Chapter 65

Killian:

I looked at the tray of food that was untouched beside Natasha’s bedroom door and I frowned.

I knocked on the door twice and waited for a few seconds before she opened the door. 

“Please leave,” she said, and I raised an eyebrow.

“Why did you open the door if you didn’t want me to come inside?” I asked, and she rolled her eyes.

“Because like your mate, you would have waited by the door.” She said, and I stayed quiet, waiting for her to burst out. “And I don’t want to see anyone,”

“Well, I am not going to leave you to grieve on your own, and I doubt that Eleanor wanted to do that...”

“I don’t care what you or Eleanor want, I want to be alone.” She said, taking a step back to close the door. I shook my head and put my hand on the door, stopping her from moving it. She teared up and I walked inside. Her heart raced and I walked inside before closing the door.

“Well, you can be alone with me sitting on the couch over here, and when you are ready to talk, we can do that.” I said, and she frowned. Her heart raced against her ribcage as she stilled completely. Tears welled up in her eyes and I extended my hand slowly before wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She punched my chest twice, before a sob broke from her lips.

“Why? Just give me a reason why, Killian?” She asked, and I kissed the crown of her head. “Why did you have to be so cruel…?”

“She put the whole house under threat, baby sister.” I said, my voice softening. “And believe me, if I knew that it wouldn’t harm you to go and say your goodbye to her, I would have allowed you inside. But she was inside the ventilation when you, Liana, and Eleanor were talking about where Eleanor came from. She managed to fuck up the cameras and ventilating security system, and the two of us know that she knew everything about the house’s security and could do that as well.”

Natasha pulled away from my arms and frowned as her eyes hardened. “She threatened to send the conversation to ALL Elton allies, and you know the danger that it would have cost us all. Needless to say, her threatening us to begin with was enough for me to end things before they started.”

“She wasn’t only cheating on me, Nat.” I said, and she looked down at her feet. “You know that she put three bullets in me, and had it not been for Vladimir shooting her arm, I would have been long dead. And even then, I didn’t have it in me to hurt her.”

“We gave her more chances than she deserved and I always put in mind that she may have been under pressure and hence did what she has, but you need to understand that she is my mate, Natasha.” I said, looking at the woman whose eyes dropped to the ground. “And the two of us know how fragile and scared she was when she entered the house. I can’t risk her going back to that when I was barely getting her out of her cocoon that she surrounded herself with to secure herself. And Elton has hurt her a lot more than you know,”

“He raped…”

“It didn't settle there.” I said, stopping her. The fear that I would hear in her as she slept, having nightmares. The number of times that I would wake up to hold her in my arms and pull her to my chest, silently reminding her that I was there for her and that she was safe were countless. This week was the first since she arrived that she didn’t wake up in fear. “And I know that she went through more than she is letting out, and I don’t want her to deal with it.”

“She claims to have lost her father…”

“Not everyone copes with their pain the way that you do, Natasha.” I said, stopping her, knowing that she would say that he deserved it. No matter what she was going to say, I knew that she wouldn’t be able to fool me, and she had to know that I wasn’t like the others who didn’t know her. “Don’t tell me that you lost your dad as well, and don’t give me the bullshit attitude about coping with it, because I know that if you can, you are going to want to see the man and have him in your life, no matter the abuse.”

“Killian…”

“I don’t like to be the person who hurts you with facts, and you know for fucking fact that I am always the man who supports and is there for you, but sometimes, you need to know that even if I want to be, you force my hands into being the blunt man that kills with no remorse.” I said, stopping her. “I don’t want to be that with you and I don’t think that you want to see that side of me to begin with,” 

“She was my friend,” she said, and I nodded in understanding. 

“And she was the love of my life,” I said, watching as Natasha closed her eyes. “The two of us know the pain that I was in when I lost her. And I think that the number of nights that you and Viktor had to sober me up after a hangover, and I think you remember how many times Viktor had to lift me unconscious as he dragged me from the office to my room. I don’t think that I need to remind you of when you snapped and broke all my alcohol bottles either.”

Flashback:

I went to pull my bottle of scotch only to find Natasha standing in front of me, stopping me from approaching the bar. 

“Natasha…”

“No, that is fucking enough.” She said, glaring at me. Her heart raced and her hands shook while mom, dad, Liana, and Viktor stood there with wide eyes. “We have been going on with this for months, and you seem to be losing more and more of yourself on a fucking daily basis. That is fucking enough.”

“It does not concern you…”

“I lost her too, Killian!” She snapped. “I fucking lost my friend for…”

“WELL, I LOST THE WOMAN THAT I LOVE!”

“SHE MADE HER CHOICE, AND YOU SHOULD FUCKING MAN UP AND MAKE YOURS!” She yelled so loud that her voice cracked in the end. I rolled my eyes and pushed her aside before going to get my bottle. She grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

“Natasha…”

“No, Viktor. The fucking bastard is going to remember that he is an Alpha, one fucking way or the other, he is going to fucking remember that.” She said, pulling me back. I growled, and she returned the favor before grabbing my chair. 

I frowned in confusion and stepped back just as she threw the chair. The chair hit the closet where I kept my drinks, breaking them. She didn’t stop there before stepping over the glass and dropping every other bottle that was intact. 

Her chest rose and fell with each breath that she took before she turned to face me. “I still have two bottles inside my drawer.”

“Thank you,” she said, walking toward my desk. I went to stop her only for her to pull her gun out of its holster. The fact that she was carrying it with her was alarming enough, and I stilled as I watched her throw both bottles at the wall in front of us, making them shatter. “See all these glass pieces? They can’t be fixed and I know that it is why you’re hurt, but turn off your fucking emotions if you have to and stop being this…”

She looked me up and down as if I were some pest that she wanted to get rid of. “Or get us another Alpha who can do his job right. And so help me God if you make this choice, I am going to slit your throat before sewing it back as a damn reminder of who you are.”

She didn’t bother waiting for my response before she walked toward the door. “I’ll call the maids to come and clean up here…”

End of Flashback. 

“I don’t want to be the one to do the same thing to you, Natasha.” I said, my voice softening as I spoke to her. “But I also don’t want you causing damage to those that we care about, especially when we know that they are weaker than we are.” 

“I’m sorry, Killian,” she said, and I smiled before wrapping my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

“The two of us know that I am not the one that you should be apologizing to,” I said, gently massaging her shoulders. “She is in the kitchen, and I think that the two of you should talk before we shift tonight. You know that she won’t be able to do that and that is just one more example of how much Elton hurt her…”