Chapter 181: Samantha and Sam

Samantha's Point of View

Maybe this is all I needed—silence, away from everyone and the noise of the world, more importantly away from Cassandra. That woman made my stomach churn; the amount of nausea I feel when she's around- I just wanted to pull my gun out and shoot her right now and there, but of course I was better than her, which is why I won't stoop to her level—I won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me boiling with rage.

Putting the thought of her aside, I focused on the water slapping against the shore with an ear-smoothing sound—the salty air filled my nostrils, relaxing every muscle in me. I rested my head on my lifted knee, enjoying the beautiful scenery. At this point, I was aware that Nicholas was worried sick about me, but I didn't tell him where I was going—I just wanted to be alone, especially after he called me Cassandra the other day. It hurt my feelings so badly I couldn't utter a word; I just froze for a few seconds. I didn't even realise when I packed my bag and left home—I still have self-respect to save. What he did was disrespectful, and I couldn't forgive him because Cassandra’s effect was taking place, and he was shamelessly allowing it to work—he was allowing her to come between us, which I couldn't take.

“Mommy.” The sound of Noah's voice rang in my ears, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned my attention towards him only to see him running towards me, smiling.

I sprang to my feet and started making my way towards him. I spread my arms, and he jumped right in as I held him tightly. “Are you done eating?” I asked him.

“Yes, Mommy, now I wanna play with you.” His voice was filled with excitement as he screamed his lungs out.

“You wanna play with me, huh?” I tickled him, and he erupted into laughter.

“I wanna play with you, mommy!” He laughed, writhing in my arms, but I didn't stop tickling him, and he kept on laughing nonstop. I couldn't help but laugh with him—maybe this is all I needed with my son. Nicholas won't even guess in his wildest dream that I was in a beach house he brought me five years ago; he's probably thinking that I was in some hotel or something—in fact, I don't care. He should pay for his mistake somehow.

Noah and I sat on the sand, watching the golden hue of the sun as it set to its rightful place, his head resting on my thighs.

“Mommy.”

“Mmmh...”

“Did you break up with my daddy?” Noah asked quietly.

I moved my attention to him and made him sit up straight. His eyes were red with sadness.

“Oh, my boy.” I pulled him up to sit on my lap. “Where did you hear that?” I didn't want the situation to reach this point, but how can I allow my fragile ego to be shattered—he called me with another woman's name. How can I just move on from it? I couldn't–infact I didn't want to, but again, why should I let my son go through all this because of him?

“My friends at school told me,” Noah whispered, his arms wrapping around my neck. “Please don't break up with daddy, mommy.. I wanna stay with both of you. I want us to be a big happy family...”

I chuckled as I placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Don't worry, my boy.. You are going to have a big family with your mommy and daddy.”

Except that I wasn't sure if I was going to forgive Nicholas for what he did—he had no fucking right to compare me to Cassandra; I wasn't her, and I will never be.

“Yay! You are the best mommy.” Noah kissed my cheeks, his smile bright at my words.

But the sweet moment was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat. I snapped my attention behind me, and my eyes went wide at the person I saw—how did he find this place? He doesn't even know about it; then how—

“Uncle Sam...” Noah squealed, his voice filled with joy as he jumped off me and rushed to his uncle.

Somehow, his presence sent something deep down my spine—a shiver of fear. I didn't like his presence here; he was making me see things I've been avoiding—running away from, to be honest. I didn't want to be alone with him—I was sure of one thing: I loved Nicholas; I wanted to be with him–he's the man I'd always want… Not Sam, or I thought so!

I forced myself to spring to my feet and dust off the sand on my shorts before I hesitantly walked towards Sam. His attention shifted from Noah, his gaze locking with mine. I averted it, crossing my arms over my chest in an attempt to protect myself—but what was I protecting myself from—him or my heart, which was torn between a man I loved and craved?

What

Of course I feel nothing for Sam, absolutely nothing, or maybe I'm trying to convince the heart which was already taking a deadly path—a path of wanted things I craved, desperately wanted but still can't have?

I pinched my arm, pulling myself out of my thoughts–I can't allow these thoughts to control me, but how does one fight a battle for someone you love and crave, and which one has to win?

Fuck me!

I'm a damn married woman, I love my husband, and that's where the story ends.

I forced the words deep in my brain and made sure they echoed every time a silly thought tried to take over.

“Can you wait for us inside, my boy? I need to talk to your mother...” Sam’s voice was barely above a whisper.

My heart skipped an unhealthy beat. I didn't like whatever he wanted to say; in fact, I didn't want to hear it, but of course I couldn't say anything in front of my son.

Sam gently placed Noah on the ground, and he dashed inside the house when he was bribed with a cellphone.

Once again his gaze found mine, but I didn't dare look at him. “What brings you here?” I kept a straight face even though my heart was on the verge of bursting out of my chest.

Sam let out a deep breath. “You left without a word.”

“That's none of your business.” I snapped..

“None of my business!” He repeated my words, teeth clenched. “I was fucking worried about you.. Of course it's my damn business.”

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. “As you can see, Noah and I are perfectly fine. You can go back.”

Sam ran his hands through his hair, trying his very best to control his rage, which I suppose was building up because of me. “Why are you being like this?”

“Being like what?” I forced myself to shrug.

“Being cruel and ignorant...” His words cut a sharp pang in my chest, but I ignored it. “You don't care about my feelings at all… You act as if what I feel doesn't matter. You leave without a word, knowing I'd be worried, but you just don't give a damn. What must I do to show you that my feelings for you are real—I want you to know how I feel for you; tell me how I should express it?”

I balled my hand into a fist. Why is he doing this to me—he's confusing me and making me question the love I have for Nicholas—he was being a temptation in my life, especially with what's happening between Nicholas and me. I swallowed for a few good seconds before I prepared myself to speak. “Have you forgotten that I'm your brother’s wife?” I asked, but he didn't even care; instead, he took a step closer to me.

I froze to the ground, my body going rigid. “Just tell me you don't feel the same for me, and I will stop bothering you.” He reached to take my hand, but I shuffled a step back.

My words got trapped in my throat. I didn't know what to say; I had a lot to say. I wanted to tell him, but what can I actually say—I'm confused, or maybe I'm pretending to be confused?