Chapter 50 HAPPEN AGAIN
RACHEL
“Seriously… I don’t get it.” A nervous laugh broke through his voice. “You’re actually worried about whether I’d expose you guys or not? Why don’t you get it? It’s not about—” His voice faltered for a second, like whatever he was about to say hurt too much to come out.
I sighed, tired, one hand resting on my forehead as I looked at him again. “Look, Thane and I… we know what we’re doing. You don’t need to worry about us. All I need to know is if our secret is safe with you, at least until we figure things out.”
He scoffed. “I see you guys are ‘we’ now.” He shook his head slightly. “If your fear is me keeping your secret, you know that’s not a problem for me. It’s just…” A bitter, quiet laugh escaped him. “I still can’t figure out how you don’t see it. Or maybe you do, and you’re just playing me for a fool again?”
“Jay…”
“I like you, Rach,” he cut in before I could say anything. “A lot. You know that too, and that’s the whole point. I feel like you… you already know…” He exhaled sharply. “Just forget it.”
He wiped his mouth and took a step back, not breaking eye contact with me. “I’ll go see the doctor.”
He didn’t wait for me to respond before turning and walking away.
As I watched him leave, something felt heavy inside me. Why did it feel like I just broke him completely? Like I’d done something terribly wrong… and I might regret it later?
The guilt sat like a bomb ready to explode in my stomach. I wouldn’t deny the fact that I’d told him there was nothing between Thane and me. Damn right… I’d let him think there was a chance, even after the kiss with Thane, even after I’d started falling so hard I couldn’t breathe without thinking about him. Selfish me used Jay as a safe distraction when I was angry and scared, and now I was standing here watching the hurt I caused.
I pressed my palm against my chest, trying to steady the ache swelling there. Part of me wanted to run after Jay and apologize properly, but another part just knew it'd do nothing except create another space to start something else I wouldn't be able to handle.
My throat suddenly felt dry as my eyes moved around the whole place. “Excuse me,” I said quickly to one of the nurses walking past. “Uh… I’m sorry. I’m just a little thirsty and—”
She didn’t let me finish. “I get it.” She pointed to a corner. “There’s a dispenser over there.”
“Thank you.” She gave me a polite nod and walked away.
I made my way over to the corner, filled a cup, and downed it in one gulp. It didn’t feel like enough, so I filled another one, my eyes drifting back to the exit, wondering what was keeping Thane so long.
That was when I felt a gentle tap behind me. I jolted slightly and turned quickly. “Sally?” I echoed, my frown instantly shifting into surprise.
“Oh my God.” She smiled warmly, her hand coming up to rub my cheek like she always used to whenever she came over for those late-night work sessions with Mum. “Rachel. How are you, my darling?”
Then her expression changed before I could even answer. “Wait… what are you doing in a hospital alone?”
A small laugh slipped out despite how drained I felt. “No, it’s nothing. It’s just Mum…” I paused when I saw the worry settle in her eyes. “We brought her in. It’s not serious.”
They had long nights of talking and brainstorming ideas, files scattered everywhere in Mum’s room. While sometimes it was just quiet conversations behind closed doors. That was before everything slowed down… before the cases stopped coming in.
I hadn’t seen her in a while. Sally opened her mouth to say something, but Jay walked up to us.
“Hey.” His eyes moved from Sally to me. “Uh… you done, Rach?” he asked softly, though the look he gave Sally clearly said who is this woman?
I nodded. “What did the doctor say?”
He forced a small smile. “He said she’s fine for now, but she still needs to stay. Her blood pressure’s a bit too low.”
I blinked. “Wait… what does that mean?”
“It’s nothing serious,” he said quickly. “Just means she’s probably been stressing herself too much lately… and then everything that just happened added to it.”
That should’ve reassured me, and it did, a little, but something about it didn’t settle right. Mum hadn’t seemed stressed lately. If anything, things were supposed to be easier now that she's with Simon’s.
“I think Sarah’s going to be fine, darling.” Sally’s voice softened as she placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’ll come check on her when I’m done with Junior, alright?”
I nodded, managing a small smile. “Thanks, Sally.”
Jay started walking, and I followed him, but, she called out to me before we walked far, “Rachel!” I stopped. Instead of calling me over, Sally walked back toward me. I noticed the way her eyes flicked briefly to Jay before returning to mine, like she was measuring what she could say.
“Listen, darling,” she said quietly, her tone more serious now. “I may not work with your mum anymore, but she’s still very dear to me.” I didn’t say anything. “She’s always been… work driven. You know, extremely passionate about about it.” She continued, hesitation etched in her voice as she exhaled lightly, like she was catching herself. “Maybe she still is.”
There was something in the way she said it as if she knew more than she was letting on. “I think I’ll talk to her myself,” she added quickly. “Take care, alright?”
“Yeah…” I murmured. “You too.” I turned and walked away, but my mind didn’t move with me. Because whatever Sally meant… It sounded like something I should be concerned about.
We made two turns down the hall before we finally entered the room where Mum was receiving her treatment. Jay shut the door gently behind us, but before I could walk toward her, he caught my wrist.
I immediately felt it that same feeling again. Like he was about to say something uncomfortable. But he didn’t this time. He just stared at me.
Then he dropped my wrist awkwardly, like my eyes scared the words out of him. “Is there something you… want to say to me?”
He wiped his face, shaking his head slightly before finally speaking. “This is gonna happen again.”
My brows pulled together. “What do you mean?”