Chapter 42: Painting of… Me?
Bella’s pov.
“Thanks, John,” I mumbled as I walked through the door, setting my stuff down, “you can go now.”
I tried to keep my voice calm, even.
I didn’t want him to think something was wrong.
I just need time to think about everything happening in my life… to think everything through.
To focus on my rejection.
And to let him consider his options with his own life.
His head turned in my direction, his one eyebrow raised questionably as he watched me.
“I thought I’d stay for dinner, and maybe help put Megan to bed and spend some time with you after,” he said softly, getting up from where he was sitting and walking towards me.
I sucked in a sharp inhale of breath. Wanting so badly for him to stay, to spend time with me.
But… I said I needed space. Time. I owe that to him…
“It’s okay, John. I’ll be okay tonight… I need time tonight. Tomorrow morning I have to meet with a bunch of the newer members to see if any of them might be a fit for watching Megan when I need,” I replied quietly, not able to meet his eyes, knowing deep down he’ll sense something is up as soon as he sees the look in my eyes.
He clicked his tongue while nodding his head slowly, “I see. Okay… I guess I’ll see you guys another day,” he mumbled, looking away from me towards Megan.
She sat there with a pout on her face, her arms crossed against her chest.
“I don’t want you to go, John!” She shouted angrily, her tiny fists clenched.
My heartbeat raced in my chest, so unsure of how to deal with her when she’s like this.
She never used to act out so badly.
“Listen, Megan. Your mom said not tonight. You listen to her, okay? She’s your mom and she only does the best, we have to listen to what she says. I’ll see you soon, I promise,” he said softly to her, giving her a hug before getting back up again, “you be good for your mom!”
I blinked my eyes in shock as he looked towards me one last time.
Not knowing why he has to be such a good man.
So grateful for everything he does and says.
“Thank you…” I whispered as he opened the door to leave.
He nodded his head once. Smiling softly as he closed the door behind him.
Leaving me alone with Megan.
“I’m so mad at you right now, mommy!” She cried, making me look towards her suddenly at the loud wails coming from her.
My eyebrows shot up at the tears pouring down her face, her lips curled in as she stared at me.
“Megan…” I tried to say but she cut me off by running into her room and slamming the door shut.
Leaving me wide eyed and shocked.
My sweet little girl… isn’t my sweet little girl anymore.
I sighed as I began to clean everything up.
Dishes on the table, pens, crayons and markers scattered along the floors.
Papers filled with paint and drawings no one but Megan would have drawn.
And… a painting that Megan couldn’t have done…
It’s me.
And my wolf…
I’m standing next to her, a waterfall behind us.
My black hair and blue eyes stand out against all of the purple and green around me.
While Tundra’s white fur is almost glowing among all the bright colours around her…
My hand rested on her back, a smile on my face as I looked down at her…
Purple flowers are on the ground, surrounding us while the grass was bright green…
The waterfall… was like the one here…
The flowers… were my favourite purple irises…
It even had the one beauty mark on the bottom of my mouth…
It looked so real, like he put so much effort and time into painting it…
It’s beautiful.
So beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off of it or put it down.
I clutched it close to my chest, taking it into my room and hanging it on the wall…
I want to cherish it forever…
It’s so… me.
I smiled as I stared at it for a while longer.
Just wanting to look at the way the paint sits there…
I wonder how he managed to paint it all today, or maybe he had been working on it for longer than that.
I guess I won’t know for a while.
Until I manage to ask him anyway.
I looked at it one more time before walking back to the living room to finish cleaning up their mess that they made while I was gone.
There’s wet paint brushes on the table still and some paint smeared on the floor…
I sighed as I bent down to wipe it all up.
Watching as the paint disappears.
I threw the cloth in the sink and wiped my hands off on my pants, taking another look around and seeing that I’m done.
There’s nothing left to clean.
My mind wanders back to John and what he might be doing right now.
I feel terrible for the way I just kicked him out of here.
I barely even said goodbye…
The way he looked at me, he knew something wasn’t right. That something was bothering me.
But the man he is, he also knew not to push me right now. Not to ask the questions he probably had.
And for that, I’m thankful.
Because I don’t even know what I’d say to him right now.
I don’t think the words would come out right.
And the last thing I want is to lose him forever.
So… for now, I want to do the right thing.
I want to be able to give all of myself to him, even if it’s only for a little while.
‘It won’t just be for a little while…’ Tundra suddenly said, grabbing my attention, ‘John and Titan are our future, Bella. You just can’t see it yet.’
‘We don’t know what the future holds, only the goddess knows… time will tell. But for now, Tundra… we need to face reality. I know you like them a lot, I do too… but we need to focus on the things in front of us. For example, our mate, Garrett? We’re still tied to him. We need to hold that rejection ceremony. Until then, we shouldn’t be thinking of a future with John and his wolf.’