Chapter 13: Chapter Thirteen

**Alexandria**

When I wake up the next morning, I feel groggy and tired still, that can sometimes happen to people when you’re in that in-between headspace of waking up for the day and being half asleep, it is also known to happen to some wolves who have been rejected by their mates as well. So, in my case that is more than likely what is going on with me right now.

I try to forget what happened the day before. But when the memory won’t go away, I have no choice but to get up and get around and get ready for the day. No matter how much I want to forget about yesterday and stay here under my nice warm blankets in my nice comfortable bed, I can't, I can't let my parents know what happened yesterday, at least not yet. They would go to the Alpha and tell him everything and he would make James take back his rejection and I don’t want to be mated to someone out of obligation or by force.

I refuse to be mated to someone who doesn’t want me for the way I am. I don’t want someone to be with me if they can’t genuinely love me and I certainly don’t want to be with someone who can’t even try to care for me.

So, I make my way out of bed and make my way to my bathroom for a shower, maybe a shower will help me feel better. As I turn the water on and let it warm up while I brush out my hair and brush my teeth. I make my way into the shower once it’s warm enough. I begin to feel the pain in my chest again, I slowly slide along the tiled wall and bring my knees to my chest and just let the tears fall; as they mix with the water falling on me from the shower head, I manage to somehow actually wash my hair and body and when the water is no longer warm, I shut off the water and make my way back to my room to get dressed.

I don’t feel like dressing in anything fancy today, so I put on my favorite black leggings with a white tank top and my favorite pink pull over hoodie. I make my way downstairs to have breakfast with my parents and then I need to make my way to school.

Dinner last night was hard, I had to pretend nothing was wrong and I had a hard time doing that, my parents wanted stay up with me all night and watch movies and have cake and ice cream. But I just didn’t have it in me to care about any of that, I just told them I had a lot of homework to get done and how I was tired, so I just went back up to my room and moped around while doing homework and tried not to let yesterday bring me down too much. I really am glad that I dodged a bullet with being mated to James. It’s just the stupid Mate bond that is making it hard for me right now, I can’t wait until the effects ware off in a few days.

Today is only Tuesday and the Blue Moon Ball is this weekend, I know my parents won't let me attend if I can’t show them, I am trying at school and I am bound and determined to show them that nothing will bring me down. So, as I make my way downstairs, I put a smile on my face to show them noting is wrong.

When I make it into the kitchen, my mom is at the stove finishing up breakfast and dad is at the table reading his paper and drinking his coffee.

“Morning Mom and Dad.”

In unison, they both respond with a Good Morning.

When my mom turns to look at me, I feel like she instantly knows something is wrong, especially when she asks if I’m okay?

She knows something is up when I hear the next words out of her mouth.

“I know you didn’t get to shift into your wolf last night, is there something you want to tell us?

I hope she doesn’t figure out what’s wrong, hell, I don’t even know what’s wrong. It makes me wonder if James rejecting me has something to do with my wolf not being close by. But why wasn’t I able to shift last night? I can feel her with me. She has been staying towards the back of my mind and hasn’t said anything to me since the rejection. I just hope she comes back soon.

“No, I’m okay mom, I just didn’t get much sleep last night so I’m a little tired today.“

Dad looks at me as well and when I look back at him, he seems to think it's something else. But I’m thankful he doesn’t push the issue. Goddess knows if he knew the real reason why I am feeling this way he would do all he could to have James’ head on a pike. Nobody and I mean NOBODY messes with his baby girl. My dad has always been protective over me. When I was younger, I used to get teased all the time about being smaller than everyone else and so my parents have always tried to shield me away from the bullies and they would always tell me that there is nothing wrong with my size and that great things always come in small packages and so from then on, I tried not to let it get to me.

I’m not exactly short but I am smaller than a lot of other girls I go to school with.

As I reflect on what my life is like at school, I can’t help but wish I was already done with school or if I could have least found my mate and maybe if he was part of another pack then maybe he could take me away from that hell hole of a place. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents and I love being here with them, but my school life is something I wish I could run away from.

I hoped that I could have found my mate in another pack. If only, so he could take me away from here but so I can finally shift into my wolf and find out what she looks like. In our world, we get our wolves at sixteen, but we don’t get to shift into our wolves until we turn eighteen. But since I got rejected by my mate yesterday, I didn’t get to shift, so I have a feeling that my wolf has decided to retreat to the depths of my mind and not let me shift, I hope she doesn’t stay away.

As I come back to the here and now, I look over to the clock hanging on the wall above the kitchen table and realize I’m about to be late for school if I don’t get a move on.

“Okay guys, I need to get going if I’m going to make it to school on time.”

I need to try and keep it together today, no matter how bad I just want to go back to bed and fall apart all over again. Annie texted me yesterday to see how I was doing but amid my falling apart, I didn’t have the heart to tell her everything that happened, I managed to message her back and tell her I would talk to her about it later.

As I take my plate to the kitchen sink and rinse it off and place it in the dishwasher, I make my way outside after I kiss my mom and dad on the cheek and head to school. I need to mentally prepare for the borage of questions Annie is going to throw my way this morning.