Feel loved
I turned to face him and reached for the shampoo bottle, squeezing it into my palm. I lifted my arms to reach his hair, but my arms were so sore I winced halfway up.
Noticing my discomfort, Felix placed his hands on my hips and slowly knelt in front of me, his head now much lower so I could reach it without effort. I chuckled when he did that, finding his solution a bit childish.
I massaged his scalp just the way I knew he liked. He rested his forehead against my belly, humming in satisfaction. I looked down at him and noticed his eyes were closed, completely immersed in relaxation.
"You really want me to bring my stuff?" I asked. He lifted his head and looked up at me, sincerity in his eyes. He then pressed his lips against my belly, letting them linger.
"You're already here all the time, might as well improve logistics."
He was right. This wasn't such a big step like I thought it was. I was already with him most of my free time, so bringing my stuff or not wasn't the defining indicator that we were moving too fast.
But I was still apprehensive. "What if you have people over and they see my things?"
He kissed another spot of my belly, this time lower. "No one is gonna go through my drawers."
He was right, I knew he was, but even with all his rationalization it still felt like a huge step for me.
I lifted Felix's head like he had done for me, his chin resting on my belly. With the shower head in my hand, I moved it across his forehead, washing the shampoo away. His face was completely serene, like he was on cloud nine.
"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" I asked with a smile.
He smiled with his eyes closed. "I've said it once and I'll say it again, you have magic hands."
"Not as magic as yours, I'm afraid."
He opened his eyes, a sneaky grin on his lips. He got up and reached for the shower gel, squeezing the contents of the bottle into his hand.
"Close your eyes." He whispered, putting the shower head back up above our heads. I did as he asked with a giddy smirk.
Next thing I knew he had his hands all over my skin, massaging me slowly, washing every inch of my skin. When he started to kiss me, I had the urge to touch him too, so I copied him. I reached for the shower gel and spread it all over his skin, our lips never parting.
This wasn't about sex, this was different. It wasn't lust, there was no urgency in what we were doing, there was no need to be satisfied. Even when Felix's hands brushed against the places I enjoyed being touched the most during sex, I didn't feel that spark. It felt like we were just taking care of each other. In a way, it was intensely romantic: the warm water, the scent of the soap, our hands exploring, our bodies connected.
When all the suds had drained and our skin was clean, we turned off the water, wrapping ourselves in towels. Felix handed me the clothes I had worn the day before so I could put them on and left the bathroom, opening his wardrobe and deciding what to wear.
My heart felt warm, so so warm. There must have been something in the water because I felt like I was under a spell.
"Hey, join me in the kitchen when you're ready." Said Felix, peeping his head inside.
"Alright, I'm almost done." I said, drying my hair with a towel. I was expecting him to leave, but instead he stayed there, leaning against the door frame.
"What?" I asked, embarrassed that he was looking at me. "Aren't you going?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Changed my mind. I'm not in a hurry."
I held his gaze in the mirror, but after a few seconds he looked away at the ground. He looked back up, biting the inside of his cheek. He then did something very peculiar: he opened his mouth to speak, but closed it instantly after, as if he was having second thoughts.
"What is it Felix?" I asked, taking a step closer to the mirror and applying the make-up I had (by chance) in my university bag.
He placed his hand behind his neck, avoiding my gaze.
"Oh, it's nothing."
"Come on, spit it out."
"I'm telling you, it's nothing."
I huffed. "Alright, suit yourself. But I know you wanted to say something."
We fell silent, Felix looking at me through my reflection in the mirror. I applied my lipstick carefully, following the curve of my cupid's bow.
"I-" Felix broke the silence. He hesitated again, but whatever it was he was battling inside, he was going to spill it out. "I had never done that before."
I stopped applying my lipstick midway, his words stopping me in my tracks. I didn't turn around to face him, just looked at him through the mirror.
He scratched his head in embarrassment. "I mean, technically with you everything is new because, well, you're my student and all, but like, this... This is a... This was something I had never... Done. With anyone."
My heart was literally exploding. He was being so honest and vulnerable with me that I didn't know how to react, didn't know what to say. He was clumsy with his words, which proved he wasn't very comfortable with revealing such personal information. Yet he did.
From the first time I met him, it was obvious Felix Reynolds was an experienced man: academically, artistically, socially, sexually. He exuded confidence, knowledge, and control in everything he did. To me, my professor seemed untouchable, bearing no weaknesses, and yet, here he was, letting down his walls, showing me the true Felix Reynolds who wasn't a superhuman.
I gave up on applying my lipstick with care now that my hands weren't steady anymore. Instead, I used my fingers to spread it over my lips. When I was done I turned around and faced him.
"How come you've never done that before?" I asked softly. It was genuinely puzzling how he had never showered with someone before. Even though we had never discussed it, it was obvious he had had sexual partners before.
He simply shrugged his shoulders. "It just never happened, I guess."
I hugged him around the belly, my face looking up at him. "Did you like it?"
He hugged me back. "It was great."
A brilliant idea sparked in my head. I pinched him over his shirt. "Great?"
He chuckled, understanding what I was getting at. "Fantastic."
I pinched him again. "Fantastic?"
Suddenly, he picked me up, my feet dangling off the ground. I burst into laughter as I protested for him to put me down.
"That's enough talking. Let's get cooking, I'm starving."
\---
We had lunch at around midday, which was perfect because I had to leave at one in the afternoon. Unsurprisingly, Felix offered to drop me off at Maddox's house. When we got there, Felix parked a few feet away from the building.
"Wait, hold on." He said before I could open the car door. "I have something for you."
I turned to him, intrigued. He rummaged through his coat pocket and retrieved a small wooden box. He handed it to me, placing it in my palm.
"You're only allowed to open this on Monday morning ten minutes before my lecture. Not before."
I raised an eyebrow. "Can I ask why?"
He gave me a smirk. "You'll see, but the surprise will only work if you open it ten minutes before the lecture. If you open it before you'll ruin the surprise."
This warning only made me want to open it more.
"Promise me." He said. "Ten minutes before."
Chuckling, I said "Alright, I promise. Although the wait will kill me."
He shrugged his shoulders. "The anticipation is part of the present."
Okay, now I was extremely intrigued.
"Also, I should warn you..." Felix leaned towards me, his mouth close to my ear. "Open it alone."
My cheeks turned bright red. What the hell was inside that small box that I could only open right before walking into his class and that no one could see?
"Hmm, you got me intrigued, Sir. But I promise I'll do as you say."
He winked at me. "Good boy."
He always gave me butterflies when he called me that.
"Alright, time to go." I leaned over to Felix and kissed him on the lips. "Felix, honestly, I don't have words for yesterday and today. It was amazing. It still hasn't sunk in that we're going to Paris. It's still so surreal."
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You don't need to thank me, you already know that." He kissed my forehead. "Go on now. I'll see you Monday."
I looked at him with puppy eyes, unwillingly opening the car door and stepping out.