Shael
Life is getting difficult when some taunting words hit you from your own people. Breakup, um no! Some vicious people always keep you pending like you are a thing not human or God's creatures. I've fed up with my daily boring with the same routine life. So, I've signed up to three visa agents, for a study abroad visa. America, Parias, Australia, London,,,, Doesn't matter which city? I just wanna get out of here. My elder brother Sunny has got his Advocate Certificate, don't know what it is called. but yes, He is an Advocate. He will look after momma if I will no longer be part of there's life. My momma wants a boy instead of me. She thinks they can earn more money and secure a better future themselves. She doesn't want me, that has changed everything, almost everything. and on second hand, I'm not expecting anything from my relationship with Jazz, I wasted Six years in a hollow relationship. that self-centered, pathetic, fishy guy. He only knows to make fake promises. I'm a jackass who trusted him, two years ago, he got the London visa and flew away, without informing me. He lies to me. Still this love wants me to be blind and deaf whenever my wit caught his lies. He didn't see my WhatsApp messages, it's been pending for months. I've missed the counting of the days when I got proof of his spending time with someone. I'm really hating myself for trusting that cruel, emotionless, heartless stone.
I was lost deep in my thoughts. Suddenly my phone rings and this sudden ring scares the hell out of me.
I answered it. It was one of the visa agents. After five minutes of talking , I gave him the details of my document. I come to the result that I haven't any future. Total amount he told me is ₹twenty lakh, for a student visa. I don't have a penny, how will I arrange this amount.
God is so cruel to me. Why can't he give me some money from his piggy bank?
I don't expect anything from my mother, nor love in exchange. She kept herself busy in her life. Her life revolves around her son. It doesn't matter to me now. Waiting what other agents have to say.
I need a miracle right now. Would that! I could ask Harry Potter to wave his wand.
Obviously I'm not going for Jas. I'm away from him. Thought of him being someone has killed me many times in the past. But now I'm strong, I guess. He has broken my heart. I knew, " He runs after other girls, I'm not mentioning it. Doesn't mean I don't know the truth. "
Otherwise why would someone break the heart of his/her partner? I don't even trust him now. He didn't ask me before leaving India.
"Thanks to God, at least this darkness and silence of midnight is giving me some peace. " I whispered to herself.
I wanna sleep but I know it will not come easily. This has been happening for many months. I couldn't sleep. If I sleep. Some nightmare teases me and then the most loving dream of blue eyes peering at me, grabs all worries.
I was trying to sleep. I heard the ringing of my phone. Display was showing my bestie's name, Sammie. I smiled. At least I have a friend who genuinely loves me, we are sisters.
" Oh!! right timing. I really need to talk to her right now." I told me and immediately picked it up.
" Hye, how are you?" I said cheerfully
" Great, what about you?" she asked.
Before I could reply, She told me to check my messages.
" What's wrong? " I worriedly asked her.
" Just go and check it," she said in a hurry and hung up.
I was already upset and sheeeeee........ ufff. I touch some icons on my phone's display. I just checked my messages and my mouth gapes and I forgot to close it after seeing it.
I couldn't believe my eyes, what it was seeing.
my phone beeped and new text was showing.
"Congratulations to me. I know, It was so sudden, I just couldn't let it know anyone. Are you happy for me? " Sammie.
In the first one picture, she was with a man with a turban and beard. Sammie was standing so close to him in a bridal red dress. That means she got married.
"What the......! " I hold my tongue.
My phone was beeping, showing her texts.
I was already tense and she pissed me off.
Unquestionably, I'd be extremely glad if my only best friend would get married. But come on, man! She is my only friend. She hadn't invited me. It was not about even inviting. Gloomy part of it, She tells me, when she had gotten married, not when she was getting married.
Huge difference!
How could she do that to me. Most of all, why does she want my opinion now?
Phone was beeping as it had gone mad.
I didn't wanna hurt her with my rudeness. I hit the switch off button and tried to calm myself, this day has agonised me. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
But it was sleep, my recent enemy. My mind went back to our childhood memories, where we used to play the whole day, our school time's memories. She betrayed our friendship. if she didn't wanna invite me, it's ok. but why is she telling me now? Why not before. I closed my eyes and concentrated not to think anything. Luckily, my eyes get heavy with sleep.
It was dark, " Hey, wait. Stop." I ran after him
He stopped. I closed the distance. I rested my hand on his arm and he turned to face me.
" Wow, You've blue eyes. " I was astonished.
" We'll meet soon. Till then, goodbye. " He said and vanished in the dark.
In the morning I woke up, outside was lit up with sunlight. It had been three months, I was dreaming the same dream of a blue eyed boy. These blue eyes and Sammie would betray me. These two dreams are never turning into reality, these are the only two. My dreams never took so long to change into reality. I put on my slipper and brushed my teeth. I went downstairs. Mom was in the kitchen.
"Good morning, Mommy. " I said lazily.
" Oh! What's the time, dear? " She said tauntingly.
" I don't know. you know, I don't see Clock or something else in the morning before looking at your face. Ain't you aware of it? " I asked her, looking at her. No matter what, how would she treat me. I'll always love her.
" Would that!! I could spend life like your! " She told Enthusiastically.
I raised my left eyebrow, which I had learned with a lot of practice. " Believe me you don't wanna momma." I said.
" By the way, you're more pretty than me. why you wanna like me. I always wanna like you momma." I told her.
My mommy! She's a natural beauty. She still looks Twenty five years old. I don't know how she has maintained her?
" I'm not talking about looks. " She said.
" Got that. Anyways, Sammie got married." I told her with no emotion.
"Sammie!!! What!! " she screamed with surprise. Lucky to find her shock. Now I can tell we have something in common.
"How? When? and yo you are telling me now". She stumbled.
" Relax, mom.....She texted me at night. She also told me a few hours ago. " I told her.
She paused for five minutes, " Can I get my food momma? " I humbly asked her. I am going to die with hunger soon if I'm not getting food.
" So that's the reason you showed yourself at the middle of the day. " she questioned .
" Mom I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. SO PLEASE. " I said each word carefully.
" You both are......... " mom started.
I cut her off and didn't let her complete the sentence.
" I'm going to my room, momma bye" I told her.
" You okay! My doll? " she asked with concern.
" Like really? None of your business. " I frowned.
" Have your breakfast, Sweetie." she said from the kitchen.
" It's noon momma, if I'm not wrong. " I sarcastically said and went to my room.
I know, I didn't sleep properly at night. Days aren't friendly with me these days.
I looked in my cupboard. I've two main problems in my life, one - I don't know what to wear and two - I've nothing to wear. It is gonna chase me till the end of my life.
I picked up my favorite white top with green, blue and orange streaks and white trousers.
I hope shower will give me some relief.
I locked the door of my bathroom. Instantly, I got a knock, " What the...... " I got irritated.
" Your food is on your bed, eat it. Okay? " She asked.
" Mom.....? oh! alright. I will." I smirked.
We could fight, argue. But at the end of the day, we patch up. My mommy mostly treats me like her friend. Hatred or Love we explain on each other's face.