Chapter 64: Girl Talk.

Bella’s pov.

I never ended up calling him again.

I sat there. Staring at my phone. Finger hovering over the button.

I wanted to call him, to hear the sound of his voice.

But something held me back. There was just always something trying to hold me back…

That small rational part of me that knew I needed to finish things off with Garrett.

That he needed to be completely gone from my life before my attachment to John became permanent.

Our wolves were connected. We were connected. It’s just making everything so much harder.

With his lingering mark on my neck it made it harder to think of a future with John…

“Alpha?” The sound of Teeran's voice drifted into my room as she opened the door slowly, “alpha, Megan is asleep now. I cleaned up and did the dishes, I was thinking about crashing here on the couch tonight if that was okay with you?”

I sat up in bed and smiled over at her as she came into view.

“Of course, you don't have to ask. You are welcome to stay here whenever you want, Teeran. I appreciate all of your help. Get some rest, I need you to watch her again in the morning. I have some things to figure out with my rejection ceremony,” I said sadly, thinking about everything that could possibly happen during the ceremony…

“Do you… want to talk about it?” She asked skeptically, her hesitation evident in her tone and body posture.

“Not really, Teeran. But… maybe I’ll talk about it a little,” I mumbled, earning a big grin from her as she rushed over to my bed, taking a seat beside me.

“I need me some gossip,” she said dramatically, emphasizing the word ‘need’.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled at the look on her face.

She already had her hands tucked under her chin while we waited for me to spill my guts.

“Well… you don’t really know my ex mate, Garrett. But he wasn’t always bad,” I started with, my heart hurting at the thought of what we used to be, how he used to be… “we fell in love instantly. He brought me here, made me Luna, and gave me a safe place to call home. The pack members fell in love with me, they cherished me, cared for me. I took care of them too, gave them somebody to rely on. Garrett wasn’t the best at paperwork and pack business… that had all been placed onto me, and I had accepted it all willingly, thinking it would make him appreciate me more, maybe even love me more. But with time I realized it only made his life easier. He didn’t care what I did much… just recently I learned he had been poisoning me with wolfsbane so he could go fuck his mistress, his first love… Rose. They even had a son together, who is a year older than Megan. He left after I confronted him about it… he just left. I felt hollow, broken, because I didn’t want it to be true. But his silence was enough of an answer to know it was true.”

“Wow…” she said at first, her mouth opening and closing as she searched for the right words to say to me… "that's a lot. How are you doing with this? With the rejection coming up? Is it what you want?”

She asked a bunch of questions, questions I wasn’t sure how to answer.

“I need it to happen. I need to move on, for Megan, for myself. We deserve better than him, than what he offers us. He was a good mate once, or so I thought. But he was never a good father, and Megan deserves somebody who wants to be there for her. John… he’s what I want. He’s our future. He’s the only one I see when I think of it, the only one I want it to be with. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before… and he makes Megan feel safe and loved. I’ve never seen her like a male that much in her entire life, she’s always been so terrified of them. But not John,” I couldn’t help the smile that took over my face and the heat that creeped up my neck to my cheeks.

“Speaking of John!” She squealed with excitement, a twinkle in her eyes as she stared at me with a huge smile on her face, “he’s totally a hot one. I can tell just by the way you talk to him how smitten you are with him… aren’t you scared though?”

I raised an eyebrow at her question, “scared of what?” I asked, “if Garrett? Of what he might think? Not at all. He has Rose, why would he care about me anymore?”

“I don’t know. I just always knew mates were sacred. Soecial… I don’t know why I thought maybe he wouldn’t want to let you go. I know when I meet my mate one day, I’ll hold onto that bone forever,” she whispered absentmindedly, lost on her own little world.

“I always thought mates were sacred too. But Garrett made me have a different point of view on it. Now… I don’t know what to think of it. I apparently have a second chance mate out there. But I don’t know how to feel about it, or if I would accept them. I have John… he’s who I want to be with. Not some other mate who could break my heart all over again. I trust John, I trust him with my whole life. If I was to ever take another mate, it would be him. Chosen or fated… it would be him,” I said with nothing but honesty. Feeling every word I said.

Because it’s true. I don’t want anyone else. I want John. And if I can’t have him… I don’t want anyone else.

I’d rather be alone.

“Wow,” she said with widened eyes, “that’s- that’s beautiful. The raw emotion in the way you speak of him… it’s rare. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I feel right now from the way somebody spoke of someone they cared for. You have true love right there. Hold onto it… I think you guys are meant to be together. Fate be damned. I couldn’t imagine you with anyone else. Those feelings, those emotions… you don’t see them everyday. I’m glad you talked to me about everything, alpha. I think I’m going to rest now, I’m exhausted. I hope you find rest as well…”