Chapter 114

Eleanor:

“Hey,” I said, entering Natasha’s room to find her laying on her side. She didn’t look up at me, I knew that she wouldn’t anyway.

“You’re supposed to be resting, Eleanor.” She said, holding the blanket to her cheek. I didn’t say a word as I walked toward her bed and laid by her side. She sniffed, not saying a word before I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her in for a hug. However, what I didn’t expect was her reaction as she pushed me away, her eyes hardening as she glared daggers at me. “I do not need your pity or anyone’s sad gazes.”

She took a deep breath and I shook my head at her, not wanting her to take things that way. Her heart raced and I could read her anger in her eyes before she looked away from me. “Please leave, Eleanor.”

“Why did you stay by my side when I came back from Elton? When I was scared when Killian found out about who I was, my story, and where I came from, did you stick to my side because you pitied me?” I asked, and she looked down at her lap, avoiding my eyes. “The two of us swore to be friends and sisters, and I think that you should know that I am not going to be pitying you no matter the cost that would be laid out in front of me.” 

“Please…”

“I am not going to leave you, Natasha, because I know for fact what it is to be alone when you need ONE person to be by your side. You look at yourself in the mirror and you find yourself completely drained of energy, you cry, you want to scream, to understand, and sometimes, you just want someone to hug you, no words of comfort, I am not dumb, I know that nothing that I say would make this any better. But someone silently being there for you, reminding you that you are not alone is something that we all need every once and a while.” I said, stopping her. Her lips quivered, and for the first time since I met her, I saw the woman that was my strength, crumble. 

She slid back on her bed before curling up and wrapping her arms around her legs as a sob broke from her lips. Her heart raced against her chest, and she shook her head, not liking what she was going through, her pain, and the anger that she felt. I slowly crawled up to her side before wrapping my arms around her, careful not to stir, anger, or annoy her by doing so. Knowing that she was sensitive, I didn’t know what to expect as a reaction.

“I lost everything, everyone, and I don’t know what to do, Eleanor.” She said, shaking her head in question. “She wanted me in Killian’s bed, she didn’t want me to find happiness, she just wanted me to be the Alpha’s woman. And I never wanted that, it was never something that I had in mind, but she did.” 

“What?” I asked, frowning as I processed her words. She took deep and slow breaths, shaking her head as she did, and I couldn’t help but find myself frowning as I processed all the facts that were straight and blunt in front of me, it was just me who never saw them. Liana’s anger at me for no reason, the way that she looked at me, spoke to me, the way she despised me regardless of everything; I now understood her reason. She just wanted to have her daughter as my mate’s lover.

“I swear that it wasn’t me, I was thrown in the middle of something that I never understood. I don’t even know how Nikolai turned out to be a traitor, how long they’ve been doing this, and why. I…” I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly as she shook. My heart ached for her, and I couldn’t help but find myself wondering how she was feeling about everything. I didn’t even know if Killian knew of what she was telling me, and if he did, how he felt about it. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Natasha, you don’t have to apologize to anyone, do you understand me?” I said, pulling away to look her in the eye. I cupped her cheeks, forcing her eyes on me as she shook her head, clearly not wanting to look at me, and I didn’t know whether it was because she was scared or because she was hurting; but I knew what it was like to be as broken as she was, and that wasn’t a feeling that I would have wished for a person that I considered a friend to feel. 

“I am scared of what is going to happen, Eleanor. My mother is going to die, the love of my life killed my baby and is to die. I am just going to be that person who would not only be alone, but who has everyone that was ever meant to be family to her…”

“You are going to get over it. Yes, it will hurt you like a dagger pushed in your chest, and yes, I understand that you are going to be crying for ages, I understand that you are going to be in pain; but one thing that I am not going to allow you to even think to consider is the fact that I am going to be leaving you alone. No one in this family is going to leave you alone, do you understand, Natasha?” I asked, stopping her. “And I stopped you because I don’t want you to look at or consider yourself anything that you are not. They are traitors, and you learned that they were first, but rather than following them despite him being your lover, and her your mother, you lost your baby and stood with what was right. You didn’t betray your blood, your family, and the man that you considered to be your brother.” 

“What if he resents me after this? I couldn’t even tell him that she wanted to put me in his bed, Eleanor. I couldn’t face him with that fact.” She said, and I took her hand in mine, gently squeezing it. Her hands shook, but I didn’t care as I pulled her to my chest. “He is going to hate me.”

“If he is going to love and respect anyone in this world, Natasha, it is going to be you. He is not only going to treat you like the sister that he sees in you, but as the queen that you are meant to be.” I said, holding her to my chest as she curled up, wrapping her arm around my stomach for a few seconds before she looked up at me. Her eyes held more pain than I ever thought that I would see in them, and though I knew what it was to be in this much pain and more, I couldn’t help but find myself feeling bad for her and what she was going through. It was painful enough for one person to be dealing with this much sadness, I couldn’t imagine what she had in her mind right now.

“I’m scared, Eleanor.” She whispered before laying her head back on my stomach. “I’m scared of everything that might surround me from now on…”