Chapter 19: Chapter nineteen - I love you

[REN]

Three marvelous days in the cells later.

It's funny how big bad Alpha thinks that he might break my spirit by dragging me down here. Ha.

So far, it's been nothing but heaven down here.

Good food, prisoners are pretty good companies, especially rogues. I know, I know, everyone says that we should avoid them, but they have such exciting stories to tell. They have seen so much and been through even more.

The only thing which sucks is mate pull. I'm starting to feel him. I'm starting to miss him. At first, I felt so free and so happy for just being away from him. But now, I'm feeling miserable.

I don't trust that man. I can't trust him.

And yet I miss him dearly.

"Hey, Ren," the rogue man from the opposite cell spoke.

"Hey, Blaze, what's up?" I giggled.

"Nothing, still hanging, you know," he laughed. He's the best company I had in years; he reminds me of Nate.

We laughed and chatted for what seemed to be at least an hour. Soon, when other prisoners seemed to fall asleep once again, we started whispering. None of us wanted to disturb them; only the Moon Goddess herself knows what that heartless monster is doing to them. Suddenly we heard a loud, aggressive bang coming from the doors, which led to the staircase coming down here.

Both of us carefully observed what is about to happen. Soon the one and only Alpha Valentino stood in front of my cell.

It would be gentle for me to say that he looks like a piece of shit. He has dark circles under his eyes, his hair still hasn't been styled, and he reeks of alcohol. It looks like I'm the only one who did enjoy this time being apart.

"My Queen," he whispered under his breath.

"Alpha Valentino, how can I help you?" I tried to sound cold; by now, it's so damn hard to hide excitement I'm feeling for finally seeing him, being a bit closer.

Am I falling in love?

No, it can't be!

He's a monster!

A heartless killer!

He doesn't give a damn about anyone other than himself!

He's cold!

God, yes, he was excellent for a start, but then he decided to punish me for not wanting to kiss him. He can't just push himself onto me like that. Can he? That was my first real kiss...

No, snap out of it, Ren! You don't love him, you are not falling in love, and you will not dare to love him!

"I told you not to call me Alpha, my name is Azrael, baby. Please, please call me by my name, no more Alpha bullshit," he spoke as calmly as never. Yet, his eyes still didn't meet mine; he was avoiding any opportunity to look at me.

"How can I help you? I'm enjoying my punishment here, remember? Getting ready for torturing and beating, it should start any moment now!" I yelled at him in anger. Of course, I did say some things sarcastically, but he does deserve my attitude now! Win me over or let me go, asshole! I kept an intense gaze on him until he finally looked into my eyes. His eyes became pitch black, full of anger, but there was something more. Regret? Pain? No, it can't be, he's not able to feel anything! Is he?

"Nobody, I repeat NOBODY will fucking dare to touch you, to hurt you in any way. I shall personally destroy any piece of shit who will dare to try, even more - dare to fucking think about that," he spoke through gritted teeth. His eyes once again landed on his feet.

"It's funny, because," I was already started to speak about my "oh so sarcastic" statement, but he cut me off.

"No, wait," he took a deep breath and looked at me again, "My Queen, I am nothing but a fool, I am a fucking loser, and I do not deserve someone as pure and perfect as you are. I do try, but I can't promise that I shall succeed. I've never felt something like this before. Never. You, you affect me so much, I can't understand what is happening to me. I can't stand the thought of you rejecting me or pushing me away. I am so fucking sorry, baby girl, I am. I should never have to lock you down here. I should never have tried to kiss you without you wishing for me to do so. I shouldn't have acted as stupid as I did. I am so fucking sorry. I'm not asking for you to forgive me now, all I'm asking for, no, I'm fucking begging for you to give me a chance. I will do fucking anything to be good enough," he sighed and kept an intense gaze on my lips. Only a fool wouldn't notice the helpless state he was in.

"Ren, give him a chance," my wolf decided to speak up.

"I wish I wouldn't want to do so; I wish I could say no and send him back to the damn Hell, where he came from. But I can't. I want to try," I whispered to her as of afraid for someone hearing our private conversation.

I was busy talking to my wolf, Azrael came into the cell and dropped on his knees.

"I've never begged someone, even at my worst I have never dropped on my knees, but in front of you, my Queen, for you and only you, I shall crawl over millions of lands, if you will tell me to do so. I am so fucking stupid," he barely spoke.

I stood up and was about to answer, but he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Please don't leave me, I can't live without you, I just can't anymore. I'm in a shit state because I can't stand being away from you. I need you so fucking much. Raven, I love you," he whispered the last words.

"I shall give you a chance. Mess this up, and I'm gone," I spoke under my breath.

He instantly stood up and cupped my cheeks in his large palms, tracing kisses all over my face.

"Thank you; I promise I won't mess it up, I'll be damned if I will! I love you so much!" he spoke in between the kisses.

Somewhere deep down, I hoped that his words were genuine.

As dad used to say: "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst"...