Chapter 53

Eleanor:

“Who is that woman?” I asked Natasha whose eyes were fixed on the door for a few seconds.

Her heart raced against her ribcage, and I couldn’t help but find myself feeling something that I never felt before.

It was anger, pain, and a clench in my chest that I never knew possible. Needless to say, I couldn’t tell whether it was rage that I was feeling or it was just genuine pain.

“Her name is Daria.”

“I picked that up,” I said, looking down at my lap. I knew that I shouldn’t be rude to Natasha, it wasn’t her fault anyway, but I couldn’t help but find myself aching at the idea of someone else claiming my mate. The last thing that I wanted was to end up losing Killian, especially when I knew that I was opening up to him. 

“She is his ex-girlfriend. And though I don’t know what she is doing here, I know two things; Killian wouldn’t have let her inside his room, and she is up to no good.” I scoffed and shook my head at her words. Her eyes met mine and she frowned in confusion.

“The man locked his room with her inside with him, and needless to say, he was carrying her out of the bedroom.” I said, and Natasha sighed when she saw tears falling from my eyes. “She couldn’t just be in there without his permission. He would have kicked her out, and the number of bodyguards that are in the Estate would have kicked her out as well. Therefore, if she was inside this room, it would be with Killian’s permission.”

“I know that you are not going to believe me on this one, but if I know Killian, I know for fact that he wouldn’t want her in his life. The two of them go beyond the past, and the…”

“Natasha, I want to go to sleep, please.” I said, stopping the woman whose eyes widened in surprise.

“Eleanor…”

“Please, Natasha, I want to be alone.” I said, stopping the woman whose eyes widened. She looked at me and cupped my cheeks to make me look at her. Her fingers gently ran over my cheek and I watched as she wiped my tears before taking a step back.

“He is not going to leave you, Eleanor. If anyone knows who Killian is, I know for fucking fact that he has feelings for you, and believe me, when he does, he is not the type to cheat or invite a woman into his bed for a fuck.” She said before wrapping her arms around me as she pulled me in for a hug.

“I can’t satisfy him, sexually, I mean.” I said, making the woman pull away. She looked at me and frowned in confusion. “The fear that I have of anyone touching me consumes me, and I know that Killian knows that…”

“Killian isn’t a teenager, Eleanor. He can do without sex for a lot longer than…”

“He is a man in the end, and regardless of what you are going to tell me, he has his needs, and he has to satisfy them.” I said, recalling the words that my father told me when I told him about Elton raping me. He was a man with needs, and your duty to satisfy them. It was what you were made to be, a woman to satisfy her man. 

“Eleanor, you are not the only who was ever abused, assaulted, and taken against her will.” She said, making me frown. “Please listen to my words carefully before you judge what I am going to tell you.”

She slowly put her hand on my shoulder before guiding me to sit on the edge of the bed. She sat beside me and looked me in the eye as she took my hand in hers. 

“We don’t live in the pure world that every girl wants to be in, and it is not our fault. Many of the girls in our world tend to get abused for different reasons, some are sold at young ages, others are killed after their men are done with whatever it is that they wanted with them. There are a few that survive, and those that do, are traumatized.” She said, looking down at my hand. “But that does not mean that you can’t heal, that your pain will not go away, and that you won’t be able to find your peace.”

She tapped my hand twice with her hand before looking me in the eye. 

“You survived a lot more than any woman should have, I understand that, and judging by what you told me, it all happened when you were very young. But you escaped, and that is something that you should be thankful for. The fear, the pain, the anger, and some even the humiliation is normal. You look at yourself as if you are different, you might think that you don’t deserve to be loved, and there are so many other different things that might pop up in your head at that moment, but you have to know that you are valued, Eleanor.” She said, her voice softening. She put her hand on my cheek and I couldn’t help but lean into her touch, loving the sister effect that she was giving me. “I know that it is hard, but you can get out of the pain that you lived through. Not only because of Killian, but because you deserve it. Be it Killian or anyone else that you want to trust, you will find your happiness.”

“I’m just scared.” I said, as she removed her hand.

“Scared when I see you as a survivor, a hero, and a warrior? I am surprised to hear such a word from you.” She said, and I smiled. She wiped my tears from my cheeks, and I sniffed before she pulled me in for a hug. “Being jealous is normal, but being afraid of losing a man who would be more than willing to destroy the whole world to see you smile, now that is not something that I am going to allow.”

“What if it is only temporary? He has his ex, someone who I believe he loved, and I doubt that she would have been as broken as I am.” I asked, and she smiled.

“Judging by the way that he looks at you, fights for your smile, and is more than eager to keep you safe, I doubt anything is temporary.” She said, her voice softening. “If I know anything about Killian, it is when he loves, he would rather give his life for you than to lose you.”

“I think that I have to be the one to prove it to her.” Killian’s voice broke our attention before he walked inside the room. His eyes met mine for a second and I looked down at my lap, avoiding his gaze. “If you don’t mind, Natasha, can you leave my mate and I alone for a while?”

“You owe me some explaining as well, by the way.” Natasha said, standing up. “But I think that your mate deserves it more right now.”

“I’ll answer your questions when I have an answer to them, because I think that I know your question, and I really don’t know the answer.” He said, and Natasha frowned before nodding. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, Eleanor.” Natasha said before walking out of the room. Killian walked toward me, his steps careful and slow before he sat on the edge of the bed beside me. His eyes were fixed on me for a few seconds before he cleared his throat.

“You can let your anger out if you want,” he said, taking me by surprise. “Then I think that we can talk about what I heard, and the facts that I have in my hands…”