll be by your side all night. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You can trust me."

"How could I trust you, when you broke my trust?"

"I'm sorry, Jade. I'm so so sorry. There's no way I can undo what I did. I just want you to know, I would never have done what I did if I had a choice. I can't explain it, but you have to believe me. There is a lot more to this story than you know. And when it's time, I will tell you everything you need to know. Please, Jade. Don't let our people down. You have no idea what's at stake, love. I can't tell you yet, but please, give me a chance."

The wheels in my head were spinning, trying to comprehend his words, trying to understand what was going on, but nothing made sense.

And his last words...

There was a lot more to this story.

But, what was the story?

I wanted to ask him, but the look in his eyes told me that he wasn't going to reveal anymore. Not now.

"Fine. I will attend the ball. But, not for you, but because I'm tired of being cooped up in this house."

He let out a breath. "Thank you, love. You have no idea how much it means to me. If there's anything I can do, just say the word."

"Just go, and let me get ready."

"I'll be outside. Take your time."

As soon as he left, the women came in again and started prepping me for the ball.

I just knew it was going to be a long night.