Chapter 10: TEN

J A D E

I haven’t seen or spoken to Markov in a week, he has been avoiding me, and I have been locked in the bedroom since that night.

A few nights ago, I was walking around the house, and I saw Markov. He was sitting at the dining table, staring at the wall.

I was about to say something, but he raised his hand and pointed at the stairs, signaling me to leave.

I could sense his anger, and I didn't want to push him. I didn’t understand why he was angry at me for what happened that night. Or was he angry at himself for letting me see that side of him?

I came down the stairs to have a glass of milk as I couldn’t sleep. It was currently 12 in the midnight and I was shocked to find Markov sitting on the kitchen counter, downing a whole bottle of alcohol down his throat.

I cleared my throat, making my presence known. He didn't look up or acknowledge me, he simply kept on drinking.

"Markov, we need to talk," I said, in a stern voice.

"There is nothing to talk about. Go back to bed," He replied, not meeting my gaze.

"No, you can't just avoid me. Not after what happened. I need to know why. What is your problem? I can’t seem to understand why you’ve been so moody since that day."

"My problem is you. You are my problem. Everything about you is my problem." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"I should've left you in that alley. I shouldn't have taken you in. You're not my mate. This isn't real. This is a mistake. All of it is a mistake!" He hissed, slamming his fist on the table.

"Markov, what is going on? You're scaring me." I asked, stepping back.

"You're not supposed to be scared of me, Jade. I'm the one who's scared." He turned his back, tugging his hair.

"Of what? Tell me."

"I'm scared of myself. Of what I can do. Of what I will do. And most importantly, of losing you. I am scared of losing you, Jade. You don’t know how much your presence means to me. Every second spent with you is a blessing and a curse. The more I fall for you, the harder it gets. You make me weak. And I can't let that happen. I have a reputation to maintain. I am a monster, and I will never deserve you."

"No, you're not a monster. You're just lost. And so am I. I am lost without you. You can't push me away. We are mates. Please, Markov. Talk to me. We can figure this out together." I begged.

"Jade, this is not a fairytale. I am a monster." He stared so deep into my eyes that I staggered from the intensity.

He grabbed his bottle of whiskey and pushed past me, leaving me standing there, completely dumbfounded.

I knew of his duties as Alpha and their necessity to kill, but that doesn’t make them a monster. It was their duty to protect their people. Why was he taking it so hard?

He was nothing like the monster lurking in the woods who has lost all sense of humanity, he should never compare himself to that.

He had no idea of the inner battle I was facing, the conflict of whether to run away or stay. I was confused, but I knew that my heart would break if he didn't want me.

It has been a week since that incident. And, I had yet to hear from him. He hasn’t even come to check up on me or bring me food. I was going insane, and my wolf was no help either. She was constantly nagging and pushing me to confront him.

Ava and Eliza also visited me. They brought me books and food, and tried to cheer me up.

"Markov will calm down soon. You have to be patient," Ava said, rubbing my back.

"I know, it's just... he's not himself. He is shutting me out. He is pushing me away."

"Give him some time. He has never been in a relationship before. He is scared. Trust me, I have known him for years, and I have never seen him so invested in someone. You are the light in his life. The one who makes him smile and laugh. I have only seen him happy when he is with you. His life has been nothing but a tragedy. And, he just needs a bit more time to adjust." Eliza explained.

"But, why won't he let me help him? He is suffering and I am his mate. It's my job to be there for him, to comfort him, and take care of him."

"Jade, you can't force him. If he doesn't want to talk, then you have to give him space. I know it's hard, but you have to understand. This is new to him. You can't expect him to change his whole personality overnight. Just wait for him, and when he is ready, he will come to you."

"I just miss him," I said, sighing.

"We know, and we're sorry. We wish there was something we could do."

"It's not your fault. You've been so supportive. I can't thank you enough. I know I can be annoying sometimes, but I'm glad you're here."

"You're not annoying. You're amazing. And we're happy to have you here." Ava smiled, hugging me.

I smiled and hugged her back.

"Well, we'll let you get some rest. Take care of yourself, and remember, Markov will come around. I promise." Eliza said, hugging me.

"Thanks, Eliza."

"Anytime. Call us if you need anything."

"I will. Bye."

"Bye!" I closed the door and leaned against it. I took a deep breath and went to my room. I changed into comfortable clothes and went to bed.

As I laid on the bed, I couldn’t help but think of Markov. My heart ached and my soul cried out for him. But, I had to be strong. He will come to me, he just needs time.

But, I was also uncertain about my stay here. Did I want to stay with him when my wolf has turned her back on him? I still couldn’t understand why she hates him so much. He was our soulmate, her attraction for him was supposed to be stronger than any other. Yet, she rejected him. What was going on?

Why was my wolf so against the man I was destined to be with? Was she protecting me? But, from what?

And what did Markov mean by "This isn't real. This is a mistake. All of it is a mistake"?

How can he call it a mistake? We are mates, this is fate. There is no denying the pull between us. It is as real as the blood pumping through my veins.

Maybe he is right. Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe I shouldn’t be here. Maybe he isn’t meant for me.

No, no, no, no. That can't be. He is my mate. This is right. He is right. But, why does my wolf hate him so much?

I groaned, frustrated, and curled up in a ball. My head was throbbing, and I couldn’t think clearly.

"Ughhh." I buried my face in the pillow and tried to sleep, hoping to find some peace.

I just couldn’t catch a break.

The universe must hate me.