Chapter 54: Questions.

John’s pov.

“John… What about you and Kadence?” She asked me. She legit asked me that.

“What about her?” I asked angrily, not wanting to even hear her name mentioned from her mouth, “don’t talk about her. I don’t want anything to do with women!”

Her eyes widened at my words, stepping away from me.

“What’s so bad about her? You got her pregnant after all…” she said calmly, watching my face for a reaction.

I sighed, knowing this would come eventually.

“Bella… Yes, I did get her pregnant. But she killed the pup. She did it all on her own so don’t listen to her twisted words. Whatever she said to you was a lie. When I first came here I wasn’t doing the best. I tried to find- a release. I know it’s not a good thing. But I wasn’t at my best, and I needed to find a way to get rid of all the pent up anger I had. I was a shell of myself, someone almost unrecognizable. I did what I had to do to survive. When I first found out she was pregnant, I was almost happy. The idea of a pup, of being a father, it made me think of someone other than myself. It made me think about being a better person for my child. So I could’ve raised them right. But… she didn’t want a child. She wanted lust, obsession. She didn’t want a child to come in the way of her attention. She- she killed it. She poisoned herself with wolfsbane until the connection she had to it snapped. Disappeared. When I found out… it took everything I had not to ruin her. She killed my pup, our pup! And I hate her with every fiber of my being. If it was up to me, she wouldn’t be a part of this pack anymore. Please, Bella. Just think about what I said,” I explained to her, desperate for her to listen, to understand.

Everything Kadence said to her was twisted. She’s a master manipulator.

She knows what to say to get into your head.

To get what she wants.

“I don’t understand,” she mumbled at first, looking anywhere but at me, “why would she do those things? How could she kill her own pup?”

Her voice broke at the end, the words just too much for her to say out loud.

“What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?” I asked softly, willing to do whatever she says.

“I… I don’t know,” she said honestly, her face paler than usual as she looked around so unsure of everything.

“Whatever you want me to do, whatever you want me or say, I’ll do it. I promise, I don’t want anything to do with Kadence. She broke my heart all over again after I left the only place I ever knew as home. I still can’t believe she went to you and said all of this stuff,” I muttered the last part, still so filled with rage at the fact she thought it was okay to go to Bella and fill her head with lies.

“John… I just need to know what she said wasn’t true. That you didn’t abuse her, that you don’t want her,” she said breathlessly, her eyes desperately searching my face for answers.

“Nothing she said was true, Bella,” I was quick to say, wanting to reassure her so we could possibly go back to the way we were before Kadence ruined everything between us.

“I… I believe you. I didn’t think it was true. I know you… or I thought I did. I’m sorry, John. I should’ve come to you about this sooner. I was just scared. Scared that you didn’t want me, us. I thought maybe you did want her back, that you wanted to try for another pup with her… and not me,” she said so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

An apology? She’s apologizing to… me?

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all Kadence. If she could’ve kept to herself… we wouldn’t have been in this situation. I’m just glad you decided you were comfortable enough to speak to me about it now. I missed you,” I said while walking towards her and brushing her hair out of her face, “I missed the way you looked at me. The way you spoke to me. And most of all, I missed the way you made me feel.”

She let out a shaky breath as she stared up into my eyes, her finger trailing up my chest slowly…

“I missed you too, John. So badly… I never wanted to be away from you. I just thought it was for the best at the time. But I realize now how I should’ve talked to you, we could’ve avoided all of this,” she said while laughing, her eyes twinkling as she spoke.

I laughed with her, loving the way it sounded. Missing the way her laughter sounded in my ears.

I grabbed her, pulling her close, watching as her lips parted in shock.

“John…” she whispered, looking at me nervously…

“Shh, don’t say anything else… just let me show you how much I missed the way your body felt in my hands…” I said before crashing my lips against hers, feeling my body tense at her moans and groans.

Wanting more of her.

Just as I went to kiss her harder she pulled back suddenly with a gasp.

“We- we can’t!” She stuttered, eyes wild with guilt and confusion.

“Why not…?” I asked just as confused as her, until I realized why.

“Because… Garrett is still connected to me. He may not feel it as badly now that Tundra is rejecting our bond but he can still feel it. And I’m scared he’ll start fucking Rose again, I don’t want to feel that pain tonight…” she said, sounding genuinely scared…

“Hey, come back here. It’s okay, just at least let me hold you, okay?” I said softly, willing to wait, to do whatever she wanted.

She looked at me before nodding her head once, walking back towards me before leaning her head on my chest.

Her tiny hands resting on the bottom of my back.

Titan sighed in my head, happy to finally have her in our arms again…

‘We need her more than you know, John. She’s very important…’ he whispered vaguely, not giving me anything else.

I rolled my eyes, deciding to ignore him this time. Not able to take his cryptic talk.

“Do you want to go home to Megan?” I asked suddenly, thinking about how she’s doing, wanting to see her for myself.

“Yes… I’m not the only one who’s missed you. I think she’s asked about you more than once a day. You’ve got yourself a little fan pup!” She said while chuckling.

I took her hand in mine as we left her office, towards little Megan.