Chapter 47: Big emotions.

Bella’s pov.

“They seriously can’t do it any sooner?” I asked elder Elian while groaning, wanting the rejection sooner than later. Not three weeks from now… I don’t know how much longer I can be tied to Garrett. I need our bond to be gone before I’ll ever be able to feel like myself again.

“Sadly, yes. Three weeks from now, that’s when they will be able to be there. And they have lots of questions for you… and Megan,” he said softly, searching my face for a reaction, not seeing one he continues to speak, “they said they’ll hold it in the Moon lights grounds. The elders own that territory so Garrett shouldn’t be able to try anything there.”

I clenched my fists at the mention of Megan. Trying to keep calm. Needing to keep calm.

“Why would they need to speak to Megan? I don’t want her anywhere near the ceremony… I’m keeping her here with Teeran while I go,” I said, leaving no room for arguments.

If they want to speak with her they’ll have to come here. I’m not taking her out of the pack. I won’t risk her safety. Not after what happened to her.

“Very well. I will let them know and explain the dangers of her appearance out of the pack, I will also let them know what happened to her and that’s why you don’t want her to go,” he replied while nodding his head, his eyes searching my face before he sighed, “Bella… you’re doing a great job. Just stay strong, okay? The pack is counting on you, I am counting on you. I stand behind you, behind Megan. I want what’s best for the pack and that’s you being the alpha. Don’t fall for any of Garrett’s tricks. He’s deceitful, manipulative, cunning and arrogant. When he wants something he makes sure he gets it, prove him wrong this time. Make sure he doesn’t win.”

He squeezed my shoulder slightly before turning around and walking out of my office without another word.

Leaving me to my thoughts.

Why would they need to talk to Megan?

I kind of understand but she’s just a child. Five years old, she wouldn’t be able to understand most of their questions.

And I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure they stay away from my daughter.

Especially Garrett. I don’t care if he shares the same blood as her. Blood means nothing when you treat your family like they are nothing.

Like they aren’t worthy.

Tundra growled in my head, not liking the way I’m thinking.

The way I’m thinking of Garrett.

‘You need to forget about him, stop letting him come into your mind so frequently. It’s not helping us become stronger,’ she said angrily in my mind, making me roll my eyes at her.

‘It’s that easy, Tundra. I wish it was but it isn’t. It just isn’t,’ I whispered back to her before closing myself off to her, not able to listen to her anger anymore.

I need to prepare. Prepare the pack for the king and queen's arrival.

We’ll have to make a feast. One good enough for royalty.

We’ll have to set up the best and biggest room for them to stay in.

And I’ll have to make sure the pack knows they will be here. And to show their respect and support when they get here and during their stay.

I can’t have anyone disrespect them or act inappropriately.

We already have enough to worry about with them coming here, with the queen's wolf missing.

I wonder if they’ve announced that yet. If anyone knows or if she’s keeping it a secret…

I don’t think they’d want anyone to know, that would put a target on the kingdom's back. With the Queen vulnerable, it would be easy to assassinate the king.

I need to make sure I don’t let them know that I know her wolf is missing… it could end badly.

Pushing those thoughts aside I focused back on how to prepare everyone for this. I’ve never met the king and queen before, never in the presence of royalty. I’m a little unsure but I want to make sure everything is done right. I don’t need to be on their bad sides.

I will call a pack meeting tomorrow morning, and I will try my best to prepare all of my pack members, new and old.

My mind drifted to John suddenly. Wondering if I should ask him to come here… if I should get his opinions and see where we should go from here…

But I can’t.

Not yet.

Not until I know what to do, what to say.

Until I give him time to figure everything out, so I can also figure everything out…

I want to… goddess knows I want to.

I miss the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me.

I wanted him to help me, to navigate this with me, but something inside of me raged. Raged for peace. Raged for time. Raged for a clear mind.

I couldn’t take that away from myself.

I deserved to tie up loose ends… to figure my life out. And most importantly, my heart.

I’ll mindlink him later…

Yes! I’ll mindlink him later and tell him about the pack meeting. That’s what I’ll do.

I laughed slightly to myself as I stood up, ready to head back to Megan.

I closed the door gently behind me as I listened to Megan’s infectious laughter.

It’s coming from her room, echoing across the walls. Making a smile come to my face from the sounds of it.

Goddess how I missed her laughter. Her happiness.

Teeran’s bringing her back…

“I’m home!” I called out, setting my things down on the counter before I took my jacket off.

Megan’s laughter died down before she came running through her door, straight towards me.

I crouched down just in time for her to land in my arms.

Her little arms were tightening around me and she breathed in my scent…

“I’m sorry, mommy… I don’t know why but I’ve been feeling so sad, I never meant to be bad to mommy,” she mumbled into my chest. But her words were clear as day for me.

“Don’t say you’re sorry, my baby. Mommy is always going to be here for you, I can take a little sadness from time to time when you feel you need to be. Your feelings matter. There’s always a reason why you feel that way and it’s okay to express those emotions… sometimes we have to find ways to talk about it calmly, even if that means with your therapist, or Teeran… or John. Whoever it is you want to talk to, they’ll be there for you, it’s important you don’t try and forget about your feelings or brush them aside, that’s not healthy, okay?” I whispered to her, brushing her hair with my hands, listening to her breath evening out before she pulled back to look at me.