Chapter 213 The Letters

Chapter 213 The Letters
Letter from Kamila to Cole:
"My dear boy,
If you receive this letter, I somehow ended up dead. Nobody can live forever, right? I'm hoping I'm old, wrinkled and grey, but in case I'm not, there are a few things I want you to remember. I loved you as my own, you were the best bonus I could have ever wished for, even though you became mine because I lost my best friend. I hope that through me, you experienced the love your mother had for you. You might regret your earlier years because of all the psychologists and psychiatrists, the meds that didn't make you feel like you, but I'm so proud of you for overcoming all of that. You built a life regardless of everything you had to go through. If I had only a fraction of your strength, then I would have been a great person. I know you're still fighting demons every single day, but I hope you get help when things become too much. I've been keeping a big secret, but I'm dead now, and I don't want you living on not knowing the truth. Your coach is your real father, it's a secret I've kept for your mother, but I think you deserve to know. Do with that information what you feel is the right thing to do. I've respected her wishes until now, but she can deal with my ass up in heaven. So now you know, you are not a part of that vile man, and maybe why you're so into sports also makes sense now. Trust me, I also never thought your mother would get freaky with a jock, but it was written in the stars so you could be here, and be with us. Now, my boy, I know you're in love with my daughter, and please know that you have my full permission to pursue her if that is what you want. Just promise me that you will always be there for her, even if it's not romantically, and protect her just like you've always done. But in my heart, I hope the two of you find each other, and love each other deeply, and get to live the lives that neither me or your mother ever got to have. You have already made me so, so proud, and I couldn't have asked for a better son.
Love always,
Kamila.
Cole's letters to Monet:

"Hey,
This feels a little stupid, but I thought it was such a great idea that Kamila left us letters, so I thought I should start writing to you. Just in case something ever happens to me, and I have to leave you here alone, so you know you will always have a part of me, and that a part of me is always with you. I love you so much, that sometimes it feels like it's too much, that I'm losing the last of my sanity if you're not close to me. I know it sounds insane, right? We're probably too young, stupid and naive, but I don't ever see myself loving anyone but you.
Yours always,
Cole."

"Monet,
You're sleeping now, and I should be too, but I can't help but stare at you. I've done it since I came to live with you guys, and I think that Kamila thought I was a little psycho for doing it. The reason I do it, is because it quiets the noise inside of me. When I look at you sleeping, all the voices that whisper in my head, telling me I'm bad, that I should die, shut up. You are my savior.
Cole"

"Hi,
I'm sorry about last night. I know you're sore and tired, and I just took and took from you. I wish I could be a better man for you. Sometimes I wish I didn't love you, all so I wouldn't hurt you.
Cole"

"Monet,
I just saw you yesterday, but I miss you. I hate sleeping without you. You have these little contented sighs when you're sleeping really well. It always makes me smile. You'll be at the game later, but one night away from you feels like one night too many.
Cole"

"Monet,
I came from the gym this morning, and as I was walking to my truck, I noticed two white butterflies flapping their wings right in front of me, so I stopped and held out my hand. Guess what happened? They came to sit on my hand. Two white butterflies. I know I'm a little superstitious, especially when it comes to football, but that couldn't have been a coincidence, right? I believe it was our moms, coming to tell me they're okay, and they're together. It had to be them.
Cole."

"Monet,
I love you. Even though you probably hate me right now for leaving you. It's been six months without you, and every day feels like a dagger through my heart. I think I'm doing better now, I feel less guilty of what happened. I know now nothing of it was my fault, but sometimes I still think it was. The man staring back in the mirror doesn't feel like a stranger anymore. I've always looked at myself through you, and never through my own eyes. I'm still not sure I like what I see, but I'm getting there. I might never give you this letter, because you might never take me back. I hope you do, I really hope you do. All the sessions trying to make me come to terms of what happened to me as a child, are good and all, but there's one thing I will never regret. That is meeting you when we were so small. You are still the light in my darkness, and I realized that you will always be the calm to my storm.
I loved you then, and I love you now,
Cole."