Chapter 39: Bad Dreams Another Day.

Bella’s pov.

I laid awake in bed. All of John's words on repeat in my head.

“You’re worth everything.”

I groaned as I shoved my pillow over my face, trying to get his words out of my head.

Not knowing what I should do.

He’s so great. The greatest man I’ve ever met.

He treats me so good, and not just me, Megan too.

I’ve never experienced this kind of feeling. He seems to bring the best out of me, without even trying.

I smiled despite myself, knowing I shouldn’t be right now. But what can I do?

What about that second chance mate the goddess spoke about? What am I supposed to do after he shows up?

I don’t think I’d be able to erase the emotions I feel towards John.

It would be almost impossible.

I don’t think I want a second chance mate. I don’t think I want another mate at all.

And if I did… I think I’d want it to be John.

‘I don’t want another wolf. I want him, I want Titan,’ Tundra said in my mind, her voice softer than usual.

“I know,” I whispered out loud, staring at the ceiling, “but what can we do? We have a second chance mate out there somewhere, will we reject them? We know how much that hurts.”

‘We would do whatever it takes to be with them,’ she responded before curling into herself, shutting herself off to me.

“And what about Garrett…” I whispered out loud to myself. Knowing she wasn’t listening to me anymore.

He wants to have a rejection ceremony.

As soon as possible…

I hated to admit that it kind of hurt me.

The smaller pieces of me are still trying so hard to hold onto that bond.

Even if I didn’t want to.

We were together for seven years, we even had a pup together. We’ll always be connected. Even if I didn’t like it.

I swear he’s going to try to pull something during it.

I’ll have to convince the higher elders to hold it on neutral grounds. I can’t have them coming back into my pack again.

Especially Rose. There’s something up with her… something not right.

I just couldn’t place it yet. But I would…

At the thoughts of Rose, Tundra perked up again, trotting back to the front of my mind.

‘There’s many things wrong with that one… first being that she isn’t a wolf. Second being she’s keeping more secrets from everyone than anyone will come to know,’ she said casually, her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth as she laidback with her paws crossed.

I rolled my eyes, wondering how she’d know that.

‘Because, I could smell the fake scent all over her, it was repulsive. Garrett isn’t even a real alpha if he can’t tell himself,’ she scoffed, closing her eyes and going to sleep.

Which is what I should be doing right now… but I couldn’t.

How is she not a wolf? What is she?

A million things raced through my mind, giving me an excruciating headache along with fatigue. Making it almost impossible to shut my brain off.

I threw my blanket off of myself, getting out of bed and walking towards my dresser.

Grabbing a smoke and lighter before sneaking outside, onto the balcony.

I slipped my jacket on, to keep the cold wind off of my skin.

Hoping this smoke might help clear my mind.

I took a long drag, mentally kicking myself again for not quitting.

But I’m a werewolf. It can’t kill me, and if it helps ease my mind, why should I?

I looked off into the distance. Watching the warriors on patrol, switching shifts casually.

I nodded my head at a few of them, smiling even if I didn’t feel like it.

Knowing I have to act strong and brave in front of my members. To be the leader they deserve.

My mind drifted back to Garrett. Back to Rose. And their son…

What if… what if he isn’t actually his son? What if he’s some other guy's son?

She’s not even a wolf. How else would they have a child?

Different supernatural beings can’t reproduce. It’s common knowledge.

Unless… She's a dark witch.

That would make a lot of sense actually.

That rotten feeling she gave me.

The ‘fake’ scent Tundra sensed.

The looks she sent my way whenever our eyes met.

And if it’s true… we’re in big trouble.

Just as I put my cigarette out three taps sounded on the glass door.

Making me jump around, the sound scaring me out of my thoughts.

Megan stood there, rubbing her tired eyes.

My hand flew to my heart as I realized it was just my daughter.

She must’ve woken up and found my bed empty.

I opened the door, stepping inside and taking my jacket off.

“What’s up, hun?” I asked as I crouched down to her level. Smiling at her sleepy face.

“I had another nightmare. Mom… when will they go away?” She mumbled, tears falling from her eyes as she searched my face for answers. Answers I was afraid I couldn’t give her.

“I’m sorry, baby. I… I don’t know. But it’s going to be okay. They won’t last forever, it’s just your brain reacting to trauma. You’ll be okay, baby…” I mumbled, rubbing her arms up and down with my hands. Trying anything I can to soothe her.

It’s all Garrett’s fault. He traumatized her so badly that this is the mental state she’s in now. And she’s only five years old.

“Okay, I just don’t like these things. They really scare me,” she said while shifting her feet around nervously, the fear she felt clearly noticeable.

“Let’s get you back in bed, okay? Tomorrow morning, John will come over for breakfast, does that sound good?” I said, trying to distract her from the fear, knowing if I mentioned John she’d perk up a little.

And as I thought, a little smile made its way onto her face, her eyes also sparkling a little.

“Really? I would love that! I miss him already,” she whined, making me laugh slightly.

It’s so unbelievable how much she likes him. She barely likes anyone. Like at all.

I walked her back to her room, hand in hand. Hoping this time she won’t have any more bad dreams.

I laid down beside her, reading all of her favourite books before finally she fell asleep.

I watched her for a few minutes. Just wanting to be close to my pup.

My baby. My little girl.

The best thing that ever happened to me.

And I’ll make her father pay for what he’s done to her.