THE FEAR
HALI'S POV
If there was something I was afraid of… that was when Zarya was mad. I was frightened that one day, I woke up without her by my side. I experienced that for five years and I felt I was going to be out of sanity. Every single day was hell, slowly killing me.
When he accepted my apology, I managed to hide my happiness. I stayed beside her for the whole time. I served her dinner and prepared his water for bathing.
When she was sitting in the bathtub full of roses, I was brushing her back with the wet rug. "Seems like you're a queen, huh?" I smacked on her shoulder, cuddling at her while cleaning her body.
The Water Pack House was big. It could compare to one-fourth of the Elemental Kingdom.
"Am I not?" She immediately glared at me, annoyed.
"Yeah, you are. My queen-"
"Why! Do you want that woman to be your queen!" She stood up recklessly. She threw the water with bubbles to my face.
"Babe…"
"Babe, your face!" Then, she left me.
What the fuck? She was mad all the time! Was she going to have her menstruation? Oh, come on! It was annoying.
I let out a heavy sigh. I grabbed the towel and wrapped it to my waist. "Baby?"
"Baby, your dream!" She shouted back.
My head was aching. How could I court her this time?
"Baby?" I walked towards the bed. She was lying there covered with a blanket. I hugged her from behind. She acted like she was sleeping. I kissed her on the cheek. "Sorry." No response. I just let her sleep well. Perhaps she was just tired for the whole day.
I thought when we woke up, she would give attention to me. I was wrong. She continued ignoring me.
What the hell did I do?
The next day, she did not even look at me! I kept on following her, courting her, making jokes- I was so frustrated! Did she not like me anymore?
One morning, Kheros went to me. He gave me one piece of sunflower with a strand. He said Zarya was craving flowers, so I went to her and gave it. I was so grateful to Kheros, we were fine again, and then the night after, she would repeat to me again the woman I talked to. My ears were in pain due to nonstop nonsense conversation and then she would cry? What the fuck, Man! I did not do anything!
In the middle of the training, Khal suggested that I should invite her for a date. Maybe she felt insecure with herself. So I did. The fuck! She did not come. All my efforts were in vain!
Funny how she busted me. I was once a playboy, the women were running and pleading to me just to sleep with me, but her? She was different and I hated it. I felt like she was manipulating me. She had control over me.
Well, the reason? I love her. Period.
I learned how to wait. How to plead. How to make an effort. How to court. How to be patient.
Finally, she decided to forgive me for the things I don't know.
"Buddy, did you ask her if she's pregnant?"
My eyes widened when Khal had a guess. I immediately went to Zarya with a big smile on my lips. "Are you pregnant? Are we going to have a chil-"
"I wish I was!" She began to cry. Recklessly lay on the bed and covered her face with the blanket. "I kept on testing! It's negative! Nothing! Am I infertile? I want to have a baby! It was frustrating!"
Then, I understood why the hell she felt annoyed with me all the time. Why the heck she made love to me last week and then stopped it for no reason at all.
"Cora said, it was because of the herbs you let me take for years! It's still in me! It's effective! What if we can't produce an heir?" Her sob became severe.
"Baby…" I hugged her so tight. "It will disappear for year-"
"Years! I want a baby now! Not next year!"
"Why all of a sudden?"
She looked at me. Her eyes were rivered with tears. "I'm afraid."
"Afraid of?" I wiped the tears on her cheek and eyes. I pulled the blanket and dried her face with it.
"You leaving me."
"Why the hell would I leave you?" I gently dragged her head to my left arm, making my arm as a pillow.
"Because you find someone beautiful."
"The hell? My symbol is in yours. That's the thing that can't be stolen from you."
"What if you change your mind?" Now I saw her childish personality. The one who was fear of losing me and even the king felt thrilled.
"I won't." I smacked on her forehead, edge of the nose, cheeks and lips. "Probably the kings are known for their many women. My brothers break the belief. They stick to one woman and I will follow that step."
"What if you don't love me anymore after a thousand years?"
I pinched his nose. "I will find my way to remember every single thing we've been through before we get married. I will write it in the Elemental Book, so I can't forget." I interviewed our hands. "You're my sun, don't fail to think of that."
I touched her cheek and bent down to give her a long passionate kiss. I gradually traveled my hand on the buttons 9f her clothes and gradually unbuckled it until her chest was revealed to mine. I moved down and sucked her nipple. When I heard her moaning, I continued caressing every inch of her body.
I don't like kissing, but her lips are addictive.
I don't desire to savor a woman's body, but when it's her I am willing; even though it is inch by inch, little by little, gently smacking.
I hate love… but when Zarya came, I didn't want to let go of the pleasures and satisfaction that only love can give and only Zarya can offer at the same time.
I never tell her my fear, but actually, I have that in my heart.
The fear of losing her. The fear of knowing that tomorrow she will no longer be by my side. The fear of imagination tomorrow without her.
Because I already set the plan and the future I see is me and her with our children.