Chapter 192: You are here - Monet

I'm tired. I've been worried so sick about Cole that I barely slept a wink. I was so grateful when Luke came over to tell me that his father found Cole at Mom's house, and that he is okay. At least physically.

Yet, I still struggled to fall asleep, clutching his pillow to my chest and inhaling his lingering scent, just wishing that he would come back to me.

So when I hear the front door being unlocked in the middle of the night, I for sure thought I was imagining things, that my tired brain conjured him up somehow. And when his familiar, tall body crept into the bed next to me, I shut my eyes tightly, hoping that this dream would stay with me.

"Monet."

Is it my imagination? Is the heat of his breath on the skin of my neck real? The arm clutching me around my middle, is it really him?

It is.

I turn around in his arms and grab him, holding him tightly to me as tears pour down my face unashamedly.

"Cole." His name is an answered prayer on my lips. "Don't ever leave me again."

I don't want to live without him. In a world where my father was never really one to begin with, and my mother died who sacrificed everything for us, I don't want to be without him ever again. I felt broken not knowing if he was safe and unharmed.

"I'm sorry." He whispers in my hair, holding me just as tightly, and I'm struggling to breathe but I don't care. He's here, and that is all that matters. "I didn't mean to leave you, but I had to see him, I had to know if it is true."

I pull back, not really able to see his full expression because it's still dark. "You went to see your father?"

I thought maybe that's something that he would do, especially after that day in the park when he became so depressed after receiving that email about the parole.

"He's not my father, Monet." There is pain in his voice. "He is a spineless asshole for a man, and I'm really happy that I'm not his child."

"That's a good thing, right?" I map his face with my hands, touching him so I know that he is here, and that he is real.

"Is it?" The pain turns to frustration, and I wish I could take all of this away from him. I wish nothing bad ever happened to him. "My whole life I believed I was his son, and now that I'm not, I'm not sure who I'm supposed to be."

My heart breaks for him, for us, How could he ever doubt who he is when he is my whole world? If everything were to be taken away from me, I'd be happy because I know that I was loved by him.

"You're mine." My tears flow freely now, and I kiss his lips softly. "You are my protector, and maybe fate had a hand in bringing us together, because we were always meant to find one another. If you ever doubt who you are, know that your are mine, and I don't care who your father is."

A sob so deep, and heart wrenching breaks free from his chest, I kiss him hard, opening up his mouth with my tongue so I can take some of that pain that he carries in his chest. He holds me up every day, I never want him to suffer like this on his own.

We just hold each other, and somehwere along the line we fall asleep with his head on my chest, and my phone ringing wakes me up, the light in the room telling me it's daytime.

I don't answer it. Instead, I look down at Cole's face sleeping peacefully, tear tracks dry on his face, and he's never looked so handsome than what he does now.

My damaged boy, who manages to get up every single time. Life tried to break him, split him apart, yet here he is next to me. That is a true testament of who he is.

My phone rings again, and I hesitantly get it from the nightstand, Cole stirring at the noise.

"Hi." I say softly, but it's already too late, electric blue eyes open and looking at me.

"Hey, is Cole back?" Amy asks. "Luke's dad went to your house again this morning and he wasn't there."

"He's home with me." The words feel healing.

Hs eyes close when I run my fingers over his lips.

"Cool, listen, could you ask him to come over to our house? My dad really wants to talk to him." She sounds nervous on the other side, and I know that this is not easy on her family either.

"I'll talk to him." But I know he hears everything when he frowns. "I'll talk to you later. "

He buries his head back on my breasts, groaning deeply, my fingers going into his irresistible curls.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." I kiss the top of his head. "And you don't owe anybody anything."

In fact if I could keep him in this bubble of just the two of us, I will.

He licks a line up my chest before kissing my lips softly. "I want you naked and sitting on my face the whole day, but I have to do this."

"I'm proud of you." He's not running away from it, and that is so admirable.

We shower together, longer than what we would have done it apart, and I still look like shit with my eyes swollen when he's dressed and looking hot, ready to see Coach.

"I'm gonna take the bus into campus later, okay?" I kiss him before he leaves. "Please switch your phone on, I know you got a new one."

"On it." He kisses me one more time before he leaves, and I smile, happy to have him back.

I hope that he's able to close that chapter now, and that whatever Coach has to say, would be good for him, and not take him back to that dark place.

I sigh at my car when I'm ready to leave for campus, wishing I was as brave as Cole and ready to face my demons, but I'm still a little coward as I walk to the bus stop.

A black car that I don't know, drives slowly up to me, making me frown, and I'm already getting my phone out of my backpack. When the window rolls down, and I see the face smiling at me, I make a run for it, my heart beating frantically in my chest and wondering why the fuck the street is deserted right now!

But I don't get far, because he's probably five times faster than me, and when the cloth is pressed into my face, I know that I'm in deep fucking shit.