Chapter 60

Killian:

“It’s a full moon tomorrow.” Eleanor said, laying on my chest. I smiled and tightened my arms around her before kissing the crown of her head.

“A full moon that would be filled with pain,” I said, and she shook her head in question. “Natasha is grieving, and everything in the house is fumbled…”

“And you are in pain,” she said, stopping me. I looked down at her and she turned around to face me. Her eyes were gentle as she looked into mine, and I looked away, wanting to avoid hers. The fact that I knew that this was wrong was not something that I was going to deny. But something in me broke today, and I don’t even know I managed to do it with no remorse. “It’s okay to be in pain, Killian. I won’t judge.”

“It’s not that, Eleanor…”

“It’s the fact that she was your lover.” She said, and I frowned. She gently put her hands on my cheeks, cupping them before making me look at her. “It is okay to be hurt over a person that you love, Killian. I am not going to be angry because of it.”

“You might not be angry, but you will be…”

“Doubting things?” I couldn’t help but find myself recalling her words from earlier. Her voicing out her pain to Natasha, her fear that she wouldn’t be able to satisfy me. The last thing that I wanted was for her to feel insecure. “I won’t doubt you, nor would I doubt the fact that I can tell that you are willing to do a lot for my sake. Yes, I was afraid of losing you to her. I have to admit that much, but thinking about it, you showing that you do have it in your heart to love someone as purely as you loved her, I know that you are going to be loving me a thousand times more.”

I frowned in confusion at her words before she wrapped her arms around my neck. Her eyes were fixed on mine and I didn’t move, allowing her to do what she wanted without feeling like I was going to push her into it. She slowly straddled my lap, and I took a deep breath as I felt myself hardening under her. 

“Your first love would be the strongest. You would feel it in your gut. You would be hurt because of it. Your first smile would be because of it, and I know that it never dies. I am not stupid, I know for fact that her dying would not change how you feel about her.” She said, gently scratching the back of my head. “But I also read somewhere that it said that true never dies, a second love comes stronger, and bigger, cradling the person and his broken pieces. You cradled me on my weakest of states when I feared my own shadow. I know that I am still afraid of a lot more than I can express, but I do have it in me to give you the love that I was never allowed to share.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me as I kept my eyes on hers. “All the love in my life was taken away from me somehow. My mom died, the man that I was to marry was a devil in disguise, and the man who was supposed to protect me from all harm, be my one savior, and armor when I needed him, threw me to that devil.”

“And yet, instead of wanting them all dead, you don’t want to fight back?” I asked, and she smiled. 

“You may not understand my perspective on this, and I don’t blame you for it. But one thing that I forced myself not to drown into was the darkness that everyone wanted to throw me inside.” She said, and I leaned into her lips. “Plus, I have you to kill them for me. I would clean their blood off your hands and shirt, and you would hold me in your arms until the next morning to tell me that everything was done. What more would I ever be able to ask for?” 

I connected my lips with hers in a gentle kiss, and I couldn’t help but find myself frowning as my chest ached. The fact that I didn’t even know how I was going to tell her about her father didn’t escape my mind, but knowing that I would rather that she hears it from me forced me to pull away from the kiss.

“Eleanor, there is something that I have to tell you.” I said, and she frowned in confusion. She shook her head, and I took a deep breath. I wanted to be the one to bring his head to her, and I had to admit, I was more than just a little angry that I couldn’t do it for her. 

“Is there anything wrong?” She asked, and I shook my head. 

“It is concerning Luca.” I said, looking her in the eye. Her heart raced, and I could tell that she wanted to move away from my arms, but instead of allowing her to do so, I tightened my grip. I didn’t want her to bear the pain of it alone. Yes, I hated the man with everything that I had, and if I had the chance to feed him to the hounds before killing him, I would have. But knowing her kind heart, I knew that despite everything that he has done to her, she might grieve for him, and I wanted to be the one she resolved to if that happened.

“What about him?” She asked, trying to make sure that she didn’t stutter. I could see her taking deep and slow breaths, fearing what I was going to tell her. I gently massaged her waist, wanting her to relax, sensing her worry and tension in her posture. But I knew that nothing was going to make things any easier for her about this topic. I was mostly trying to find the right way to say it without making her panic. 

“He died, Eleanor.” I said, and her eyes widened. “Elton is now the Alpha of your pack…”