Chapter 24

Allison’s p.o.v

I looked at him as he stretched the ring towards me.

I felt unsure. He seemed to have noticed my hesitation so he pulled back

“You.. you don’t want to be with me?” he sounded hurt.

“I just... I feel like we are rushing things. We’ve dated for what? Six week, I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of relationship”

I felt I was right. We had a lot to straighten out before we could move to the next step.

He closed the box looking disappointed.

“It’s my legs, isn’t it?” I did a double take, looking at him.

“What?!”

“Its fine. I should have known its too good to be true.”

He moved back a bit from me “you know, sometimes I wonder, what even is the reason. I should have just died with them you know” he said and buried his head in his hands.” I had never been confused before.

“death? Who died?” I felt panic within me

“it’s fine, I didn’t mean to bother you” he moved closer to the edge.

“Ben?” I called In a panicked voice. He moved. Little closer again. “Ben!” I moved forward to grab him, rolling him back. “What is wrong with you!” I yelled. He looked shocked. It was not something I did.

“look, I understand you don’t want to be with me, but I’d love to be alone with my thoughts right now.” He pleaded

“okay” I moved to go back to the car or at least out of his presence so that he could think but I stopped mid way. “just so you know, your legs have nothing to do with it. I love you just the same. Your legs don’t change a thing”

“yeah” I could tell he didn’t believe that but I meant it. “But yet you don’t want to take the next step.” He scoffed. “I know I’m a failure, I’ll learn to accept it. You know to think that four weeks ago, you were over the moon thinking of marrying me.”

“it –“

“it’s fine” he cut me off, let’s go home” I looked at his face, there were no facial expressions to know how he felt.

The tension in the car was enough to smother me to death.

“You can go back to Birmingham tonight, Arnold would be resuming this afternoon.” Ben said. I assumed he was talking to the driver

The driver used the rear view mirror to look at me and nodded his head.

“You can also retire for the day. I have no where else to go today” he nodded again.

We got back to the house with no one else saying anything in the car

Immediately he was helped out of the car, he went into the house, slamming the door shut.

“Hey, are you okay?” I nodded

“Aaron right?” I asked him.

“Yeah... look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here if you need to talk to anyone” I nodded, I wanted to tell him that there was nothing to worry about and it wasn’t in his place to say those things, but I kept quiet. What was at the fore front of my mind was Ben.

I ran after him, catching him just before he walked into the room.

“are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” I had this sense of deja vu.

“No Allison” he didn’t even bother to look at me.

“Are you sure? Because it looks like you do”

“Do you love me Allison!

Perplexed, I answered “of course” that was never the question.

“Sure” he answered in a disbelieving manner.

“You don’t believe me?” I could not believe he would doubt me I had never given him any reason to doubt me.

“Of course I do, it’s just, it’s so hard to believe you know, you don’t t want to be intimate with me, you don’t want to marry me, you don’t want to do many things!”

“I’m not just ready” I pleaded, hoping he would understand. It sounded scary.

He went into the room, leaving me there.

I already felt tired from the whole day’s event so I went into my room to cool off.

I was stopped at the door when I saw what was in front of me.

Balloons

‘I love you’

‘thanks for accepting me’

‘She said yes’ was decorated all around the room.

I didn’t know what to do.

A bag sat on the bed and I carefully approached it, scared I was going to find something that would make me feel bad for turning him down.

I opened the bag. It was a key, a car key with the inscription

“to spending our lives together.” I swallow the lump that wouldn’t go down my throat.

I looked into the bag again and there was some cash and then flower beside.

I looked at the money. It was a lot, but something about it didn’t feel right.

I put them to the side. I was going to talk to him later on when he had calmed down.

I really did miss the days when we were not this complicated.

I sat on the floor nor really knowing what to do

**

I gasped, opening my eyes in an instance. I didn’t even realise that I slept of. My phone was ringing

It was strange. I never had my ozone ring before, mainly because I did not know anyone.

I picked, finding out that it was Mila.

“Girl, where have you been! You kidnapped?” Mila said with a thick American accent. I never noticed it, mainly because I never focused on it.

I apologised, telling her everything I could about the situation I was in, leaving out the part of who it was or the events that lead to him proposing. And just telling her of how I wasn’t ready for a commitment.

It was so good to get it off my chest even though I couldn’t go into detail.

*knock knock knock*