Chapter 13: What have I done - Monet

I slide back to the room, my heart beating so loudly in my chest, I'm sure Cole can hear it all the way in the living room.

I try to be as quiet as possible as I get in bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. I'm fucking sick in my head. Oh my god, Mom would be so disappointed in me if she knew I spied on a private moment.

What would Cole think? We just started getting back on good terms again. He's going to be pissed off again, I'm sure of it.

It feels like the whole foundation underneath my feet is shaken. I was never supposed to see him like that.

And why does my panties feel ruined by just the thought of how he commanded that girl?

This is Cole. My brother Cole. The one who picked me up when I fell while we were running, and bandaged my knee. He's the same person who gave Robbie Richardson a black eye for bullying me when I was in the fifth grade. He's the same Cole I used to sneak into bed with when he had one of his terrible nightmares.

Now I've gone and ruined it all because I was what? Why did I look around that corner when I knew for a fact it was Cole, and not Luke in that living room?

And how in the world could I feel so....

Aroused?

Maybe it's time I should give James a chance, I'm clearly hormonal and horny, that's the only explanantion there is.

Whatever I saw, never happened, and whatever I'm feeling right now, is not real.

But I can't fall asleep. I toss and turn next to Amy, Cole's smell all around me not helping in the slightest.

Is he always like that when he has sex?

So.....

Dominant?

I'm not even into things like that, I never watched the popular BDSM movies that everyone was going crazy over, so why the hell am I wondering what the pull on my scalp would feel like if my hair was wrapped around a fist like that? What would I do to deserve to get fucked?

I want to scream in my pillow, but I'm scared I'm going to wake Amy up. I can't exactly go outside, he's probably fucking that girl's brains out as we speak.

The morning can't come fast enough, and when it's past six, I wake Amy up, who groggily groans.

"What time is it?"

"Time to go home." I'm already up and putting on my sneakers and socks.

I nee to go for a run. A fast one that sweats out the alcohol and makes me forget that I got wet for my own damn brother.

What would he do if he found out I was spying on him like a psychopath?

Would he tell Mom?

She would be so disappointed in me, and give me a lecture about boundaries.

And I would deserve it, too, because I crossed a boundary with my brother that I will never be able to put up again.

He definitely knew someone was watching him. I don't think he saw me, because that would open the can of worms that I'd rather stay sealed shut.

No, I'm going to pursue James, he's exactly the kind of guy that is cute, sweeet and nice, even thouh Amy thinks I should be careful. Last night he showed me again how respectful he is. Sure, girls are probably going to throw themselves at him, especially when he starts playing, but that doesn't mean he would jump into bed into them.

"What's wrong with you?" Amy growns when she sees the time on her phone. "It's not even seven yet."

"I could leave you here, and run to my dorm, but we promised your father we're responsible right? And I'm never leaving you behind."

Isn't that some kind of girl code? Never leave your friend behind, even if it is at my borther's place. I think Amy is the one I should be careful of, I wouldn't it put it past her to get into bed with poor Luke. The guy wouldn't know what to do if she did that.

"You are definitely mad." She grumbles, but she gets up and starts looking for her shoes. "Also, we need to buy toothbrushes for this place, my mouth feels like a dog shit in it."

"That is disgusting." I walk to the door, and open it wider, listening for signs if people are awake, but it's silent, so I carefully walk into the living room, fully expecting to find Cole and Stacey naked on the couch.

Instead, only Cole is spread out on the leather, his muscled torso on full display as he sleeps with his mouth slightly open and his arm underneath his head. A blanket is draped over the lower part of his body, and I wonder if he put on his boxers, or if I will find him naked if I pull down the blanket.

Would his cock be hard like last night?

Every magazine says that guys have morning wood, so would I get another view if the blanket accidently slipped?

"God damn." Amy groans behind me. "Maybe I should give the cherry to Cole."

She starts snapping pictures of him, much to my horror. "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing a favor to all humanity. Also, if an underwear brand sees this, he will get a contract and we can buy more boots."

"Let's just go." I'm already quietly walking to the front door, Amy's heat behind me.

"Going already?" Coel's deep voice says suddenly, and we both jump.

My whole face is burning when I turn around and face him.

What is happening to me? Why does it feel like sweat is breaking out on my forehead at the sight of my brother sitting on the couch, his curls flopping over his forehead, and his blue eyes burning into mine.

Does he know?

Please God don't let him know.

"Morning, I'm going for a run, and I thought it would be good if Amy goes home early." I'm surprised at how smooth my voice comes out when my insides are trembling.

Trembling with lust. Is his skin hot to the touch? Would a shiver move through him if I touched his muscled biceps? Would he tell me to take it if I sucked his cock deep into my throat?

"Bye!" I manage to open the door and flee, my pussy clenching around nothing.

I'm in trouble.

I'm having thoughts about my brother I shouldn't have.

What am I going to do?

Pretend I never saw what I saw, that's the only way.